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Crush on married boss and think the feeling is mutual


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 10th September 2017, 5:18 PM   #61
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GoldenR how do I shut him down? He's my boss. Right now he is giving me good feedback on my work - and yes I actually work hard and do a good job. What happens to that if I reject him?
This is.....wow....

So to get good feedback on your job, you have to be open to heavy flirting and touching? And then what? It escalates and you have to be open to groping, making out? And then what, sex?

If you're telling me that you have to accept and then reciprocate your boss's sexual advances in order to be a favored employee, then I'll tell you that you need to look for another job.
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Old 10th September 2017, 5:44 PM   #62
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You mentioned that you found your boss attractive from the interview? Why on earth did you take the job?! You need to leave that company ASAP. In the meantime if your boss is only giving you positive feedback because you allow the flirting, etc then you need to report it to HR immediately.
I have a friend who was in a very similar situation. She had an affair with her married boss and they are both now divorced and made a mess of their lives. People used to look up to her, but not anymore. Her reputation is ruined and the guilt she carries is overwhelming. All because of a little bit of "innocent" flirting. Well there's nothing innocent about it. It's downright dangerous. You play with fire until it burns out of control. First, stop accepting this behavior from your boss and stop reciprocating it! Second, try to save your marriage. If that's not possible, get divorced, always put your kids first, spend some time alone to improve yourself, THEN start dating, SINGLE MEN ONLY!
This sort of situation really upsets me because I see how it destroyed my friend, her ex, and their families and friends.
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Old 10th September 2017, 9:41 PM   #63
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GoldenR how do I shut him down? He's my boss. Right now he is giving me good feedback on my work - and yes I actually work hard and do a good job. What happens to that if I reject him?
So..your feedback at work should be based on whether or not you bang your boss? Are you afraid that your feedback will be bad if you don't sleep with him? Are you really that bad at your job?

If that's the case, this job is clearly not right for you.
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Old 10th September 2017, 9:43 PM   #64
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GoldenR how do I shut him down? He's my boss. Right now he is giving me good feedback on my work - and yes I actually work hard and do a good job. What happens to that if I reject him?
Well, hopefully nothing would change. And if it does, have you heard of sexual harassment laws?
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Old 10th September 2017, 10:29 PM   #65
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This is.....wow....

So to get good feedback on your job, you have to be open to heavy flirting and touching? And then what? It escalates and you have to be open to groping, making out? And then what, sex?

If you're telling me that you have to accept and then reciprocate your boss's sexual advances in order to be a favored employee, then I'll tell you that you need to look for another job.
I don't buy it..it seems OP will blame anything to deflect personal responsibility. As mentioned, she found him attractive right away and likely acted accordingly.
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Old 11th September 2017, 1:52 AM   #66
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I don't buy it..it seems OP will blame anything to deflect personal responsibility. As mentioned, she found him attractive right away and likely acted accordingly.
I'm not deflecting responsibility. Besides I find many men attractive but I've never acted on it. That's got nothing to do with it.
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Old 11th September 2017, 3:42 AM   #67
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Sorry I don't understand your acronyms! OM, EA, PA?
Also, he is the one touching me yet you say I allowed him to touch me? What am
Supposed to do? This also has nothing to do with my children
I keep them well away from my work life.
But thank you for the advice. Also, I don't get how people
just assume he is only after sex?? Am I that naive?
Yes you are that naive.

What do you think is going through his mind when you allow him to touch you.

She is easier then I thought.

I wonder how many others she cheated with.

How long did it take them to get her pants off.

These and many other thoughts. None of which are flattering to you.
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Old 11th September 2017, 3:49 AM   #68
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It's not my fault if my boss is the way he is. He is the one that started this. Like I've said previously I've had coworkers in the past try and hit on me. I just haven't responded to them.... this time is different.
So you are willing to destroy another family to scratch your itch?

You are a piece of work. Just because you are unhappy in your marriage you are willing to destroy another wife's marriage.

Divorce your husband and find a single guy.
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Old 11th September 2017, 3:53 AM   #69
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Please read my previous posts. My husband is the selfish one - he pays me no attention, secretly texts and spends no time with his kids. My kids and I have a wonderful relationship. However, I have put them first for the past 7 years. I need something in my life too right? Daddy is NOT a good role model to our kids and I have been the devoted wife putting up with s**t long enough. He should of paid more attention to me and appreciated me.
I can understand why your husband acts the way he does by this post. He has had to put up with knowing you don't give a damn about him for 7 years.
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Old 11th September 2017, 4:00 AM   #70
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GoldenR how do I shut him down? He's my boss. Right now he is giving me good feedback on my work - and yes I actually work hard and do a good job. What happens to that if I reject him?
You keep yourself respect for starters.

Do you really want your good reviews to be because of a possible fling with you?

Just say you are starting to get uncomfortable with the touching.
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Old 11th September 2017, 4:22 AM   #71
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I can understand why your husband acts the way he does by this post. He has had to put up with knowing you don't give a damn about him for 7 years.
Just because I put my kids first does not mean I don't give a damn about my husband! He should be happy that I am such a good mother but no, all he has cared about is himself.
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Old 11th September 2017, 4:44 AM   #72
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Ok so I went to work today and he touched me twice on the shoulder. I didn't know what to do. I still don't know whether he is just being friendly and if I say something I will just look stupid? Do you think he is escalating things?
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Old 11th September 2017, 6:36 AM   #73
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Ok so I went to work today and he touched me twice on the shoulder. I didn't know what to do. I still don't know whether he is just being friendly and if I say something I will just look stupid? Do you think he is escalating things?
Impossible to say.
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Old 11th September 2017, 7:36 AM   #74
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I asked on page one about your character. Have you thought about the kind of person you want to be?
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Old 11th September 2017, 8:17 AM   #75
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GoldenR I don't understand how I am self destructing. And also I am not destroying another family. He needs to take responsibility for his actions he is a grown adult. I am not responsible for his actions. Why make me feel guilty for his family? I know nothing of their situation.
You are in a get away car, behind the wheel

Your partner is in the bank, it's a hold up

He shoots an kills a person committing the crime

You and him both get convicted of not just the bank robbery

You both also get convicted of the second charge of murder.

Why?

You assisted in the crime


Your logic is so child like, uneducated, immature, immoral,
in other words so wrong, so bad, so defective.
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