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Online dating profile review [updated: profile review v2]


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Old 7th January 2018, 4:36 PM   #1
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Online dating profile review [updated: profile review v2]

I took at a look at my current profile and it looks too much like a business resume or college application. I started again from scratch and tried to be more casual and make it shorter. I've noticed most of the women's profiles I look at have pretty short descriptions. I also changed up my pictures. Any feedback would be appreciated.

Welcome to my profile! Here’s a bit about me

I’m a business owner, gentleman, enthusiast of many different areas including Waffles, Disney, photography, tennis, and cars. Supportive son, grandson, and brother. Definitely try my best to not take things too seriously and enjoy every moment. When possible I really enjoy traveling and go hiking in the summer and skiing in the winter. I’m also pretty active as far as exercising and when I get a break really enjoy comedies as well as action shows and movies.

Last edited by max3732; 7th January 2018 at 4:40 PM..
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Old 7th January 2018, 4:43 PM   #2
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It's okay to me. It's pretty generic and just a list of your interests, so it's not really going to wow anyone but if they share your interests you might get a few points from it
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Old 7th January 2018, 4:52 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by max3732 View Post
Iím a business owner, gentleman, enthusiast of many different areas including Waffles, Disney, photography, tennis, and cars. Supportive son, grandson, and brother. Definitely try my best to not take things too seriously and enjoy every moment. When possible I really enjoy traveling and go hiking in the summer and skiing in the winter. Iím also pretty active as far as exercising and when I get a break really enjoy comedies as well as action shows and movies.
It's OK. The writing style is casual. Personally the bad grammar bothers me but I'm odd. I'd revise as follows especially to lose the part about being a supportive son; it reads like your new GF will come after your family of origin all the time. Try this instead:
As a gentlemen business owner with an entrepreneurial spirit, I enjoy photography, tennis, cars, waffles & Disney, I try not to take things too seriously and enjoy every moment. When possible I really enjoy traveling. I exercise regularly, go hiking in the summer and skiing in the winter. When I get a break, I can be found watching comedies as well as action shows and movies.
Best wishes in your search. As a first cheap date consider inviting a woman on a hike or to play tennis.
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Old 7th January 2018, 5:01 PM   #4
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lol that and the capitalization of waffles bothered me as well, but I think some people care about that stuff and some don't and for the most part, those people find each other.
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Old 7th January 2018, 5:44 PM   #5
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I thought Waffles must be the name of a local establishment? But you guys think it is the food?
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Old 7th January 2018, 5:51 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Maggie4 View Post
I thought Waffles must be the name of a local establishment? But you guys think it is the food?
Haha, I thought it was just food, too.

I would also leave out "I don't take myself too seriously." EVERYONE says that. I like the idea of enjoying the moment, but more with regard to trying to see the positive and not dwell on the negative.
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Old 7th January 2018, 6:00 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
It's OK. The writing style is casual. Personally the bad grammar bothers me but I'm odd. I'd revise as follows especially to lose the part about being a supportive son; it reads like your new GF will come after your family of origin all the time. Try this instead:
As a gentlemen business owner with an entrepreneurial spirit, I enjoy photography, tennis, cars, waffles & Disney, I try not to take things too seriously and enjoy every moment. When possible I really enjoy traveling. I exercise regularly, go hiking in the summer and skiing in the winter. When I get a break, I can be found watching comedies as well as action shows and movies.
Speaking of bad grammar, why does the final statement suddenly become passive? Or is that the odd part you were referring to?
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Old 7th January 2018, 6:10 PM   #8
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I have a theory that people describe in the profile, the person they strive to be. Sometimes, what they want to be is actually the opposite of who they are.

In this profile, I don't think it's that extreme. The OP is probably a responsible gentleman. I'm getting the feel he is in fact quite serious, but he is trying not to be. I'm not sure if that's a good idea. There will be women who like serious.

Also, he doesn't hike, travel and ski as much as he would like to. I believe he exercises, though. If the photo is good, this profile will do.

Btw, I'd get rid of the waffles. Try substitute pancake or toast, and if profile no longer works, then waffles won't work either.
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Old 7th January 2018, 6:14 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
It's OK. The writing style is casual. Personally the bad grammar bothers me but I'm odd. I'd revise as follows especially to lose the part about being a supportive son; it reads like your new GF will come after your family of origin all the time. Try this instead:
As a gentlemen business owner with an entrepreneurial spirit, I enjoy photography, tennis, cars, waffles & Disney, I try not to take things too seriously and enjoy every moment. When possible I really enjoy traveling. I exercise regularly, go hiking in the summer and skiing in the winter. When I get a break, I can be found watching comedies as well as action shows and movies.
Best wishes in your search. As a first cheap date consider inviting a woman on a hike or to play tennis.
Bad grammar tends to bother me too. I revised it a few times and didn't proof read before posting. Sorry about that.

Thanks for the revision
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Old 7th January 2018, 6:16 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Iseult View Post
Speaking of bad grammar, why does the final statement suddenly become passive? Or is that the odd part you were referring to?
Good catch! I think I've been looking at the computer screen too long.
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Old 7th January 2018, 6:18 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Maggie4 View Post

Btw, I'd get rid of the waffles. Try substitute pancake or toast, and if profile no longer works, then waffles won't work either.
hahah.

I can see your point. It says he doesn't like to take things too seriously, but the writing is just contrived enough to suggest he does. Not necessarily a bad thing

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 7th January 2018 at 6:21 PM..
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Old 7th January 2018, 6:21 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Maggie4 View Post
I have a theory that people describe in the profile, the person they strive to be. Sometimes, what they want to be is actually the opposite of who they are.

In this profile, I don't think it's that extreme. The OP is probably a responsible gentleman. I'm getting the feel he is in fact quite serious, but he is trying not to be. I'm not sure if that's a good idea. There will be women who like serious.

Also, he doesn't hike, travel and ski as much as he would like to. I believe he exercises, though. If the photo is good, this profile will do.

Btw, I'd get rid of the waffles. Try substitute pancake or toast, and if profile no longer works, then waffles won't work either.
Wow, that's pretty good. I didn't get a chance to hike this past year and haven't skied yet. In previous years I've gone hiking and skiing for months.

What's the difference between putting pancakes, toast, or waffles? The reason I put it in was to have something funny that would stand out a bit more than saying things like photography and cars.

When I get nervous I become pretty serious, which has happened to me on dates before. With friends and family I like to be funny and do jokes. I think with a beautiful woman that I like in front of me sometimes I become too afraid to offend her.
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Old 7th January 2018, 6:34 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by max3732 View Post
When I get nervous I become pretty serious, which has happened to me on dates before. With friends and family I like to be funny and do jokes. I think with a beautiful woman that I like in front of me sometimes I become too afraid to offend her.
This. is very genuine. If a man is confident enough to put this in a profile, he'd really stand out. How many men out there are aware of their feelings and not afraid to be vulnerable?

Ok, fine, keep the Waffles
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Old 7th January 2018, 6:54 PM   #14
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How about, I gentleman, enthusiast of many different areas including Waffles, Disney, photography, tennis, and cars. Supportive son, grandson, and brother. Definitely try my best to not take things too seriously and enjoy every moment. When possible I really enjoy traveling and go hiking in the summer and skiing in the winter. Iím also pretty active as far as exercising and when I get a break really enjoy comedies as well as action shows and movies.[/QUOTE]

You would be an ideal match for someone enthusiast about Waffles.
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Old 7th January 2018, 8:07 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Simple Logic View Post
How about, I gentleman, enthusiast of many different areas including Waffles, Disney, photography, tennis, and cars. Supportive son, grandson, and brother. Definitely try my best to not take things too seriously and enjoy every moment. When possible I really enjoy traveling and go hiking in the summer and skiing in the winter. Iím also pretty active as far as exercising and when I get a break really enjoy comedies as well as action shows and movies.
You would be an ideal match for someone enthusiast about Waffles.[/QUOTE]

I really wish I hadn't capitalized that word.
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