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emotionally abusive relationship


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Old 7th November 2010, 9:51 AM   #151
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thank you CUCOON!!
i will definately check it out!!!!
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Old 8th November 2010, 10:02 AM   #152
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Possible emotional abuse>???

Hi,

Well ive just finsihed my 17 month relationship with a gut im totally addicted too.(well i say ive finished it he has actually finished me!)
After the first few months things started to crop up. ,my past was an issue etc.
The big ding dong came in October after i saw my friends be knocked down and killed in front of me and i went out in an emotion state and participated in using recreational drugs after he had told me not too.
After a few weeks he calmed down but told me i was never to drink again unless i wouldnt be given another chance.
He said the reasoning was ecuase i was on medication. His friend said that he didnt mean it and too be honest i didnt take him seriously so a few weeks after when my firiend was returning home from Spain for a week i asked if i couod have a drink, that went down like a lead balloon.
He bought me a ring and then finished with me again. He ignored me over christmas so Boxing day i went out and had a dsrink. Again he went mad.
After 6 months of me chasing him and not drinking we got back together cos he thought id got someone else!
2 weeks i went without texting him which killed me!
After a week or so he would state things about my past saying that he has nothing special with me as i have been married before, engaged efore had a child etc. I cant change my past. Now he has been saying because i was forced by my ex husband to sleep with another woman that he has the upper hand and i should do it for him otherwise he has the uppe hand.
After weeks of hearing this i agreed. So now im allowed to drink and the one time i have had a drink and got drunk with him (he doesnt drink at all) he told me to pull another woman so he could watch. I declined so we went straight home, went to bed and gave me the cold shoulder all night until he wanted sex.
* he thught i looked at some one else whilst i was shopping which i had not so he then for 4 hours looked at every girl that walked by checking them out. I finally had enough after finding it amusing and childish for an hour or so and asked for my car keys. He then left me stranded 25 miles from home at 8 at night. When i called him he told me i was taking the piss out of him being blind in one eye which i would never do. I had to get a taxi home costing 30 then he turned up at midnight waking me up checking my breath to see if id been drinking which i hadnt.
* tells me hes at work and come quietly into the house stading in the bathroom scaring me to death saing i look suspicios!
* Tells me that hes the best ill ever get and to go find someone like me as i dont mind being used and share my man. he knows and will prove himself right that ill get a drinker and get cheated on like always do.
* I got complimented at work and he has said cos someone gave me a compliment i must be close them and given them the wrong impression!

He would go out for an hour but be 4 hours late with his phone turned off. If i was still up when he came home i would be summonsed to bed and if i didnt go he would threaten to go home and not see me.
He tld me becuase i had watched porn in the past i was te reason why i was cheated on and i had to be held responsable cos i was too was too easy going.
Hes told me he wants all my tattoos removed i stated i would but not my sons initials,, he turned round and said if that was the case we were over.
Im at court as my sons doesnt see his father. He wanted it too go through the courts so i have done it his way. Now he wants him to have in-direct contact and if i say he will be custody as hes his dad im accused of still being in love with him!
I am not able to get legal aid so i will be repsresnting myself now he wants me to get a solicitor at his cost to try and stop him seeing him. I saifd it was a waste of money so again he finished with me telling me i should do as he says he is the boss!
Again i have agreed.
He went off in a huff for no reason ignored me all day so i went out and had a drink. He called me at 2am asking if id been drinking which i told him yes. He went to my house took all his things and then turned up where i was saying hed slet with my friends and they were gagging for it. I launched at him and hit him, he dragged me out of the car and left me in the middle of the street on the floor heart broken.
Now he has said to leave him, why cant i theres so much more thats happened but im gutted.
Please help!! x
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Old 8th November 2010, 12:04 PM   #153
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissyC View Post
Hi,

Well ive just finsihed my 17 month relationship with a gut im totally addicted too.(well i say ive finished it he has actually finished me!)
After the first few months things started to crop up. ,my past was an issue etc.
The big ding dong came in October after i saw my friends be knocked down and killed in front of me and i went out in an emotion state and participated in using recreational drugs after he had told me not too.
After a few weeks he calmed down but told me i was never to drink again unless i wouldnt be given another chance.
He said the reasoning was ecuase i was on medication. His friend said that he didnt mean it and too be honest i didnt take him seriously so a few weeks after when my firiend was returning home from Spain for a week i asked if i couod have a drink, that went down like a lead balloon.
He bought me a ring and then finished with me again. He ignored me over christmas so Boxing day i went out and had a dsrink. Again he went mad.
After 6 months of me chasing him and not drinking we got back together cos he thought id got someone else!
2 weeks i went without texting him which killed me!
After a week or so he would state things about my past saying that he has nothing special with me as i have been married before, engaged efore had a child etc. I cant change my past. Now he has been saying because i was forced by my ex husband to sleep with another woman that he has the upper hand and i should do it for him otherwise he has the uppe hand.
After weeks of hearing this i agreed. So now im allowed to drink and the one time i have had a drink and got drunk with him (he doesnt drink at all) he told me to pull another woman so he could watch. I declined so we went straight home, went to bed and gave me the cold shoulder all night until he wanted sex.
* he thught i looked at some one else whilst i was shopping which i had not so he then for 4 hours looked at every girl that walked by checking them out. I finally had enough after finding it amusing and childish for an hour or so and asked for my car keys. He then left me stranded 25 miles from home at 8 at night. When i called him he told me i was taking the piss out of him being blind in one eye which i would never do. I had to get a taxi home costing 30 then he turned up at midnight waking me up checking my breath to see if id been drinking which i hadnt.
* tells me hes at work and come quietly into the house stading in the bathroom scaring me to death saing i look suspicios!
* Tells me that hes the best ill ever get and to go find someone like me as i dont mind being used and share my man. he knows and will prove himself right that ill get a drinker and get cheated on like always do.
* I got complimented at work and he has said cos someone gave me a compliment i must be close them and given them the wrong impression!

He would go out for an hour but be 4 hours late with his phone turned off. If i was still up when he came home i would be summonsed to bed and if i didnt go he would threaten to go home and not see me.
He tld me becuase i had watched porn in the past i was te reason why i was cheated on and i had to be held responsable cos i was too was too easy going.
Hes told me he wants all my tattoos removed i stated i would but not my sons initials,, he turned round and said if that was the case we were over.
Im at court as my sons doesnt see his father. He wanted it too go through the courts so i have done it his way. Now he wants him to have in-direct contact and if i say he will be custody as hes his dad im accused of still being in love with him!
I am not able to get legal aid so i will be repsresnting myself now he wants me to get a solicitor at his cost to try and stop him seeing him. I saifd it was a waste of money so again he finished with me telling me i should do as he says he is the boss!
Again i have agreed.
He went off in a huff for no reason ignored me all day so i went out and had a drink. He called me at 2am asking if id been drinking which i told him yes. He went to my house took all his things and then turned up where i was saying hed slet with my friends and they were gagging for it. I launched at him and hit him, he dragged me out of the car and left me in the middle of the street on the floor heart broken.
Now he has said to leave him, why cant i theres so much more thats happened but im gutted.
Please help!! x
Hey Missy---

your post is very likely to get lost in the shuffle because you tacked it on to the end of someone else's thread.

You'll get more attention ,input, and help if you start a new thread under your name.

You might be able to copy and paste what you've typed so far, or maybe the mods can move it for you.

if you go back the the main page for the abuse section, look on the upper left hand side, there's a little box that says, "new thread". Just click on it, and a screen will come up where you type your story (or copy and paste).

Best wishes~FS
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Old 3rd December 2010, 3:51 AM   #154
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...ok...it's me again....
i just heard that he got ENGAGED!!!! he could not have known her that long....BUT anyway.....WHY DOES THIS UPSET ME????? it makes me feel sad...and i can't figure out why...any info friends?????
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Old 10th December 2010, 8:52 PM   #155
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be cause you're still attached don't worry you will find better.
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Old 10th December 2010, 10:34 PM   #156
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I would say to myself 'good luck to them (and her)'. For the record do not under any circumstances befriend this woman if you happen to meet her, not because you might feel she is a threat, but because when she works out that he is emotionally abusive she will be on your doorstep telling you all the gory details.

Please just take care of YOU.
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Old 13th December 2010, 3:00 PM   #157
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My first boyfriend, also a ten year relationship, got married a short while ago. I told him I was happy for him and hope he treats her better than he did me. He says he has changed. Haven't met her or seen him in a while. It remains best that I avoid him and wish him the best sincerely.
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