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The size of my dating pool. Based on my own and other peoples filters.


Mrlonelyone

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I have had a few threads that end up being about the problems that crop up when I tell someone I am a physicist.

 

They withdraw and react negatively. I think that at least half the time it's based on their religious faith.

 

It's a real problem because it seems to me that it really cuts down my dating pool by a great deal.

 

Let's call D the total number of people who are not married or engaged and of legal age to be theoretically date able at some point in the near future. d will be the number who are left after I introduce myself.

 

My work offends the deeply religious young earth creationist. Half of all Americans are young earth creationist. d=1/2D

 

Then factor in things that I have decided I need in order to be able to have a lasting relationship. After much agonizing and bad dates with people who did not fit these guidelines....

 

They have to have to be about as intelligent and creative as I am, and/or about as educated as I am. If they aren't one of those two things then it never works out.

 

So I will use the imperfect measure that is IQ as a stand in for intelligence and creativity just for the sake of this argument. About 16% of people are comparable to me in that department give or take 15 points.

 

About 40% of Americans have a Bachelors degree or better.

 

Averaging these two things thats 0.28 of Americans are intellectually compatible with me.

 

d=0.28(1/2 D)

 

Now lets consider my sexual orientation and gender identity. What number of people are apt to accept that? Well I think that percentages of people that favor gay marriage or civil unions are a good indication of that. According to that about 27% support Civil Unions and 1/3 support marriage. So that's a factor of .6

 

d=.6(.28(.5D))

 

Of course they need to be unmarried unmarried according to the census as being D that means my dating pool consist of.

 

d=.52(.6(.28(.5D)))

 

IF I take the number of people between the age of 25 and 35. D=62 Million

 

d=.52(.6(.28(.5(62Million))))

 

My dating pool consist of 2.7 Million people spread out over the entire United States of America. That's 2.7 out of 307 Million people. Or one out of every 100 people (male and female)

 

 

So in a crowd of several hundred there will be two or three that I have a legit chance of having a RLShip with. The odds are against me meeting such a person unless I make an effort to really mix with EVERYONE in such a crowd. Even the most socially skilled and thickest skinned would be worn down by the amount of rejection that would take.

 

Notice someone just like me who is not a scientist has twice the odds of meeting someone compatible as I do simply based on the religion factor alone.

 

I did not count the people who are averse to scientist for other reasons.

2 Comments


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SummersEve

Posted (edited)

I love the logic of it, mathematically figuring out your odds of dating success.

 

I just notice this journal section, and since there's a form here for comments I'm assuming input is wanted?

 

I'm married but otherwise would probably have a good idea of what your pool generally thinks. As a woman, I've got to tell you I think your estimation that being a physicist was a minus was way, way off. I don't think religion is the point and I think a religious woman could easily co-exist with your profession. Let me tell you something, an accomplished man equals a drop dead gorgeous woman. In my opinion, there's just no way that's anything but a gigantic plus for you in the dating pool. It seems to me likely that you are somehow misinterpreting the women's reactions or the reason for rejection.

 

If I read your post correctly, you were saying you're bisexual but would choose a woman over a man in order to have a family, etc.? Now I do agree with your estimation of that, that's what would be the minus to me (I am assuming here that a lot of other women would feel the same way but I have no way of checking that out). Since it's so much nicer to be straight than gay in our society, I would be suspicious that a bisexual man actually leaned more or totally to the gay side, but was making himself lean my way only because there were so many other advantages to it. I would be waiting for the other shoe to drop, for him to decide, perhaps after I had children with him and all the novelty wore off, that he was going back to the other camp. Not because I'm against gayness though. I just am not bisexual myself and therefore leery of that unknown factor.

 

Also, I am not sure your odds are signifantly lower than anyone else's. Although it might often look like many people are not at all picky, lol, I think they are often actually going on rather specific preferences of their own even though they would seem illogical to others. For example, they may not require education but would only be attracted to tough guys or busty women or partiers or whatever.

 

I wonder if you might need help getting to your one percent in a more efficient manner. Perhaps join a dating site or two and list those things to maximize chances that any dates you do have are with the right people. Also, joining activities and groups that attract intelligent liberals, if that's the right name. I'm not sure what those would be exactly though.

 

Also, very importantly, do you think there are any changes you could make to increase the number of women in your pool who are interested in you? While surface things are not important in the long run, I think they are what gets you noticed so that there will be a long run.

 

How is your look? Do you work out, pay attention to clothes, hair, cologne? Do you come across friendly and interested in the woman? Not too mild and perhaps with a touch of bad boy, fun? Are you a good listener? Do you show a girl a good time? In other words, do you have your mating feathers on, and do you have any game?

 

Here's what I think is the most important statistic to remember: All you need is one.

 

If you want more specific womanly advice, ask away, and good luck to you.

 

 

 

 

 

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Edited by SummersEve
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Mrlonelyone

Posted

Thankyou for the reply.

 

The problem with your concerns over bisexuality are that gay men have simmilar concerns.

 

As afraid as you would be that I am just gay

 

They would be afraid that I would be just straight.

 

So people who can't imagine that I could be attracted to both the softness's of a woman and hardness's of a man need not apply. :shrug:

 

As for dating websites I already do that.

 

As for what it would take to make women more interested in me. I already pay plenty of attention to clothes and cleanliness and all of that.

 

Remember to be successfully bisexual means being able to attract members of both sex's. That takes a very good and universally physically attractive look. (See David Bowie for an example).

 

I am at a point where I do not want to make and could not make any significant changes. This is how I am take it or leave it. If people decide to leave it then I would rather just be left.

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