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Guilt pulling me down, how to move ahead?


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Old 9th January 2018, 11:33 PM   #466
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Hi Deepremorse, for your current dilemma, I have only one answer. Follow his lead. Let him decide. On your anniversary I would be very careful about sending him any wishes. If he chooses to wish you then only should you respond.

If you still insist on sending him some reminder then it should be something generic like 'Have a good day' or something similar. There should be nothing about your anniversary. I say this because you have repeatedly said he reacts logically to everything and he may just think you are reminding him of the anniversary because you are clinging on to hopes of getting back with him. I may be wrong here but it is a risky situation and you should play your cards very carefully indeed. Warm wishes.
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Old 17th January 2018, 6:02 AM   #467
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Originally Posted by Just a Guy View Post
Hi Deepremorse, for your current dilemma, I have only one answer. Follow his lead. Let him decide. On your anniversary I would be very careful about sending him any wishes. If he chooses to wish you then only should you respond.

If you still insist on sending him some reminder then it should be something generic like 'Have a good day' or something similar. There should be nothing about your anniversary. I say this because you have repeatedly said he reacts logically to everything and he may just think you are reminding him of the anniversary because you are clinging on to hopes of getting back with him. I may be wrong here but it is a risky situation and you should play your cards very carefully indeed. Warm wishes.
Couldn't get myself to send him anything. Thought it would be a very selfish move. Also I was scared of how he would react. He didn't greet. My MIL called and spoke. It seems that he is super busy with work and he might have to relocate to NYC. I figured that might be the reason for divorce proceedings being on hold. But NYC is good news for me as we have an office there.
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Old 17th January 2018, 2:35 PM   #468
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Couldn't get myself to send him anything. Thought it would be a very selfish move. Also I was scared of how he would react. He didn't greet. My MIL called and spoke. It seems that he is super busy with work and he might have to relocate to NYC. I figured that might be the reason for divorce proceedings being on hold. But NYC is good news for me as we have an office there.
Wise decision, seems to me. How kind of your MIL to call you! Good news about his relocation to NYC since you have an office there. Are you there often?
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Old 19th January 2018, 5:09 PM   #469
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Wise decision, seems to me. How kind of your MIL to call you! Good news about his relocation to NYC since you have an office there. Are you there often?
Been there only once but I can try for an offshore position. The management is very supportive. If I drop a request they might consider. But all this depends on him. It's not final for him and I don't have much information about his current status.
I have special bond with my MIL. I was there with her every moment when she had some serious health issues. And I trust her blindly.
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Old 19th January 2018, 5:37 PM   #470
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Been there only once but I can try for an offshore position. The management is very supportive. If I drop a request they might consider. But all this depends on him. It's not final for him and I don't have much information about his current status.
I have special bond with my MIL. I was there with her every moment when she had some serious health issues. And I trust her blindly.
Beautiful to read, Dr! How very wonderful!
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Old 24th January 2018, 12:43 AM   #471
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Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and views. Appreciate all of you for sharing your life experiences and wisdom.
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Old Yesterday, 11:37 AM   #472
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Thought I will give an update.

Early next month, I am visiting Frankfurt to meet my husband. Earlier he had asked me to visit and now he is moving to NYC, so I thought I could go there and see around with him. I hope things will be better.

The reason I am posting again is: things happened so smoothly that it is beyond my belief. The moment I said I would like to visit, he immediately said yes. Knowing that it's him, I can't believe this is happening. I mean I have a gut feeling that something will go wrong and it's not allowing me to be happy about it. I have a feeling that my expectations would get crushed. But again I didn't have any expectation. I was expecting to get a divorced woman tag by end of last year. But here I am still waiting for him to put the final papers. With him agreeing for me to come down there is moving my emotional balance. I knew he would be busy as he has to handover everything next month and move to NYC. But still he agreed to take time out from his schedule. It has never happened before when we were together. I mean he enjoyed success at a very young age but it did cost him his personal time. For him, work comes way above in priority list and I feel he has changed now or someone else who is in his life may have changed him.


## Thanks to the moderators for reopening the thread.
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Old Today, 1:33 AM   #473
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Very good news, just be yourself, follow his lead, go there with no expectations and have fun. Your both in a foreign city depending on each other, don't let the pressures from back home interfere. That is a huge change.
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