a4a Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 OMG he mows the lawn for me..... Post shrinky dink phone call the H tells me he does all these wonderful things for me. :rolleyes: Men you have got to learn that the lawn mowing does not count as a "loving gift" to your wife. More so when you ignore her other requests and needs. this is like a wife telling you she washed your socks along with the other laundry so you should know she loves you regardless if you have not had sex in 10 years....... regardless of your protests and pleas. - But I washed your socks!!!!! The lawn is the lawn..... if single or married the lawn must be mowed. (this is an example I actually mow the lawn too) It is indeed a Tater kinda day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 I mowed my wife's lawn last night...she was most pleased. Oh you mean the lawn as in yard, the grass, ok got it. I thought it was always tater day for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 I mowed my wife's lawn last night...she was most pleased. Oh you mean the lawn as in yard, the grass, ok got it. I thought it was always tater day for you. no tater days are limited to non work days.... being taterish does not pay the bills. I only have the fork out when clients are not around. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 time for the topless ride on the mower perhaps? i'll be right over a4a! can we make soap after that? he he maybe hubby can watch... Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 All I know is, I'm sorry you feel the need to continue to put up with all that, if its so distressing to you. Its not healthy for anyone involved. Anyway, let the forking begin. Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 time for the topless ride on the mower perhaps? i'll be right over a4a! can we make soap after that? he he maybe hubby can watch... Tractor is parked out front...... I was supposed to be cleaning up the hedge clippings with it.... perhaps a soapy tractor ride is in order? H would not bother to watch. I am merely his co worker and ottoman. He is going to be so shocked when my needs are fulfilled by another....... even though he is aware of it as a distinct possibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 All I know is, I'm sorry you feel the need to continue to put up with all that, if its so distressing to you. Its not healthy for anyone involved. Anyway, let the forking begin. Jack I am making money at this point.... and nothing bothers me as long as I am working. As soon as I am idle..... I wanna fork him. and who gives a rip about his health? I just lack the desire to fix up this house at this point. Kinda like busting your ass at a business you know is headed belly up. Makes me lack motivation.... I was ready to go do many needed things around here and I have the thought "why bother". I hate being idle. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Jack I am making money at this point.... and nothing bothers me as long as I am working. As soon as I am idle..... I wanna fork him. and who gives a rip about his health? I just lack the desire to fix up this house at this point. Kinda like busting your ass at a business you know is headed belly up. Makes me lack motivation.... I was ready to go do many needed things around here and I have the thought "why bother". I hate being idle. I know you're making money. I know you don't give a rip about his health but I think you do about yours. Even you said you had lack of motivation, a lack of desire to fix the house up, etc. The whole relationship is taking a toll , if you're not wanting to do things you used to want to or enjoy doing. Staying in that mess will only continue to drag you down. BUt I know, I know, its amoney/business thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 I know you're making money. I know you don't give a rip about his health but I think you do about yours. Even you said you had lack of motivation, a lack of desire to fix the house up, etc. The whole relationship is taking a toll , if you're not wanting to do things you used to want to or enjoy doing. Staying in that mess will only continue to drag you down. BUt I know, I know, its amoney/business thing. Until a better opp comes along. I am here. I simply don't want to fix up the house because it is a waste of time. I could put hours of hard work into something I am going to walk away from. I enjoy goals and accomplishments but not if they are wasted and cannot be enjoyed in the future. Frustrating for a goal oriented person that likes a nice home. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 He is going to be so shocked when my needs are fulfilled by another.......Why do I feel a sudden rush of jealousy here??? Wish I knew what to tell ya, as you already know I'm just as confused about these situations as you are.... What would happen if you took off on a week's long cruise and made him handle things on his own for a while? (Besides the obvious 3X extra work when you get back) Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 :confused:Why do I feel a sudden rush of jealousy here??? Wish I knew what to tell ya, as you already know I'm just as confused about these situations as you are.... What would happen if you took off on a week's long cruise and made him handle things on his own for a while? (Besides the obvious 3X extra work when you get back) I would come back to a disaster!!! The business(s) would be in shambles.... the house wrecked ...... dead animals... and the lawn would be mowed! Are you offering to take me on a cruise? Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Until a better opp comes along. I am here. I simply don't want to fix up the house because it is a waste of time. I could put hours of hard work into something I am going to walk away from. I enjoy goals and accomplishments but not if they are wasted and cannot be enjoyed in the future. Frustrating for a goal oriented person that likes a nice home. I understand. I think things will work out the way the are supposed to for you. When that might be, I have no clue, but something will work out at some point, and I doubt your H will be in the picture. Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 I think I will make an online purchase.... :lmao: that seems to help at times. Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 I understand. I think things will work out the way the are supposed to for you. When that might be, I have no clue, but something will work out at some point, and I doubt your H will be in the picture. They will work out.... timing. It's all about timing. Almost like this is a stepping stone to something better. I learned a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 weed the garden! get it? Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 weed the garden! get it? Are you asking her to go smoke weed in the garden? Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 I forgot Moose ...... I am not cruise worthy. The X was..... not me. I am only good for lugging around 200lb bundles of wire, doing taxes, and doing CPR on horses. Not cruise worthy..... not gift worthy...... I know I am not butt ugly. Being married to a person like this certainly makes you feel very very very unattractive (perhaps part of his psycho control issues) I know I am well liked by many people as invitations abound from clients and friends. but again he makes me feel worthless..... it is amazing. My ass must be huge and I must drool when I speak.... not cruise worthy... not even dinner out worthy. Best get back to pluckin' chickens and churnin' butter. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 "but again he makes me feel worthless..... it is amazing." I just hope, that when that time comes along for something better to enter into your life, that you're not so far down by feelings of worthlessness, that you can't enjoy the next chapter of your life. This is what I was meaning earlier about this whole thing taking a toll on you. I understand the whole money/business thing, but is it really worth it to continue to be in a situation that makes you feel so worthless? Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 "but again he makes me feel worthless..... it is amazing." I just hope, that when that time comes along for something better to enter into your life, that you're not so far down by feelings of worthlessness, that you can't enjoy the next chapter of your life. This is what I was meaning earlier about this whole thing taking a toll on you. I understand the whole money/business thing, but is it really worth it to continue to be in a situation that makes you feel so worthless? It is just him. In reality I have accomplished more in my life than most. But he is a like a dead weight to going to the next level. I think he is really jealous. Never have I had a compliment from him. Not a good job - nice butt - or hey this meal is great. Nada. I actually have learned to be shocked when I do get a compliment from people. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 "It is just him." I know its just him. I was meaning the relationship as a whole though, as in what HE is doing to you and the marriage itself. But my point was, as long as YOU stay I'm afraid HE will continue to make you feel worthless. Once again, I understand the money/business thing and waiting on timing for better things yet to come, but in the mean time, he will probably continue to make you feel like crap, and that was my question to you, do you feel staying for/money/business/timing is worth it all for you to cotinue to feel like you do? Link to post Share on other sites
blair08 Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 If its more about the money and your business you have built..... then it will still be about that later on as well....so at what point will you decide to devide or settle the things you need to concerning the business and money, and move on from the relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 If its more about the money and your business you have built..... then it will still be about that later on as well....so at what point will you decide to devide or settle the things you need to concerning the business and money, and move on from the relationship? The business is new. It would not make sense to split now from a financial perspective for either of us. Relationships are not always life priorities. I do have other things in my life. I also have mass amounts of pets. You don't just move on a whim. I can be content on my own. No question about that. Been there for nearly 40 years. It would be nice to have a partner you can trust. But if not I can still be perfectly content and happy alone. The opp will arise - I will make sure it does. Just now is not the right time. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 I also think people need to understand that you just can't pack up and leave a PA spouse/partner. By their own, "logic" they'll dump a load of guilt and blame you, even though you know in your heart of hearts that isn't the case..... At least, that's been my experience with couples I've helped out in the past. PA folk but their partners in between a rock and hard place....they're masters at it in fact... Link to post Share on other sites
angryyoungman70 Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 I also think people need to understand that you just can't pack up and leave a PA spouse/partner. By their own, "logic" they'll dump a load of guilt and blame you, even though you know in your heart of hearts that isn't the case..... At least, that's been my experience with couples I've helped out in the past. PA folk but their partners in between a rock and hard place....they're masters at it in fact... Wise words Moose. I think the same holds true for people who are not PA. Although there may be many, many reasons to leave, there are also several reasons not to do anything as rash as pulling the pin. Link to post Share on other sites
blair08 Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 The business is new. It would not make sense to split now from a financial perspective for either of us. Relationships are not always life priorities. I do have other things in my life. I also have mass amounts of pets. You don't just move on a whim. I can be content on my own. No question about that. Been there for nearly 40 years. It would be nice to have a partner you can trust. But if not I can still be perfectly content and happy alone. The opp will arise - I will make sure it does. Just now is not the right time. Ahhhh I see. Well its bad enough he makes you feel the way you do. I guess being that way is form of abuse and would be no different if it were a physical form as well. People stay for all kinds of reasons I suppose. I hope you find at light at the end of the tunnel soon. Link to post Share on other sites
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