OM with divorced MW

[oyster]

Seven years isnt that bad.

 

Isnt it funny though that it doesnt seem to phase anyone when a man is involved with someone 7-10 years younger, but woman worry about the guy being younger.

 

My soon to be DMW is 5 years older then me.

 

if you think this forum is not enough mental stimulation, there are forums dedicated to Older woman / younger men!!!

 

I just believe in the path of life, I met her, compatible on all fronts minus the attached status.

 

I am young, successful, ok looking, got house, car, emotionally matured. Nice catch for other woman. So initially older woman scratch their head why younger man are attracted to them.

[oyster]

7 years is nothing! I thought you were talking like 15 or something.

For years it's always been older men, younger women...And now I see many older woman (AKA Cougars) with younger men. And I'm talking like 15-20 year age gaps!

my buddy married a woman older by 14 years. still married.

 

only regrets is no kids for obvious reasons

[bonehead]

if you think this forum is not enough mental stimulation, there are forums dedicated to Older woman / younger men!!!

 

I just believe in the path of life, I met her, compatible on all fronts minus the attached status.

 

I am young, successful, ok looking, got house, car, emotionally matured. Nice catch for other woman. So initially older woman scratch their head why younger man are attracted to them.

 

and wonder why you dont want someone younger

[oyster]

and wonder why you dont want someone younger

age is a number, compatibility on (communication, chemistry, sexual, emotional support, emotional maturity and intelligence) is more important than age.

 

there will always be yonger woman, woman with more money, woman with better bodies, etc but it all boils down to finding happiness without the drama.

[bonehead]

7 years is nothing! I thought you were talking like 15 or something.

Yup, sleep is good and hopefully after I take afew more advil, sleep will happen! (Not sure what the limit is a day, but I'm already at 8 for today)

 

Most OTC pain meds are 6-8 in 24 hours by the dose chart, but you have to take ALOT more then that to hit toxic levels.

 

For years it's always been older men, younger women...And now I see many older woman (AKA Cougars) with younger men. And I'm talking like 15-20 year age gaps!

 

I really cant see myself with a younger woman. I want the maturity level of someone who has been through life and grown. Knows where they want to be and how to get there.

[Can'tGiveUp]

Hey, thanks guys! New perspective on the whole age thing. My MM is a few years younger than me. But I also have a SG who bounces in and out of my life. He is having issues with age and kids. (he is 10 years younger) Not enough issues that he stays completely away though! Everytime he feels like he's getting too close, he disappears again.

[oyster]

Hey' date=' thanks guys! New perspective on the whole age thing. My MM is a few years younger than me. But I also have a SG who bounces in and out of my life. He is having issues with age and kids. (he is 10 years younger) Not enough issues that he stays completely away though! Everytime he feels like he's getting too close, he disappears again.[/quote']

 

no worries the community of OW (older woman) / YM (yonger man) is bigger than you think.

 

If age is the issue than it is a reason for the other person to break themselves from you.

 

YM are not all after a booty call, remember that.

 

One possible reason for his disapperarence is that he has not grasp the "Instant family" concept. Instant Noodle is way faster to digest!

 

YM often might be intimidated by the fact you have more asset and cash flow

[Can'tGiveUp]

To be honest you are right - he has said it is more the kids. I think I'm the one with more issues with the age difference. At least we talk about it and when he 'disappears' I know what he is struggling with now.

[oyster]

To be honest you are right - he has said it is more the kids. I think I'm the one with more issues with the age difference. At least we talk about it and when he 'disappears' I know what he is struggling with now.

 

if you want to know about age, what you are feeling and concerns are typical of other OW, pm me or msn me if you want link to other forum for age gap

[Can'tGiveUp]

Thanks for the offer but the age issue is not with MM - our few years difference doesn't impact us.

 

SG is from before (sort of - complicated story there ) and just keeps popping back into my life every once in a while. And even if he did manage to make up his mind about kids etc... there are bigger obstacles (like MM).

 

Thanks though!

[ratingsguy]

My MW is 15 years older than me (I'm 31 and she's 46). Unless she's hiding it really well, it doesn't bother her one bit. She is not afraid to be affectionate in public, either. That used to bother me at first (although I would never say anything), but then I considered that since the age difference didn't bother me, the PDAs shouldn't either.

 

My buddies used to tell me that older women is "where it's at" and I never gave it much thought. But when someone loves you for you (A aside for the moment) age should be irrellevant. My only hesistation now about a situation like that is not being able to have kids (or limited time anyway) as another poster pointed out. But there are tradeoffs in everything in life I suppose.

[oyster]

My MW is 15 years older than me (I'm 31 and she's 46). Unless she's hiding it really well, it doesn't bother her one bit. She is not afraid to be affectionate in public, either. That used to bother me at first (although I would never say anything), but then I considered that since the age difference didn't bother me, the PDAs shouldn't either.

 

My buddies used to tell me that older women is "where it's at" and I never gave it much thought. But when someone loves you for you (A aside for the moment) age should be irrellevant. My only hesistation now about a situation like that is not being able to have kids (or limited time anyway) as another poster pointed out. But there are tradeoffs in everything in life I suppose.

 

we can relate!!!, I'm 32 /MW39. For the kid thing, you can try in-vitro pregnancy. My cousin was born from that technology. Cost is $20,000 for 4 tries

 

Does her husband know about the Affair and the fact you are yonger?

[ratingsguy]

Does her husband know about the Affair and the fact you are yonger?

 

My MW thinks he does, but also suspects that the H doesn't care. He seems more interested in having the trophy wife to impress his country club buddies and keep an "image". They essentially lead separate lives in the same house, seldom interacting. If he does know, I'd love to know specifically why he doesn't care anymore.

[oyster]

My MW thinks he does, but also suspects that the H doesn't care. He seems more interested in having the trophy wife to impress his country club buddies and keep an "image". They essentially lead separate lives in the same house, seldom interacting. If he does know, I'd love to know specifically why he doesn't care anymore.

 

funny, my MW hubby knew, got info on me, could not care for 1st month then he got mad after 2nd month, we got together for 6-7 months, now he feels lonely and can't find better (never lived on his own before so if he divorce it is going to be brutal). Apparently he changed for the better just because of me. I wish I can send him a therapy bill and put a lien on the house haha.

 

He only care to get her back because he lost control on her and I was first guy who successfully seduce her away from him.

 

I let her go when she asked to break up with me, she needs time for the guilt to go and give him a 2nd chance so he can see that without me in the picture that it would still not work between them.

 

Anyhow, 31 day countdown, will keep you posted of my OM status.

 

 

In your case, I think it is simple

1- Why divorce when you will have to forfeit half of your pay check (cash flow) to your EX. Then he would have no extra cash for his mistress and girlfriends.

2- Why leave confort home when you don't need too

3- Keep a "wife" so you can appear normal in your social network. "yes, I am married, wife is at home where she belongs..."

4- Don't want to come home to empty house

[oyster]

Ok so me and the MW are under NC till mid January.

 

Should I bother sending her an electronic Christmas card via email and one for New years?

[BeenAround_N_Back]

I thought NC means NO CONTACT within any means, even cyberspace included?? I would say stick to your word - NC. Don't budge now.

[bonehead]

Ok so me and the MW are under NC till mid January.

 

Should I bother sending her an electronic Christmas card via email and one for New years?

 

You set the time, stick to it.

[milvushina]

Ok let's do a row call here. How many OM who met a MW, had a relationship and the MW actually initiated seperation and divorce.

 

Let's here your stories.

 

Thanks

 

I was going to tell our story, but it would be long. So I will just say I really married the wrong butthole. After a couple of years I finally drug him to therapy by threatening divorce and nothing we did could change his horrendous behavior. So a few months later I met and became friends with my "other man." He wasn't my OM very long. We had an "emotional affair" for a few weeks, then we slept together. Right after that I told my husband we were getting divorced and gave him 2 weeks to find a new place. I let him clean me out financially. And I filed for divorce.

So then my OM was my boyfriend, and he invited me to move in with him. I took him up on it, since all I really owned then was books, dishes, clothes and a record player...haha. Then he asked me to marry him last Xmas, we have been married almost for a year.

 

Seriously- we had trust issues at first, or at least I did. I thought I must have given him a horrible impression and didn't see how he trusted me. He seemed to be more okay with the whole thing and felt my ex H deserved it. I think he did too, but normally I am in the habit of treating people with more dignity than they deserve.

But... I already had signed divorce papers in my mind before we ever were together, I didn't waste any time, no lollygagging around sleeping with both of them. Or waiting until I was sure the other guy even wanted something serious before getting rid of the ex husband. Not being able to stand the guy was a good enough reason for divorce. And the infidelity was like the last straw.

A lot of people will think we have not been together long enough for our story to matter. But I think my chances are a lot better with him than someone I met when I was 19. It just started off kind of funky. But, I also think that the "31-day countdown" is a good idea.

That MW is older than me, I was only 25 when I upheaved my entire life, but really it's not going to kill you, people do it every day and unless you're a big wimp or have kids to take care of, there is no real reason to dick around for years before you make your mind up. IMO.

[oyster]

I wonder what is going in the MW mind and life during those 31 days?

[bonehead]

I wonder what is going in the MW mind and life during those 31 days?

 

You have no idea, and you cant have any idea.

 

Just let it be for a little while. 31 days isnt that long. Let her figure out her life.

 

Relax, reflect, do some soul searching of your own.

[oyster]

I was on msn with someone and they said "she is married, what is the point of calling her".

 

Food for thought during my 31 days of NC.

[ratingsguy]

YM often might be intimidated by the fact you have more asset and cash flow

 

This is very true. My MW is very wealthy and it does make me feel inadequate at times that I only make a fraction of what she does. She has told me numerous times that money means nothing to her, and I do believe her. But can she survive a lifestyle change after not being able to share her H's income as well? That I'm unsure about.

 

Thanks for the insight, oyster. If I'm in the shoes of my MW's H, I can understand how he would want to remain married even if he has no feelings left for his wife. I think the loss of stability and image would be killer for him... even moreso than the alimony if you can believe that.

 

By the way, good luck with the NC. To answer your earlier question, I think NC over Christmas makes a HUGE statement on your part. Will it be difficult? Of course it will! But in the long run, if you stick to your guns, she will see how serious you are about a future R. Hopefully I'll have the balls to do something like this if my situation doesn't change. Good luck, brother!

 

So much for this being a short thread! lol

[oyster]

Thanks for the insight, oyster. If I'm in the shoes of my MW's H, I can understand how he would want to remain married even if he has no feelings left for his wife. I think the loss of stability and image would be killer for him... even moreso than the alimony if you can believe that.

 

So much for this being a short thread! lol

 

I did lot of reflection, thinking 360, makes sense why people won't divorce. About image, can you believe her hubby asked her to tell him where she would meet me so he can avoid the area, apparently he can't see her with me, it would kill him.

 

I told her if she tells him, I won't see her. He is probably trying to figure out where we meet so one day he can come down for an ass whopping confrontation.

 

 

I deleted her number from my cell phone and her friends too. So I can't mis-dial her nor her friends. That is what happens when you shoot the shiat with a buddy over pints of beer.

[ratingsguy]

About image, can you believe her hubby asked her to tell him where she would meet me so he can avoid the area, apparently he can't see her with me, it would kill him.

 

Wow. Sounds to me that the H doesn't have much respect for his W's intelligence.

 

I told her if she tells him, I won't see her. He is probably trying to figure out where we meet so one day he can come down for an ass whopping confrontation.

 

I'm with you on that. I've been double checking my front door at night to make sure it's locked for fear that someone will break in and pop me in the head. But that's almost entirely paranoia.

 

I deleted her number from my cell phone and her friends too. So I can't mis-dial her nor her friends. That is what happens when you shoot the shiat with a buddy over pints of beer.

 

With regards to shooting the shiat with buddies at the ale house, been there, done that and got the t-shirt! I know I'm a dangerous man with a cellphone when I've been drinking...!

[GreenEyedLady]

Thanks for the insight, oyster. If I'm in the shoes of my MW's H, I can understand how he would want to remain married even if he has no feelings left for his wife. I think the loss of stability and image would be killer for him... even moreso than the alimony if you can believe that. /quote]

 

I read this and I totallly agree that this is a reason a lot of people DON'T divorce...In my personal case my XH wanted to present the facade that he was the perfect dad, husband and really he was gay...but with the W and kids set-up, no one would be the wiser...

 

However, I am wondering in your case, how would the H feel about his image if it's found out that his W is carrying on an A? (and he knows about it right? Or is that someone else?)