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Wife and bestfriend


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 21st September 2013, 7:11 PM   #31
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OP you are wasting your time asking her those questions because she is going to lie, lie and lie some more. How will you know she's lying - her lips will be moving. The truth is she got bored having a good husband who treated her like a lady and wanted the "bad boy" who would treat her like the slut she is. Sorry to be so blunt, but it's the dang truth. Divorce her and move forward.
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Old 21st September 2013, 9:46 PM   #32
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just got back from meeting the soon to be ex.It was like deja vu all over again her heavly crying begging to come home she has nothing without me in her life just like the first time she was caught.She refused to answer my questions saying "let's not focus on him let get us on the right path" she did tell me she didn't love him and that he was mistake and nothing happen since they was caught the first time" i asked her why was you still in contact with him her response "Before all this started he was a good friend and i didn't want to lose his friendship.What a waste of my time.I stayed calm and left my emotions at home.

PS.

Told her about my plans to divorce. She said she plan to fight me every step of the way to get me back and she's not giving up.she has been calling nonstop since i left her just got home and she's still calling all going to voice mail.Straight ignoring her now she can talk to my lawyer
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Old 21st September 2013, 9:48 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stillafool View Post
OP you are wasting your time asking her those questions because she is going to lie, lie and lie some more. How will you know she's lying - her lips will be moving. The truth is she got bored having a good husband who treated her like a lady and wanted the "bad boy" who would treat her like the slut she is. Sorry to be so blunt, but it's the dang truth. Divorce her and move forward.
You were right it was a waste of my time
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Old 21st September 2013, 9:51 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by atreides View Post
forgive me if i missed it, but you state "first time" so cheated before this time?
I was referring to when i caught them in bed her parent knows about that, but not about her still being in contact with him after i had decided to give her another chance
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Old 21st September 2013, 10:22 PM   #35
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If she keeps phoning and texting and you don't want it, get a RO so she can't contact you in any way and let your lawyer do the talking for you. Sometimes people do crazy things when their back is too the wall and it could cost you. Keep away from her.
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Old 22nd September 2013, 12:27 AM   #36
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just put her on cheatersville
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Old 22nd September 2013, 1:55 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by Leaving View Post
just got back from meeting the soon to be ex.It was like deja vu all over again her heavly crying begging to come home she has nothing without me in her life just like the first time she was caught.She refused to answer my questions saying "let's not focus on him let get us on the right path" she did tell me she didn't love him and that he was mistake and nothing happen since they was caught the first time" i asked her why was you still in contact with him her response "Before all this started he was a good friend and i didn't want to lose his friendship.What a waste of my time.I stayed calm and left my emotions at home.

PS.

Told her about my plans to divorce. She said she plan to fight me every step of the way to get me back and she's not giving up.she has been calling nonstop since i left her just got home and she's still calling all going to voice mail.Straight ignoring her now she can talk to my lawyer
Bolded part. So, she wants to hang onto a good friendship vs letting him go and showing you real remorse, answering all your questions, doing everything that is required to fix herself and own her part in all this.

She is in desperation mode and the crocodile tears (though I'm sure she is genuinally upset too, she's just using them to manipulate you to not kick her out of your life) will be coming more and more.
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Old 22nd September 2013, 3:12 AM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leaving View Post
just got back from meeting the soon to be ex.It was like deja vu all over again her heavly crying begging to come home she has nothing without me in her life just like the first time she was caught.She refused to answer my questions saying "let's not focus on him let get us on the right path" she did tell me she didn't love him and that he was mistake and nothing happen since they was caught the first time" i asked her why was you still in contact with him her response "Before all this started he was a good friend and i didn't want to lose his friendship.What a waste of my time.I stayed calm and left my emotions at home.

PS.

Told her about my plans to divorce. She said she plan to fight me every step of the way to get me back and she's not giving up.she has been calling nonstop since i left her just got home and she's still calling all going to voice mail.Straight ignoring her now she can talk to my lawyer

Somehow she was still willing to risk her family for someone she didn't love, what value does that put on you? By not answering your questions about O/M she was protecting him and choosing him over you. Cheaterville is a good place for her, all men should be warned about her.
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Old 22nd September 2013, 9:43 AM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leaving View Post
just got back from meeting the soon to be ex.It was like deja vu all over again her heavly crying begging to come home she has nothing without me in her life just like the first time she was caught.She refused to answer my questions saying "let's not focus on him let get us on the right path" she did tell me she didn't love him and that he was mistake and nothing happen since they was caught the first time" i asked her why was you still in contact with him her response "Before all this started he was a good friend and i didn't want to lose his friendship.What a waste of my time.I stayed calm and left my emotions at home.

PS.

Told her about my plans to divorce. She said she plan to fight me every step of the way to get me back and she's not giving up.she has been calling nonstop since i left her just got home and she's still calling all going to voice mail.Straight ignoring her now she can talk to my lawyer

Standard WW baloney. Words spoken to keep in back up mode incase OM dumps her butt. Also to maintain contact with OM until you stop checking up on her so she can resume the affair.

Married people do not need hence should have opposite sex friends.
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Old 22nd September 2013, 12:02 PM   #40
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The fact that your wife would have sex with your best friend in your bed in your home shows how little she thought of you and your marriage. This is an absolutely deal breaker for almost anyone. The fact that she would tell you to look forward and not back is ridiculous.
I have to ask you do you think down deep she wanted to get caught? I mean screwing your best friend in your bed seems to me to just be asking to get caught. On the other hand, the symbolism of this is huge on multiple levels. She clearly is in denial. You are doing the right thing. Good luck.
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Old 22nd September 2013, 1:36 PM   #41
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Leaving:
Wow, it seems as though she is only sorry she got caught. No real remorse, and not being honest which shows she is immature and not "wife" material. Your next step is to find a really great attorney, and to make sure you go over your pre-nup, accounts, financial funds such as IRA's, etc. just so you can understand the legalities of your situation. Make sure this attorney is clear that you no longer want to have any contact with your wife because it sounds as though she could get emotionally draining in the future per her conversation with you on not wanting to let you go. She already let you go when she decided to cheat with your "faux" best friend in your marital bed.
Also, be prepared when she realizes you aren't going to want her back ever for her to hurl accusations at you regarding anything from finances to not being good in bed. It never fails that the party who wrongs usually can find justification for what they did because they are in denial. You are absolutely right in that he didn't seduce her, but she went willingly, probably liking the secretive aspect of the affair.
On a good note, you do not have to waste one more day on a partner who did not appreciate the marriage vows she made. After you heal, and surround yourself with family and friends who love you, you will be happy that you got out when you did instead of staying in a marriage with someone who doesn't appreciate you or her vows.
You are going to be just fine without her. It is her loss. You have your entire life ahead of you to live a life of honesty and integrity.
Best,
Grumps
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Old 24th September 2013, 12:48 AM   #42
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about 2hrs ago she pops up and refuse to leave the house says since we are still married this is her house 2 and she ain't leaving until the divorce happen i asked her why she replied trying to win u back

Legally can she do this ?

Call my lawyer first thing tommrow
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Old 24th September 2013, 12:57 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by Leaving View Post
about 2hrs ago she pops up and refuse to leave the house says since we are still married this is her house 2 and she ain't leaving until the divorce happen i asked her why she replied trying to win u back

Legally can she do this ?

Call my lawyer first thing tommrow
Yes legally she sure can. It is her house too an until you have a court order in hand there isn't much you can do.
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Old 24th September 2013, 4:23 AM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leaving View Post
about 2hrs ago she pops up and refuse to leave the house says since we are still married this is her house 2 and she ain't leaving until the divorce happen i asked her why she replied trying to win u back

Legally can she do this ?

Call my lawyer first thing tommrow

If you owned the home before you married her, your allowed to keep the assets you owned and brought into the marriage, talk to a lawyer. Protect your finances.
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Old 24th September 2013, 10:25 AM   #45
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She will try anything mate. First back into the house and in ger twisted mind she'll that as a step to reconciliation. You need to be strong her and stand your ground. I'm afraid she will try some stunts at the house so look after yourself mate. If it comes to it rent a room out to someone she will absolutely hate and then get on with the legal stuff. No point beating around the bush you have the rest of your life to look forward to.....in good time.
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