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Why Meeting People Is So Hard


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 5th November 2017, 11:44 AM   #106
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Well you're definitely wrong on that one. Not all 18-25 year old girls are hot. In fact, I only find anywhere from 20-35% of girls my age attractive.

In one of my classes which has around 25 people, I would say there's 4 girls in that class that I think are cute and would date. Two of them are single. The problem is that I made the mistake of choosing to sit by and talk to a girl who has a boyfriend.

So let's just say there are 12 girls in that class. That means i'm attracted to 1/3rd of the girls there.
Many men would disagree! This is something that distinguishes you from a lot of men. Many men are perfectly happy to date a woman who is attractive even though shes not a beauty queen. I wish i could,see these unattractive college coeds youre around!
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Old 5th November 2017, 12:53 PM   #107
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There are plenty of dull or unattractive women in that age bracket, but the number of good looking ones is way higher than 25 percent. If OP thinks this to be true, he's going to hate his life in 10 years when these women are going to start showing their age.

Do you watch porn on a regular basis, OP? That's going to skew your perception of the women around you over time, whether you're conscious of it or not.
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Old 5th November 2017, 1:05 PM   #108
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Only one or two??? You must have very stringent standards. Most women are at least decent looking, and I dont usually see unattractive young women. This is coming from a straight woman!
There's a difference between recognizing objective beauty and feeling attracted to someone, but of course I learned that from women
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Old 5th November 2017, 1:06 PM   #109
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Do you watch porn on a regular basis, OP? That's going to skew your perception of the women around you over time, whether you're conscious of it or not.
Hahaha this is actually true.
I have a friend that is 30yo and only had sex with two women. The second was hot, pole dancer and thinks like that, but she was with him probably because of convenience.

He follows a lot of fitness models on instagram and doesnt care much about every normal cute girl that approaches him, i guess he thinks he will be with models from now on...

I cannot understand some people
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Old 5th November 2017, 2:01 PM   #110
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I realize there's a lot of beautiful women out there, and in my age bracket it's more than 25% of women. But you have to realize there's a difference between someone being hot, and someone you find hot. They're not always the same. Some guys like tall athletic blondes. Others like petite brunettes. We all have a physical type we tend to be attracted to.

When I mean I find 25-33% of women my age attractive, it means they are my physical ideal. I like short girls with cute faces. For me, that's what I am naturally attracted to simply because i'm a short guy myself.

However, if I were to meet a girl who wasn't my physical ideal but I fell in love with her confidence and personality, then it can override this. As long as she isn't physically repulsive to me.

It really all depends on the demographics as well. Where i'm from, many of the women are heavy and don't take care of themselves.

You're making assumptions that i'm only attracted to models when that's definitely not true. In fact, I probably woudn't even find the majority of them attractive since a lot of them are tall and skinny. I don't like that.
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Old 5th November 2017, 2:48 PM   #111
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I realize there's a lot of beautiful women out there, and in my age bracket it's more than 25% of women. But you have to realize there's a difference between someone being hot, and someone you find hot. They're not always the same. Some guys like tall athletic blondes. Others like petite brunettes. We all have a physical type we tend to be attracted to.

When I mean I find 25-33% of women my age attractive, it means they are my physical ideal. I like short girls with cute faces. For me, that's what I am naturally attracted to simply because i'm a short guy myself.

However, if I were to meet a girl who wasn't my physical ideal but I fell in love with her confidence and personality, then it can override this. As long as she isn't physically repulsive to me.

It really all depends on the demographics as well. Where i'm from, many of the women are heavy and don't take care of themselves.

You're making assumptions that i'm only attracted to models when that's definitely not true. In fact, I probably woudn't even find the majority of them attractive since a lot of them are tall and skinny. I don't like that.
Being attracted to a personality is amazing thing but also a curse because you wont ever find that personality again, whereas you might well find 5.2 cute face.
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Old 7th November 2017, 6:09 PM   #112
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You sound like a picky dude who hasn't dated much and have your own flaws, for example, being short and possibly others uninteresting traits
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Old 7th November 2017, 6:35 PM   #113
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Being attracted to a personality is amazing thing but also a curse because you wont ever find that personality again, whereas you might well find 5.2 cute face.
There is more than one good personality out there
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Old 8th November 2017, 7:30 AM   #114
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There is more than one good personality out there


"Good" I wasn't referring to good but if you like someone for their own unique personality you simply wont find that self same personality again.


I think its far easier to find physical attraction then it is to find a personality you really like. In theory its the personality a person should like most I believe doing so could be fundamentally flawed but its not like you can go and find the same person again.


Whereas physical attraction is easier to find.
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Old 8th November 2017, 1:13 PM   #115
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For me Physical Attraction is more easy to scope out.

Personality wise. Its harder to match people. I would not even match my parents, if I knew them seperetly.
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Old 8th November 2017, 1:37 PM   #116
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Being attracted to a personality is amazing thing but also a curse because you wont ever find that personality again, whereas you might well find 5.2 cute face.
That makes absolutely no sense at all. Faces are just as unique as personalities. No two people look alike nor do any two people have the same personality. The only reason you think it's easier to find a pretty face is because you're not meeting enough women. You can stare at women walking down the street or swipe profiles all day long, but actually getting to know their personality requires meeting them...
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Old 8th November 2017, 2:22 PM   #117
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That makes absolutely no sense at all. Faces are just as unique as personalities. No two people look alike nor do any two people have the same personality. The only reason you think it's easier to find a pretty face is because you're not meeting enough women. You can stare at women walking down the street or swipe profiles all day long, but actually getting to know their personality requires meeting them...


In terms of meeting people yes I agree with you but when you meet people you might actually find that many of essentially the same. I'd wager in the OP age group of 19-22 most of those girls will have similar interests be influenced by similar media, behave in similar ways and mostly just be largely the same.


I believe you can tell within 30 minutes if you like someone or not and by that I must mention it cuts both ways, you have that 30 min window to impress or do whatever to captivate the other person. I hate personally hate this but its simply how the world seems to work.


As others have said the OP has a considerable advantage being around a lot of people, in that sense its easy to meet people but in my view he needs to make himself stand out somehow, offer up something different perhaps but not too different to be shunned as being non conformist.


What is very hard is when you need to actually go out and find people, I'd wager this is the primary reason why guys who hit 30+ with no experience wont ever get any because it just becomes harder and harder to meet people, the 20 something they want don't relate to them and the 30 something's they aren't interested in.


OP, my suggestion to you is to speak to anyone you want to, even the most random thing can help, try this, its awkward but you might find some confidence in being able to do it and others might see that.
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Old 8th November 2017, 3:10 PM   #118
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"Good" I wasn't referring to good but if you like someone for their own unique personality you simply wont find that self same personality again.


I think its far easier to find physical attraction then it is to find a personality you really like. In theory its the personality a person should like most I believe doing so could be fundamentally flawed but its not like you can go and find the same person again.


Whereas physical attraction is easier to find.
No, you will never find that unique personality again. But you will find another unique and terrific personality.

Physical attraction does little for me. It's all about the cerebral here.
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Old 9th November 2017, 4:57 AM   #119
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Basil. We all need that Physical Attraction. If its not there. Nothing can happen. All the Cerebral does is make it last longer.
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