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Is he being rude?


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Old 2nd January 2018, 5:56 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by girlinNYC View Post
I love banter and am often very receptive to it, I guess something in this instance threw me off a little. I’m a very black and white person (there’s that lawyer) so perhaps the left field replies clashed with how I think. I’ll keep an open mind and test the waters via a drink if he suggests it.
You can try it, but seems like he has the upper hand, and it's not going to end well for you. You want to find someone you can gel well with. Bantering/flirting is fun, why not find it with someone, where you will not feel like the underdog? It's more funner than.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 6:15 PM   #47
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Originally Posted by girlinNYC View Post
Interesting. I guess Iím not one who finds it attractive.
No woman with an ounce of self worth finds it attractive. It's a technique used by guys who have poor social skills to find desperate girls.

You mention that you're pursuing this because he's good looking. That's only skin deep. What makes him really worth pursing?
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Old 2nd January 2018, 6:31 PM   #48
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No woman with an ounce of self worth finds it attractive. It's a technique used by guys who have poor social skills to find desperate girls.

You mention that you're pursuing this because he's good looking. That's only skin deep. What makes him really worth pursing?
Answer in bold.

I remember reading about negging when I was a young man. Cept that back then, I never saw anyone calling it that. I was just reading about how to do well with ladies. No, not PUA stuff either. That sort of thing does work. Sadly. However, many women do not react positively to compliments these days. Just read some OLD profiles where countless women come right out and say not to tell them they're beautiful or whatever. Send those ladies a slightly "negging" message instead and the likelihood of getting a positive response goes up. At least that was my experience.

As to the OP and her situation, I'd say this guy likely is just joking. PUA stuff isn't exactly mainstream so that would not be my go-to answer. Just lighthearted, joking, yet somewhat snide comments. Since he is very good looking, he can pretty much say whatever he wants and ladies will still meet him for drinks. This thread is evidence of that. This is why we can't have nice things.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 6:42 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by SevenCity View Post
Sounds kind of rude and dismissive. But only you can determine if he’s playing or not. Women seem to think “sarcasm” is an attractive attribute as I see it listed in nearly every NYC profile. Not sure why they think it’s a good thing. Perhaps the same is true for guys as well.

This is the problem when you base your matches on only looks.
I see sarcasm listed a lot in so cal profiles too. Personally, it's a turnoff for me - I relate sarcasm with anger and an inability to properly communicate true and authentic feelings = neither of those work for me.


Doesn't matter how good looking - an ineffective communicator is ugly in my world.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 6:48 PM   #50
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I think a lot of people conflate sarcasm with wit so they put they like it???

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 2nd January 2018 at 6:52 PM..
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Old 2nd January 2018, 6:58 PM   #51
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LOL, I had to run through this twice.

Let it go. Your have the sense of humor of a nun.

He probably has basic game but I'm not sure you would recognize it anyway
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Old 2nd January 2018, 7:01 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by enigma32 View Post
Since he is very good looking, he can pretty much say whatever he wants and ladies will still meet him for drinks. This thread is evidence of that. This is why we can't have nice things.
Makes me despair of the human race.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 7:01 PM   #53
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I agree, basil

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Old 2nd January 2018, 7:07 PM   #54
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Let it go. Your have the sense of humor of a nun.

He probably has basic game but I'm not sure you would recognize it anyway
OK, but he is hardly Mr Stand Up is he.
YOU have a pouty face and your career is depressing.
Yeah sure, absolutely hilarious...
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Old 2nd January 2018, 7:07 PM   #55
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Lets look at the real question...Isnt the OP so socially unaware that she needed to ask a forum what this vibe this guy is throwing?

I mean, I got it!! I know what he was going for
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Old 2nd January 2018, 7:13 PM   #56
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A lot of assumption going on here... I agree his comments were somewhat annoying, but it's way too soon to tell what kind of person he really is. Also, it's unfair to assume a guy is an ahole just because he's good looking. Not all good looking people take themselves for gods who can treat everyone as they seem fit.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 7:15 PM   #57
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he challenged her
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Old 2nd January 2018, 7:16 PM   #58
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OK, but he is hardly Mr Stand Up is he.
YOU have a pouty face and your career is depressing.
Yeah sure, absolutely hilarious...
Now for the sake of fairness, this is twisting this guy's words. When you put it like that, it sounds terrible, but that's not what he said, was it? No need to rush to demonize him. Maybe he'll end up being a jerk, but how on Earth would we know from such a little piece of info?
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Old 2nd January 2018, 7:18 PM   #59
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it worked
she failed
he vetted her
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Old 2nd January 2018, 7:19 PM   #60
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Originally Posted by staggerlee71 View Post
LOL, I had to run through this twice.

Let it go. Your have the sense of humor of a nun.

He probably has basic game but I'm not sure you would recognize it anyway
Sorry i had to agree. I'm rooting for the OP but this is a lot of suspicion about a simple (even if it's misguided) statement. Maybe the humor is not on the same page. I think it's funny and appreciate that he is showing or trying to show some wit about the irony of the situation. I don't know how a fawning message back being overly complimentary about her career path would be much better. I don't see it as negging (although it could be possibly). I see it as someone who is trying to show personality and not be boring. Lol, if he even knew this much discussion was going on about a simple statement he may figure that OP and him just aren't well suited humor wise. Idk, i see it as light-hearted and in line with first messages people are trading back and forth. My advice would also be to lighten up, lower the stakes. You're a smart girl and surely will notice if someone is giving you run-around and put downs and can walk away from it at any time when you are sure. This is so much speculation when there is not enough evidence one way or another. So glad you are open to going on a date with him.

Come on guys, so much hate on good looking people. Really?
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Everybody's like: He's no item,Please don't like em, He don't wife em, He one nights em,I never listened No. I shoulda figured though. All that sh*t you was spittin',So unoriginal, But it was you. So I was with it. Then tell you the truth, Wish we never did it. If you was really the realest, Wouldn't be fightin' it.I think your pride is just...In the way
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