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Sometimes he just ignores my texts [UPDATE I went to see him this weekend]


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 4th January 2017, 1:39 AM   #31
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Mrin, I gotta say, your situation really gives me hope for MY situation. I think that you really gave great advice here. I see a lot of people talking about how it just isn't worth it, but sometimes I feel like we're so easy to move on from being hurt that we don't put the effort in. Being close distance to someone in a relationship significantly improves the chances of being more intimate and working out, but we all know that isn't the case for everyone. I wish there were more posts like these on here sometimes. It's such a drastic breath of fresh air. Thank you so much!
My pleasure dude. LDR's can work. In fact they can be pretty fantastic if it is a great match and both people put in the work to make it fantastic. I never take my soulmate for granted. I feel like I need to earn her love each and every day. It makes me be a better man. A better relationship partner.

Honestly, as ideally suited as we are, I am not entirely sure we'd be the couple we are if we lived in the same city when we first met. A lot of the communication, trust and frankly, conflict resolution techniques we've created would simply not be there if we lived close to each other. Now, whether we are together or apart, we can clean up a five alarm relationship fire in minutes.
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Old 4th January 2017, 3:18 AM   #32
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Secondly, Well, I should add that my guy just one year ago moved away from the city I will be moving to (which happens to be my home city). So chances that he will move back... I don't know if they are high, because he said he 'never really warmed up to it', and he likes his home city, where he now lives again, much better. He lived in my home city for 4 years.
But I wonder if a great love would persuade him to move back? I don't know.
These are things I do worry about, indeed, but it's hard to make any assumptions this early, for sure.
Okay. From my (admittedly very limited) perspective, it sounds like this situation is "viable" enough to pursue things further with him if you're truly feeling that positive vibe. Yes, future decisions may be complicated, and yes, it's too early to address those now, but it doesn't seem like it's flat-out IMPOSSIBLE that the two of you could maybe live in the same location someday if the relationship proved to warrant that.

And the three-hour distance you'll soon be dealing with, though obviously not ideal, is workable. That's a relatively easy car trip or train/bus ride. Seeing each other every or most weekends would be doable without ruining your lives.

I say go for it!
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Old 6th January 2017, 8:14 AM   #33
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I don't think I'm his type...

I realize that the ex-girlfriends of the guy I am dating are skinny and blonde. When we talk about movies or so, he also mentioned some skinny and blonde actresses that he likes. It's weird, because I am a bit curvy with brown hair and brown eyes. I am the opposite of what he is usually going for.

I am really confused. I notice that I tend to date guys who are the same type, and even all my exes date girls before and after me who looked similar to me.

In the two months we have been dating, he hasn't really made any remarks about my looks. This is making me a bit insecure, because I don't look like the women he usually dates. Thoughts?
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Old 6th January 2017, 8:27 AM   #34
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It's not always about looks. It's the personality of a woman that keeps a guy. It's likely that his ' type' has changed ? I wouldn't bother.
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Old 6th January 2017, 8:33 AM   #35
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I realize that the ex-girlfriends of the guy I am dating are skinny and blonde. When we talk about movies or so, he also mentioned some skinny and blonde actresses that he likes. It's weird, because I am a bit curvy with brown hair and brown eyes. I am the opposite of what he is usually going for.

I am really confused. I notice that I tend to date guys who are the same type, and even all my exes date girls before and after me who looked similar to me.

In the two months we have been dating, he hasn't really made any remarks about my looks. This is making me a bit insecure, because I don't look like the women he usually dates. Thoughts?
Do you know the women he usually dates???? I know when I was dating and it was over I would be pissed when the ex dated someone similar in looks as me. I didn't want to look or be similar to anyone else they met but I notice most women expect this or consider it a compliment. Maybe he is dated skinny blondes and then he met a beautiful brunette he couldn't resist (you). So I wouldn't worry about it because he's with you because that's where he wants to be.
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Old 6th January 2017, 9:11 AM   #36
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All of my life I had relationships and dated white men (I am white).

I am currently in a relationship with a black man.

If life worked the way you think than my BF should torture himself right now because all of my past BF were white? and because of this I am not as attracted to him as the men in my past?

See how ridiculous your thinking is?

Maybe your boyfriend discovered a tiny little curvy brunette (you) and he loves it so much he won't ever date a skinny blond again.
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Old 6th January 2017, 9:38 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by heavenonearth View Post
I realize that the ex-girlfriends of the guy I am dating are skinny and blonde. When we talk about movies or so, he also mentioned some skinny and blonde actresses that he likes. It's weird, because I am a bit curvy with brown hair and brown eyes. I am the opposite of what he is usually going for.

I am really confused. I notice that I tend to date guys who are the same type, and even all my exes date girls before and after me who looked similar to me.

In the two months we have been dating, he hasn't really made any remarks about my looks. This is making me a bit insecure, because I don't look like the women he usually dates. Thoughts?
Stop dwelling on looks.

How does he treat you? That is what you need to focus on.

Base your insecurity on how you're letting him treat you and what you get in exchange for allowing that to happen, not who he is no longer dating.
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Old 6th January 2017, 10:37 AM   #38
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It is annoying when your bf has a different 'type'. E.g. my first bf told he likes big women with curves and I was super skinny back then. My 2nd bf liked straight hair and always commented to straighten mine (naturally wavy and very thick so straightening doesn't do it for me). My last bf liked athletic blondes and I'm a brunette and not into sports.

However - I think they still liked something about my looks and that's why they chose me. E.g. second bf with always compliment me on my body, 3rd body - on my skin and teeth etc.

I personally don't have a specific type, and even if I form one (haha, usually like the last guy that I dated), it gets replaced easily if I get into someone else. His looks become my current 'type'.

Your bf can be like me or just something about you attracted him to 'unusual' type for him. I'd not worry unless he gives you a reason to.


Quote:
Originally Posted by heavenonearth View Post
I realize that the ex-girlfriends of the guy I am dating are skinny and blonde. When we talk about movies or so, he also mentioned some skinny and blonde actresses that he likes. It's weird, because I am a bit curvy with brown hair and brown eyes. I am the opposite of what he is usually going for.

I am really confused. I notice that I tend to date guys who are the same type, and even all my exes date girls before and after me who looked similar to me.

In the two months we have been dating, he hasn't really made any remarks about my looks. This is making me a bit insecure, because I don't look like the women he usually dates. Thoughts?
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Old 6th January 2017, 11:00 AM   #39
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My guess is since he pursued a relationship with you, he must have felt some chemistry there or why would he have bothered?


But I think this thread illustrates how important it is for guys to compliment their SOs on their looks, especially when they go to the trouble to get all dolled up.


Just look them in the eyes for a moment and say, "You are stunning". And give them a kiss.


It's so simple but many guys are so clueless.
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Old 6th January 2017, 11:17 AM   #40
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Yeah, you guys, I mean, I am not shallow, I am not focused on looks.
However, it is difficult to control how you feel about certain stuff.
And well, I do feel it's weird that he went for me, if I am not even his type.
Like, at all.



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Originally Posted by No_Go View Post

I personally don't have a specific type, and even if I form one (haha, usually like the last guy that I dated), it gets replaced easily if I get into someone else. His looks become my current 'type'.
Thinking of it, yes, I think I also fall into the category of people who are like that. Funny.
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Old 6th January 2017, 11:20 AM   #41
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I've observed plenty of my own and others patterns with types, and then there is always a shift change somewhere, you're probably that. Something drew him into you.
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Old 6th January 2017, 11:22 AM   #42
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You know how some guys like small boobs?
I recently dated a guy for a short time who liked small boobs and just didnt like mine (I am a C/D cup) and I feel my current guy also likes small boobs.

I never thought I'd be insecure about my big boobs.
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Old 6th January 2017, 11:23 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by heavenonearth View Post
Yeah, you guys, I mean, I am not shallow, I am not focused on looks.
However, it is difficult to control how you feel about certain stuff.
And well, I do feel it's weird that he went for me, if I am not even his type.
Like, at all.Thinking of it, yes, I think I also fall into the category of people who are like that. Funny.
How does he treat you?
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Old 6th January 2017, 11:29 AM   #44
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How does he treat you?

we have only been dating for 2 months and he is really shy.
he's nice to me but he is not very vocal about how he feels about me, he has said a few nice things though.

he's real slow. we haven't even declared to be in a relationship yet.
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Old 6th January 2017, 11:36 AM   #45
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A 'type' changes all the time.

I remember being into body builders, then I remember being into intellectual types, then I remember being into the bad boy looks and followed by the clean cut types.

This fear you have comes from your insecurities. Huge insecurities.
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