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Ex AP got in touch with me


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

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Old 5th October 2017, 3:10 PM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DKT3 View Post
But, you are a person that said "I will always love my AP"....just saying


OP point is a lot of times the AP gets the blameshift more so than the WS & I agree...example a BS that goes on & on about how awful OM or OW is but when asked why they stay with their spouse "well I love them". Ive heard this personally so many times from multiple BS...in cases like that, i believe the BS is really upset that they were too weak to leave & in denial that their spouse is just as bad if not worse than the AP. At the end of the day, the WS is just as awful as the AP but IMO worse bc they were the ones that looked their BS in the eye & lied. Which I completely owned up to when confessing my own A.

I'll always take a 100% of the blame for what I did bc I can't put blame on anyone for stepping out of my marriage but me. OM did not make me do anything I didn't fully volunteer for...so to answer your question. Yep, I'll always care for my AP bc I don't hold him accountable for my actions. It was ALL my decision, just as I don't hold my H OW bc it was all his choice to do what he did...& He shouldn't blame her for his own actions either.

Last edited by Whoknew30; 5th October 2017 at 3:13 PM.. Reason: Spell check
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Old 5th October 2017, 3:22 PM   #47
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In essence what you're saying is you didn't cause him to have an affair ... and proof of that is that he's gone on to another OW after you.

You're absolutely right. It's not your fault he had an affair. He's the kind of man that would have had an affair anyway ... with anybody.


Now he sniggers and laughs because be believes she's obsessed with you, meanwhile he's got himself another OW.

Congratulations to him on securing another woman willing to be used by him.

He called you to rub it in
your face and you have him the time of day.

Next time, just shut him down and let him know you aren't interested in his marriage or his affairs.
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Old 5th October 2017, 3:41 PM   #48
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Originally Posted by Ahurtgirl View Post
Oh I regret ever meeting him. Not struggling with that. I wasn't the one that cheated on anyone. I never want to be involved with a MM ever again and I will hate him and basically any one who cheats from now on. Actually hate isn't a strong enough word. Cheaters destroy lives and I hate that I was a part of his deception.
How can you hate all cheaters, given the fact that you were married when your affair started? Don't you deserve the chance to have an an honest relationship, one that doesn't start with deception? I think your continuing focus on ex-mm and his wife is detrimental to your healing.
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Old 6th October 2017, 4:01 AM   #49
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He has the title for ‘Absolute Azzclown’ for this week...

It must be so tough for you hearing about all this nuisense, why do you need to get this useless info from him?. Next time just talk legal and if he starts any of this extra talk just say ‘ I aont got time for this shiit, I have way better things to do’...
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Old 8th October 2017, 1:14 AM   #50
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so what happens if his wife finds out that you two had contact? i understand that there is a contract (or something to that effect that is legally binding) that says you two are to have no contact. If this is broken, and say she reports both of you, what happens?
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