Author Ross_K Posted September 26, 2006 Author Share Posted September 26, 2006 Hey whichwayisup. No, I haven't started therapy yet. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 I think once you, and get used to it, things will change in your life for the better. Are you on a waiting list still? Or just in the process of finding someone? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross_K Posted September 26, 2006 Author Share Posted September 26, 2006 I'm still on the waiting list. I'm anxious about CBT, hopefully when the time comes my meds will be working better or I'll be on a med that works good. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 If you found a guy physically unattractive, but he was really confident, would you be attracted to him? Absolutely! Learned my lesson a year ago. I met this guy. Initially, he wanted to date me. I wasn't attracted to him much, so I just opted for friendship. Well, we stayed friends for about a year, and the more I got to know him...the more I fell for him HAaaaRD! Wow. Awesome guy. Man of my freakin' dreams. Still got a thing for him. When I told him how I felt, he then rejected me. What!! Found out that he is pretty popular with the ladies. Not in a bad way. Just lots of women love his personality & wanted to date him. I think, at least that's the impression I got. Lesson learned!!...check! He had an awesome personality in the beginning...but, noooo I had to judge him by his looks. :rolleyes: Still kicking myself after all this time.... (He IM'd my daughter the other day asking her about me. Wonder why? But, haven't opened the lines of communication. Just too damn scared to get wrapped up in his charm again.) Wait, what was I talking about?? Oh yes, unattractive yet confident men are VERY attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 You have to genuinely believe that you're attractive to women and that vibe will help produce an air of confidence. Just don't overdo it or you come off as an arrogant prick. Yea, I agree...there is a fine line between being confident and being a prick. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Wait, what was I talking about?? Oh yes, unattractive yet confident men are VERY attractive. the attractive confident man will ALWAYS beat out the unattractive confident man...at least when it comes to chicks. Yea, I agree...there is a fine line between being confident and being a prick. that's a fine line few can actually walk. Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 the attractive confident man will ALWAYS beat out the unattractive confident man...at least when it comes to chicks. True, but what each woman finds "attractive" is different, and (for most women) a not as attractive, confident man paying attention to her will win out over a over a more attactive man who ignores her. Link to post Share on other sites
Ripples Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 To clarify, I wouldn't ask a friend to ask a woman to French kiss me now at my age. Thank <insert_deity_of_your_choice> for that! I thought from the way you said it, you still did that! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross_K Posted September 27, 2006 Author Share Posted September 27, 2006 Lol. I wonder why it's okay to do it when you're younger though but not okay when you're older? Could it be that teenagers have less confidence with the opposite sex which could make it more harder for them to connect on a romantic level, so they ask friends to ask the person they fancy? There's also the fact that teenagers don't really go out on dates (at least they don't where I used to live when I was a teenager myself). So that would put asking someone out for a date out of the question too. Link to post Share on other sites
Ripples Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 I guess its because an awful lot of young people don't have the confidence to bear rejection easily. When you're growing up you're finding out about who you are and because you don't have a firm grip on it, it's easily shaken. Mind you, I'd be worried if I had been asked out via a guy's friend if the guy was older than 16. Off topic, but it's a damn shame teenagers don't 'date' in some areas... Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 I wonder why it's okay to do it when you're younger though but not okay when you're older?You're expected to be more self-confident and assertive when you're older. Plus, you figure out that women LIKE you to be self-confident. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross_K Posted September 27, 2006 Author Share Posted September 27, 2006 I guess I'm going to have to do some research on 'believing in yourself and inherent worth', so I can find out what they mean and whether I posess these two qualities. And if I don't have them then I'm going to have to find out how to get them. What I have to do just to try and get a female to turn her head, eh? Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 the attractive confident man will ALWAYS beat out the unattractive confident man...at least when it comes to chicks. Well, how unattractive are we talking about here? I would much rather be swept off my feet by an unattractive man with an awesome personality. Than an attractive guy that is shallow and just wants to have sex. Also, I think it's interesting when an unattractive guy is on the arm of an attractive woman. I think that is love at it's best. Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 I guess I'm going to have to do some research on 'believing in yourself and inherent worth', so I can find out what they mean and whether I posess these two qualities. And if I don't have them then I'm going to have to find out how to get them. What I have to do just to try and get a female to turn her head, eh? If you have value yourself before you can expect others to value you. What are you good at? What do you enjoy? What gives you satisfaction? And you don't just want her to turn her head, you want her to turn her head and smile. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Look if you really want to get a girl to like you, buy one really nice outfit go to a great hang out in the city and tell the ladies your a writer, or a photographer, or some other glamerouse occupation such as doctor what ever you want. and then take them back to their place and do stuff there. You could make fake business cards and a book you didnt write. Now if thats not working for you just pertend every girl likes you and hit on any one you like and dont mention how your bad with girls or ask them if they think your attractive, or complain about anything. Just hit on any girl you could see yourself with and before you know it you'll have one and if you get rejected just shrug it off it happens to the best of us. Oh and if you actualy get a girls number and dates and stuff dont be to much of a puss to try to get physical with them you know plant one of them snogs or what ever on the first date and try to touch them on the first meeting like a long hand shake or a hug or something. And try not to think about girls so much, who cares if they like confident men or not just think about yourself and what you want and about making some kind of life for yourself better than the one you seem to have now. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Look if you really want to get a girl to like you, buy one really nice outfit go to a great hang out in the city and tell the ladies your a writer, or a photographer, or some other glamerouse occupation Yea, like a Navy fighter pilot. *sigh* Went to a Blue Angels Airshow this past weekend. The way those pilots walked around was unbelievable. They wer very polite & nice, yet confident as hell. Who says ya gotta be a jerk to get a girl? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Yea, like a Navy fighter pilot. *sigh* Went to a Blue Angels Airshow this past weekend. The way those pilots walked around was unbelievable. They wer very polite & nice, yet confident as hell. Who says ya gotta be a jerk to get a girl? The one's who are insecure about being themselves around women. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 The one's who are insecure about being themselves around women. True, Riddler! Those Navy pilots & Army soldiers just weakened my knees. I'd hop into bed in a *second* with any one of those guys! Haha! No, seriously NOT kidding. Something about the way they present themselves. Goooo Army! Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 its long been known that having the ability to fly turns girls on atleast most of them. Telling them your a Navy Seal would also be a good one if your going to lie about being in the military but you are in the UK so you'd probably have to fake the american accent Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross_K Posted September 27, 2006 Author Share Posted September 27, 2006 If you have value yourself before you can expect others to value you. What are you good at? What do you enjoy? What gives you satisfaction? And you don't just want her to turn her head, you want her to turn her head and smile. I don't even know if I do value myself. I think I do. I'm good at video games and working out technical stuff. I enjoy video games, the internet, music, satalitte tv, working out and buying clothes that I really like. The thing that gives me satisfaction is achieving something really hard in a video game, and that's it I think. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross_K Posted September 27, 2006 Author Share Posted September 27, 2006 Look if you really want to get a girl to like you, buy one really nice outfit go to a great hang out in the city and tell the ladies your a writer, or a photographer, or some other glamerouse occupation such as doctor what ever you want. and then take them back to their place and do stuff there. You could make fake business cards and a book you didnt write. Now if thats not working for you just pertend every girl likes you and hit on any one you like and dont mention how your bad with girls or ask them if they think your attractive, or complain about anything. Just hit on any girl you could see yourself with and before you know it you'll have one and if you get rejected just shrug it off it happens to the best of us. Oh and if you actualy get a girls number and dates and stuff dont be to much of a puss to try to get physical with them you know plant one of them snogs or what ever on the first date and try to touch them on the first meeting like a long hand shake or a hug or something. And try not to think about girls so much, who cares if they like confident men or not just think about yourself and what you want and about making some kind of life for yourself better than the one you seem to have now. Not too sure if I could pull all that off, but I'll expand on this later. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 The thing that gives me satisfaction is achieving something really hard in a video game, and that's it I think. You're probably not going to want to lead with that. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Well, how unattractive are we talking about here? like 5'5", 250 lbs, acne-scared face and half-bald. probably a computer programmer by trade. I would much rather be swept off my feet by an unattractive man with an awesome personality. Than an attractive guy that is shallow and just wants to have sex. you really think I believe that LUVTOTO?? Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 You're probably not going to want to lead with that. Depends on the woman... Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 like 5'5", 250 lbs, acne-scared face and half-bald. probably a computer programmer by trade. you really think I believe that LUVTOTO?? Yea, I guess I did admit earlier today on another thread that I would've hopped in bed with those army guys this past weekend! Haha! BUT,...a great personality is an aphrodisiac with me. I am not talkin' butt ugly here!! Link to post Share on other sites
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