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How often are we wrong


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 1st January 2018, 1:54 PM   #166
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Talk, talk, talk but still doing nothing and taking no action.

Only you are keeping you where you are.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 12:16 AM   #167
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"How often have people who held suspicions of their spouse been proven wrong"

Quote:
Originally Posted by jay121 View Post
Married for a number of years and occasionally suspected my wife of a couple single time infidelities. There was nothing blatant, just minor things that individually don't mean much but put together they lead to suspicions. Now I am not a generally suspicious individual, but occasionally I am called upon to make deductions in my work life based on known facts, and I have a good track record of logically making deductions.
I guess the open question here is, "How often have people who held suspicions of their spouse been proven wrong"
I am not talking about people with drug or alcohol issues who have distorted views of reality, but just ordinary people who usually give the benefit of the doubt to their loved ones.
I've been active in this forum for five years. I can remember one poster who never definitively proved his wife was cheating and had a bunch of conflagrated suspicions. He disappeared after a few pages, so we don't know the outcome. That might have happened another time or two. In five years. But I've read dozens that turned out the other way—OP came here asking, doubting, finally confirming that spouse was currently and/or had been unfaithful. "Dozens" is conservative.

How many threads have you read? You're back here with the same question, at the same place about it. What have you done since you were here last? Any useful investigations at all? I think that's where this is. Get smart. Make a list. Get practical. You're not going to get a confession.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 1:09 AM   #168
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It's very rare the posters here are wrong.

I've posted here since 2005. Maybe once every two to three years do we get it wrong.


A new poster lists the evidence - evidence doesn't lie.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 1:17 AM   #169
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Quote:
Originally Posted by S2B View Post
Evidence shows your wife enjoys male company without you around...and gets pregnant when you don't have sex.

She's never going to admit to anything. You've had plenty of reasons to admit it to yourself...yet you CHOOSE to be delusional about your wife.

She cheats. She lies. You stay married to her.

Do you have a question or are you planning to keep your head in the sand so not to upset the apple cart?

You can call it a happy marriage - evidence shows it's not. Plenty of people lie to themselves every day.

Is this good enough for you to stay?
You seem to stand firm on being delusional.

Your wife is a consistent cheater and has never experienced any consequences.

You've "allowed it" through all these years. Heck, men you consider your "friends" seem to know they can tap your wife's a$$ without any backlash from you to them or to your wife...why wouldn't they just keep doing it that way for another 20 years?


Your weakness has given your wife permission to have affairs throughout your married life.

If you want it to change - then start taking action to make sure it changes!
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Old 2nd January 2018, 1:37 AM   #170
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What did her phone show?

Have you placed a camera in the house and in her bedroom to see what's really going on?

Start finding out what's real. You've beloved her lies for so long you can't see how pathetic your marriage has become.

Also, have a post nup drawn up...protect all your assets. Demand that she work full time.

And have your kids DNA tested - they may not be yours.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 7:40 AM   #171
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Jay what about the abortion?

You can’t remember the last time the two of you had sex and she is telling you she is having one.

That is when you should have divorced your cheating wife.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 5:12 PM   #172
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I have not read the whole thread but it does seem that you are willingly looking the other way at a lot of suspicious activity. A lot of people here didn't have one 10th the evidence you have, yet once they get here and get the advice you have gotten, they get motivated to investigate.

Perhaps you don't mind all that much if she had a couple of affairs? That is not all that unusual if true. As long as she treats you well enough, in your opinion, is it maybe better not to rock the boat and let her have her dirty little secrets? Is that what you are doing?
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Old 2nd January 2018, 5:20 PM   #173
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I believe that he has turned a blind eye to it for so long that his wife thought he was fine with it. It’s not like he had not know she was off drunk for hours at a time with another man or two.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 6:17 PM   #174
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He doesn't want to know the truth.
So here we could have 99 people telling him they found out they were right and one saying they were wrong and he would go merrily on his way secure in the knowledge it is highly unlikely his wife is cheating on him...

I get it though, better to live in blissful ignorance than to have to face the ugly truth, blow up his world, get a costly divorce, the kids would find out and he spends years in humiliation and misery...
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:58 PM   #175
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elaine567 View Post
He doesn't want to know the truth.
So here we could have 99 people telling him they found out they were right and one saying they were wrong and he would go merrily on his way secure in the knowledge it is highly unlikely his wife is cheating on him...

I get it though, better to live in blissful ignorance than to have to face the ugly truth, blow up his world, get a costly divorce, the kids would find out and he spends years in humiliation and misery...
Costly divorce, yes. Check.

But you lost me at, years in humiliation and misery.

I think he is in for years of humiliation and misery if he doesn't pony up for the costly divorce. If he pays the price for a divorce, he avoids modeling dysfunction to his children and gets a new life with no contact with the person who wants to humiliate him and make him miserable.
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Old 8th January 2018, 10:17 PM   #176
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elaine567 View Post
He doesn't want to know the truth.
Pretty much this. As harsh as this sounds, he's frankly speaking a doormat. He is wholly and absolutely aware of what is going on even if it took this long for him to realize it. He could remember her BRINGING HOME A GODDAMN GUY INTO THEIR HOUSE when she had her party phase minus him. Include the abortion when they weren't having sex and there is no way he doesn't realize what is going on and has been for a long time.

But as long as he doesn't admit it, it's all good. His "friend" isn't plowing his wife behind his back with everyone around them aware of it. People aren't laughing and pointing fingers when he turns his back. It hasn't gotten so bad that others feel the need to tell him and then he laughs it up with his wife and the guy who just slept with her when they come back while missing that they're not laughing with but about him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Confused48 View Post
his children
Yeaaaah, about that. I kinda don't see him being the father to be honest. If he goes for the divorce (which he wont, no chance of him suddenly growing a spine) he really should get a paternity test. I bet the results would be telling. Heck he could get one to finally have definitive proof of what he knew all along.

Last edited by Maraud3r; 8th January 2018 at 10:19 PM..
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Old 8th January 2018, 10:48 PM   #177
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The funny part, or perhaps sad part, is that people here have been posting to a blank wall for almost a year, considering the thread starter hasn't been here since March 2017 and hasn't posted since February 2017.

However, topical insight and advice are always valued here at LoveShack.org so we'll preserve that and hope members will offer their considerable knowledge and heartfelt advice in our other threads of discussion. Thanks!
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