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Do women who are very successful have difficulty dating


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 15th April 2019, 1:07 PM   #106
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Originally Posted by mark clemson View Post
Frugality becomes for some a lifestyle/philosophy more than a true economic need. As does eating at sushi places and dropping a few K on a spur-of-the-moment weekend trip regularly.
Mark I think you’re right about many men liking to feel like providers. Mostly the doctor/dentist/lawyer types are looking for younger women. The self aware men you speak of are kind of unicorns!!

My foster son is part of my package, and will be in my life and heart forever, although he may not always live with me. His bio family are going through some programs/therapy/trainings to try to re-integrate the children back into the home at some point with a lot of support. However I will always be mom #2 to this young man as long as I’m alive. I love him as my own.

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Old 16th April 2019, 8:07 PM   #107
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Hi June , I’d be happy covering holidays and nice gifts but I wouldn’t be up for subsidising a man’s whole life. I’d also be happy to do activities affordable for both parties.
I do think it's necessary to draw a line when it comes to a young relationship. Before I met my ex-gf, I had made plans to go back to my hometown over Christmas Break, stay with my mother and spend time with family and friends that were coming into town. I had not intention spending a great deal of money on this little trip: the gas down, the gas back, a few meals, a movie, etc..

My ex-gf wanted to come with me but my mother doesn't do "visitors" (long story). I explained this to my ex-gf and asked that she put away some money so that we could share the costs of the trip as we were now going to have to get a hotel room for five nights and we were going to be eating out a whole lot more.

Her financial situation was tight and she couldn't come up with any money. I wanted her to come with me but doing so would have meant dipping deep into my savings; I was looking at spending over a grand between the hotel room, meals, gas, entertainment, etc.. This wasn't something that I was willing to do when I had only been dating someone for a few months. So, I went down without her. I cut the trip short so that I could come back and spend New Years Eve and Day with her.

I would have been kosher if she could have covered a quarter-third of the costs but she couldn't. It upset her (rightfully so) and we had a heated discussion about it but I simply couldn't justify using my substantial portion of my savings to cover the entire cost of the trip. A trip that I had planned before we met and meant to keep is inexpensive as possible.

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Old 17th April 2019, 6:00 AM   #108
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I understand what you are explaining Oates.

In my situation itís a bit different, I would have been able to cover the Christmas trip, but as you say early in the relationship things can be awkward.
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Old 18th April 2019, 12:55 AM   #109
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Hi, PLB -

You've mentioned that about the D/L/D types before and I think it's true/relatively common. There will be exceptions too, though. Not sure about unicorns - I don't think self aware guys are actually that rare, but possibly they are a bit less likely to end up single. Why give one up if you've got one?

Of course your foster son will always be special. I certainly hope he's always part of your life! I think the key is to keep at it/play a numbers game until you hit one of these guys who's right for you. "Settling" for a socioeconomic peer who is into you, if you should happen across one, should also remain an open option I would think.

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Old 18th April 2019, 10:12 AM   #110
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I've learned to downplay my career status in the early dating stages, unfortunately. I try to avoid the job conversation for the most part but the fellows keep pushing for details, then they almost (not all, but many) visibly close off when I share what I do. It's almost like they're silently doing the salary calculation and comparison right then and there. Or maybe they're just not feeling the 'click' LOL.

Onwards and upwards
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Old 18th April 2019, 12:28 PM   #111
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I've learned to downplay my career status in the early dating stages, unfortunately.
I understand why you do that as a tactic but I earned my position and if someone asks me, whilst I won’t brag about it I sure wouldn’t minimise or downplay my role or career accomplishments.

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Old 18th April 2019, 2:28 PM   #112
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I've learned to downplay my career status in the early dating stages, unfortunately.
You've worked hard for your status and shouldn't downplay it for anyone much less to get a man. He will find out anyway so what's the point. Why not just date men who are on the same level as you career wise?

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Old 19th April 2019, 10:58 PM   #113
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Couple of things.
But funny, l downplay my mind and perception, had to at first or it's too much.
But on this matter , hope l didn't already mention it in this thread, but l have a very wealthy mate that hides everything, says he had too,
Dresses down drives down won't take someone new back to his main place.
Apparently it's always been a huge issue for him. He was married for years but he's ex was wealthy too so it didn't matter. So he's only been out there again 2yrs.
Says until he meets the right one that's the way it's gotta be.
Last l heard he chatted up some woman in a mall and it's been going really well.
Just sayin , make of it what you do,
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