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Crush on married boss and think the feeling is mutual


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 11th September 2017, 7:24 AM   #76
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Originally Posted by mickeyd View Post
Ok so I went to work today and he touched me twice on the shoulder. I didn't know what to do. I still don't know whether he is just being friendly and if I say something I will just look stupid? Do you think he is escalating things?
You report him to the head of human resources for
repeatedly making unnecessary physical contact
with me.
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Old 11th September 2017, 9:32 AM   #77
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Please read my previous posts. My husband is the selfish one - he pays me no attention, secretly texts and spends no time with his kids. My kids and I have a wonderful relationship. However, I have put them first for the past 7 years. I need something in my life too right? Daddy is NOT a good role model to our kids and I have been the devoted wife putting up with s**t long enough. He should of paid more attention to me and appreciated me.
This is why you should have THAT conversation with him. If he doesn't want to change, or take counseling or get a divorce, then suggest an open marriage with strict boundaries. A lot of people do this with success if both are 100% on board with it. There is no need to keep anything a secret.
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Old 11th September 2017, 9:37 AM   #78
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Just because I put my kids first does not mean I don't give a damn about my husband! He should be happy that I am such a good mother but no, all he has cared about is himself.
Maybe I don't know all of your story but I know my wife went all in as a mom. She took our marriage and myself for granted. Didn't want to do date night or anything else for our relationship. There is a lot more to the story but resentment built up on both sides. Finally came to a blow up and I said I was done with the marriage. The thing is I tried to keep the marriage going with no response from her. Then I stopped trying, that is when she noticed I wasn't trying to talk or spend time with her anymore.

We have been trying to put things back together for the past three yrs now.

Only difference between your husband and myself is, I am very involved with my kids. I turned to them when I wasn't getting anywhere with my wife. I have always been there to help around the house as well with working 60 some hrs a week.
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Old 11th September 2017, 9:45 AM   #79
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Just because I put my kids first does not mean I don't give a damn about my husband! He should be happy that I am such a good mother but no, all he has cared about is himself.

You stated this a few pages back...."Of course I am unhappy in my marriage otherwise I wouldn't have a crush on another man. If he was also happy in his marriage I don't think he would be flirting either - am I right? Can I get a man's opinion?"

You have gotten a lot of men's opinions. And you seem unable or unwilling to understand any of us.

You do understand what the vows "for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health" mean don't you?

You are not naive , you are simply just selfish. Again...you have plenty of choices here...you want to pick the one that feels the best at the time...and usually those are the ones that come back to bite you in the ass.


Good luck
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Old 11th September 2017, 10:33 AM   #80
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Ok so I went to work today and he touched me twice on the shoulder. I didn't know what to do. I still don't know whether he is just being friendly and if I say something I will just look stupid? Do you think he is escalating things?
You respond to my post above then post this.

Just go ahead and destroy your marriage, cheat. Do what ever you want because you don't give two cents for your husband.
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Old 11th September 2017, 11:29 AM   #81
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Ok so I went to work today and he touched me twice on the shoulder. I didn't know what to do. I still don't know whether he is just being friendly and if I say something I will just look stupid? Do you think he is escalating things?
Nobody here knows what he's thinking. A touch on the arm is not much, and it's definitely possible that you just have a crush on him and are projecting your own feelings on him. It's also possible that it means something. Either way, he hasn't done anything worth reporting to HR yet, but I really, really hope that IF he does, you do the right thing.

I also hope you do something about the miserable state of your marriage so that you stop wanting to compromise your morals, your family, and his family for the ego stroke of an affair. Please don't destroy all those lives just because you're mad at your husband. Fix your life without ruining anyone else's.
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Old 11th September 2017, 5:52 PM   #82
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Maybe I don't know all of your story but I know my wife went all in as a mom. She took our marriage and myself for granted. Didn't want to do date night or anything else for our relationship. There is a lot more to the story but resentment built up on both sides. Finally came to a blow up and I said I was done with the marriage. The thing is I tried to keep the marriage going with no response from her. Then I stopped trying, that is when she noticed I wasn't trying to talk or spend time with her anymore.

We have been trying to put things back together for the past three yrs now.

Only difference between your husband and myself is, I am very involved with my kids. I turned to them when I wasn't getting anywhere with my wife. I have always been there to help around the house as well with working 60 some hrs a week.
Well there it is. My husband is never there for his kids, hardly helps around the house and does whatever he pleases. Big difference.
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Old 11th September 2017, 5:54 PM   #83
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Nobody here knows what he's thinking. A touch on the arm is not much, and it's definitely possible that you just have a crush on him and are projecting your own feelings on him. It's also possible that it means something. Either way, he hasn't done anything worth reporting to HR yet, but I really, really hope that IF he does, you do the right thing.

I also hope you do something about the miserable state of your marriage so that you stop wanting to compromise your morals, your family, and his family for the ego stroke of an affair. Please don't destroy all those lives just because you're mad at your husband. Fix your life without ruining anyone else's.
Exactly. I am not going to get him in trouble for something that could just be him being friendly. Hence my original post.
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Old 11th September 2017, 6:22 PM   #84
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Exactly. I am not going to get him in trouble for something that could just be him being friendly. Hence my original post.
You disregarded the more important part of my post which begs the question, why would you even consider banging a married dude?

It's not fair to take your frustrations with your own marriage out on someone else's. Why not work on your own marriage instead of stewing in your juices and silently hating your husband?

Grow a pair of ovaries and do something about your terrible marriage! Your husband sounds like he sucks..why are you still with him? Why not ditch him and find yourself a nice SINGLE man who treats you with respect?
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Old 11th September 2017, 6:51 PM   #85
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Well there it is. My husband is never there for his kids, hardly helps around the house and does whatever he pleases. Big difference.
Not big enough to justify an affair. Nothing is, sorry to break that to you.
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Old 11th September 2017, 7:51 PM   #86
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Well there it is. My husband is never there for his kids, hardly helps around the house and does whatever he pleases. Big difference.
None of this justifies a wife to cheat.
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Old 11th September 2017, 8:00 PM   #87
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Exactly. I am not going to get him in trouble for something that could just be him being friendly. Hence my original post.
This is not friendly?

Well you like to debate, make excuses, put a spin on things,
never admit, deflect the issue.

What his behavior is in 1930, 1959, 1993, does not matter.

What matters we are in a time of political correctness. A male
boss touching a female subordinate today in 2017 is highly offense,
highly illegal, politically incorrect for it will be deemed as
sexual harassment.

Your boss knows this yet he thinks he will get away
with such behavior because your non action is you sending
him the green light signal to continue to escalate things.

You know this but will not take up his bad behavior with
management because you do not want this negative
behavior stopped and do not want the OM to get fired
because then your affair will be over.

This work place affair is what businesses do not want
because of the law suit payouts.
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Old 11th September 2017, 11:12 PM   #88
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Well there it is. My husband is never there for his kids, hardly helps around the house and does whatever he pleases. Big difference.
Question is did he try to keep the relationship going at first?

People respond differently to rejection. Just like you at the present, did you see yourself in this position 2 years ago?

If your husband felt rejected by you like I did with my wife, then him pulling out emotionally can be self preservation. Not saying this is what it is but it could be.

mickeyd don't do something you will regret, you are better then this. Stop what is going on with your boss. Let your husband know you want a divorce. Then find someone to love you completely with out the taint of cheating.
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Old 12th September 2017, 6:36 AM   #89
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Question is did he try to keep the relationship going at first?

People respond differently to rejection. Just like you at the present, did you see yourself in this position 2 years ago?

If your husband felt rejected by you like I did with my wife, then him pulling out emotionally can be self preservation. Not saying this is what it is but it could be.

mickeyd don't do something you will regret, you are better then this. Stop what is going on with your boss. Let your husband know you want a divorce. Then find someone to love you completely with out the taint of cheating.
No we had our kids then he saw them as a burden. Also, I am not actually doing anything. My boss is the one "doing" things.... all I said was that I found him attractive. How come I come out being the bad one?
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Old 12th September 2017, 6:40 AM   #90
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You disregarded the more important part of my post which begs the question, why would you even consider banging a married dude?

It's not fair to take your frustrations with your own marriage out on someone else's. Why not work on your own marriage instead of stewing in your juices and silently hating your husband?

Grow a pair of ovaries and do something about your terrible marriage! Your husband sounds like he sucks..why are you still with him? Why not ditch him and find yourself a nice SINGLE man who treats you with respect?
I am not considering banging him. I said I find him attractive and I think he is flirting with me. Who said I wanted to sleep with him? Or have a relationship with him? He is the one "doing" I have done nothing!
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