Some Q's for the women on here about confidence.

[maoserr]

You can become lost in a sea of anonymity in the US. It might just be a case of "grass is greener" on the other side of the pond. I know somebody that's dying to live in UK.

 

I'd prefer to stick to your roots, if you have them.

[Ross_K]

I don't really connect with my roots any more.

[Ross_K]

Looks like dgiirl, rabbit guy and Islandgirl have gone off to pick on someone else...

[SmoochieFace]

It's very rude. If you wanted to know what it meant, it would have taken you LESS time to actually google the word yourself, than to ask her, only to have her respond. Sometimes, your responses to people are so arrogant, selfish and uncourteous it's unbelievable. You dont go around telling people, I'm too lazy to look something up so you tell me. If you cannot help yourself, why do you expect others to help you?

 

A big fat WORD on that!

 

Ross, you really should consider working on your personality. I really do not think the issue is your 'looks'. The way you talk to people (especially those with whom you disagree) is certainly not up to scratch. Not saying that to offend you or anything... but really, man, you could use a heavy-duty overhaul in the personality and social skills departments.

 

Now...back to tending the bunny-rabbits...

[Ross_K]

A big fat WORD on that!

 

Ross, you really should consider working on your personality. I really do not think the issue is your 'looks'. The way you talk to people (especially those with whom you disagree) is certainly not up to scratch. Not saying that to offend you or anything... but really, man, you could use a heavy-duty overhaul in the personality and social skills departments.

 

Now...back to tending the bunny-rabbits...

 

If you look in this topic or the other one about being bullied you'll see I don't argue with people offline, besides, it's not me with the personality problem, it's you and the other two. I mean seriously, do you really think you can make friends going around with the attitude you have?

[SmoochieFace]

If you look in this topic or the other one about being bullied you'll see I don't argue with people offline, besides, it's not me with the personality problem, it's you and the other two. I mean seriously, do you really think you can make friends going around with the attitude you have?

 

You seem to argue with many people online - especially with those who give you advice that, for some reason, rubs you raw. You are only 'nice' with those who tell you only what you want to hear.

 

Sorry, Ross, but life isn't like that. You cannot expect to have everything your way. The 'my way or the highway' attitude will not get you far in life - socially and professionally. Perhaps your inability to compromise and accept that other people have differing views is what's hampering you now... as in why no women are interested in you and why you do not have a job.

 

I really am not sure why you are here, Ross. The vast majority of time when someone gives you advice you find something to complain about - whether it's the poster's 'style', sense of humour, etc. You seem to alienate those who wish to help you or even be friendly towards you. Why is that? Why do you push people away?

[Walk]

If you look in this topic or the other one about being bullied you'll see I don't argue with people offline, besides, it's not me with the personality problem, it's you and the other two. I mean seriously, do you really think you can make friends going around with the attitude you have?

 

Wow Ross... I have to agree with Smootch on this one. You have closed off possibilities. Limited yourself. You're attempting to shift the problem back to Smootch.

[Walk]

The trouble is, most of Britian comes across like this for me. And what's weird is most of America comes across as somewhere I'd feel right at home.

 

No matter where you go, there you are.

 

You're problems won't go away by changing scenary. You have to change the inner you. Then no matter where you are, you can always accomplish what needs to be done.

[Ross_K]

You seem to argue with many people online - especially with those who give you advice that, for some reason, rubs you raw. You are only 'nice' with those who tell you only what you want to hear.

 

See, I honestley don't know whether you really believe this stuff or if you're just purposley making it up.

 

No advice rubs me raw, unless it's told to me in an offensive way, and I'm not only nice with people who only tell me what to hear.

 

Sorry, Ross, but life isn't like that. You cannot expect to have everything your way.

 

I know life isn't like that and I don't expect to have everything my way.

 

The 'my way or the highway' attitude will not get you far in life - socially and professionally.

 

I don't have that attitude.

 

Perhaps your inability to compromise and accept that other people have differing views is what's hampering you now... as in why no women are interested in you and why you do not have a job.

 

I do compromise and accept that other people have differing views.

 

I really am not sure why you are here, Ross.

 

To get advice, and to just chat and find out what other people's opinions are.

 

The vast majority of time when someone gives you advice you find something to complain about - whether it's the poster's 'style', sense of humour, etc.

 

What do you mean by finding something to complain about? Complaining with the poster or talking about how the advice wont work for me?

 

You seem to alienate those who wish to help you or even be friendly towards you. Why is that? Why do you push people away?

 

I don't alienate those who wish to help me or be friendly towards me. And it's pretty hard to push someone away when they've pushed you away first with the tough love attitude.

[Ross_K]

Wow Ross... I have to agree with Smootch on this one. You have closed off possibilities. Limited yourself. You're attempting to shift the problem back to Smootch.

 

What possibilities have I closed off, how have I limited myself?

 

No, the problem is already with Smootch.

 

No matter where you go, there you are.

 

You're problems won't go away by changing scenary.

 

A lot of them will do.

 

You have to change the inner you.

 

Yeah, that's what I'm working on.

 

Then no matter where you are, you can always accomplish what needs to be done.

 

Not everything.

[Ariadne]

You have to change the inner you.

 

Yeah, that's what I'm working on.

 

Oh no!

 

Your inner you is perfect just like it is.

 

Ariadne

[SmoochieFace]

See, I honestley don't know whether you really believe this stuff or if you're just purposley making it up.

 

I call it the way I see it. Nothing is being 'made up'.

 

No advice rubs me raw, unless it's told to me in an offensive way, and I'm not only nice with people who only tell me what to hear.

 

Judging by your reaction to some of the advice you've been given, I beg to differ. You act as if you are 'offended' that someone would tell you something in a direct manner. Why is that? How do you define 'offensive' anyway?

 

I know life isn't like that and I don't expect to have everything my way.

 

I beg to differ once again.

 

I don't have that attitude.

 

Denial. Your posts speak volumes about your attitude. Look at that thread you started about the facial stuff... you really won over those who tried to give you tips.

 

I do compromise and accept that other people have differing views.

 

Sure.

 

To get advice, and to just chat and find out what other people's opinions are.

 

Then why do you contradict or 'put down' what some people say? What is the point of being on an advice site if you're going to react so defensively to the advice given to you?

 

What do you mean by finding something to complain about? Complaining with the poster or talking about how the advice wont work for me?

 

You seem to put down most of the advice given to you and you also resort to namecalling and accuse others of having 'issues' without acknowledging that YOU have issues. Quite arrogant and rude if you ask me.

 

I don't alienate those who wish to help me or be friendly towards me. And it's pretty hard to push someone away when they've pushed you away first with the tough love attitude.

 

If you look closely, no-one has 'pushed you away' first. Once you start calling people names and 'dissing' their advice in rude and condescending ways do people wish to no longer help you. People can only take so much crap being shoved in their faces.

 

I really don't know what else to tell you, Ross.

[SmoochieFace]

You have to change the inner you.

 

Yeah, that's what I'm working on.

 

Oh no!

 

Your inner you is perfect just like it is.

 

Ariadne

 

 

No-one is 'perfect'. Everyone has qualities that can be improved.

[crazy_grl]

No matter where you go, there you are.

 

You're problems won't go away by changing scenary. You have to change the inner you. Then no matter where you are, you can always accomplish what needs to be done.

 

I understand the logic behind this, but I don't completely agree. Growing up where almost no one shared my viewpoints and I felt completely alien was really pretty miserable. Moving to a place where I fit in has really changed things.

 

Of course, moving is not going to fix everything, but feeling like you belong can be a major factor in changing things for the better.

[SmoochieFace]

I understand the logic behind this, but I don't completely agree. Growing up where almost no one shared my viewpoints and I felt completely alien was really pretty miserable. Moving to a place where I fit in has really changed things.

 

Of course, moving is not going to fix everything, but feeling like you belong can be a major factor in changing things for the better.

 

I think, in this case, a simple move won't change anything. The basic personality and attitude issues will still be there regardless of location.

[Ross_K]

You have to change the inner you.

 

Yeah, that's what I'm working on.

 

Oh no!

 

Your inner you is perfect just like it is.

 

Ariadne

 

Thanks Ariadne.

 

But there are some things like low confidence, anxiety, negativity, etc, that I need to work on.

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

No-one is 'perfect'. Everyone has qualities that can be improved.

 

Ok, here's from a Taoist book of mine:

 

"Every human being's essential nature is perfect and faultless, but after years of immersion in the world we easily forget our roots and take on a counterfeit nature" Lao~Tzu

 

"One should not do violence to the way things naturally are, even from the desire to improve them. See that you don't try to lengthen a duck's feet or shorten a crane's legs. This would only cause them suffering, which is the characteristic if everything that is against Nature." Chuang~Tzu

 

"All things have their unique place in the universe. They fulfill their roles by being what they are" Lieh~Tzu

 

"Anything artificial is false and ineffective. Only what is natural is true and effective" Confucius

 

--------

 

And well, I agree

 

Ariadne

[Ross_K]

Why do rabbit guy's posts always turn up late? They always end up popping up in between posts.

 

I call it the way I see it. Nothing is being 'made up'.

 

Well, if this is how you seriously see things then you honestly need help. And no, I'm not being defencive here, I'm just calling it the way I see it.

 

Judging by your reaction to some of the advice you've been given, I beg to differ. You act as if you are 'offended' that someone would tell you something in a direct manner. Why is that? How do you define 'offensive' anyway?

 

Oh I act like that when someone is an ass with me, whether they're giving me advice or not, and, that's how I define offensive.

 

Denial. Your posts speak volumes about your attitude. Look at that thread you started about the facial stuff... you really won over those who tried to give you tips.

 

Or how about they really won over me who was just asking for help?

 

She was the one who started being nasty with me.

 

If she was in the right and I was in the wrong, then it's quite funny how I won the argument with her without putting spin on anything I was saying (which is something you always do)

 

Sure.

 

That was an intelligent response.

 

Then why do you contradict or 'put down' what some people say? What is the point of being on an advice site if you're going to react so defensively to the advice given to you?

 

How many times do you say this and how many times do I have to give you the same reply, read slowly, I don't react defensively to advice, only when someone is being an ass with me.

 

If not agreeing with someone, or saying why I can't do something, or why something wont work means I'm contradicting them or putting down what they say, then so be it. But if someone is getting mad and feels that they have to react defensivley towards me because their advice doesn't work then they obviously need help.

 

You seem to put down most of the advice given to you and you also resort to namecalling and accuse others of having 'issues' without acknowledging that YOU have issues. Quite arrogant and rude if you ask me.

 

Well, like I said, I can't help it if a lot of the advice wont work for me. If you'd rather me just agree with everything everyone says all the time, I will do.

 

I'd just like to say, you are the crappest spin master I've ever know, you're even worse than Bill O'Reily. What the hell do you think I've been talking about in this topic if I haven't been acknowledging I have issues?

 

Seems to me if someone get's pissed off, and decides to be an ass with me just because their advice didn't work that they have issues. I mean, do they build their self esteem on their advice giving skills, and lash out at those who say 'I'm sorry, but I wouldn't be able to do that, because...' or 'Yeah, but that wont work because...'

 

If you look closely, no-one has 'pushed you away' first.

 

No, you need to look closely, you, Island girl, dgiirl, Ripples, and a few others have pushed me away first. I mean, really, how hard is it for you to understand when someone is suddenly nasty towards me, when I've never done anything to them, just because I'm venting about my problems or their advice isn't suitable for my situation?

 

Once you start calling people names and 'dissing' their advice in rude and condescending ways do people wish to no longer help you.

 

The people who started being asses with me weren't helping me anyway. And it doesn't matter how many times you say it, it doesn't make it true, and I will just keep telling you the same thing again and againm I do not diss people's advice in rude and condescending ways.

 

People can only take so much crap being shoved in their faces.

 

Well then that's their own fault then isn't it? I can only take so much crap being shoved in my face too, I'm pretty surprised I haven't put any of you who've been bad towards me on my user block list yet, I mean, you're certainly toxic people.

 

I really don't know what else to tell you, Ross.

 

Well, I'm sure if you take a break from the computer, sit down and relax, you'll be bale to come up with another wealth of made up stuff, maybe you'll even be able to come up with 5 new ways of telling me how I 'diss' people when they try to help me by giving me advice.

[Ariadne]

Hi Ross,

 

But there are some things like low confidence, anxiety, negativity, etc, that I need to work on.

 

Well, the way I see it, you have lots of confidence, you are sensitive, so it's natural that you'd feel anxious in certain situations for whatever the reason, and negativity, well, that is well earned too.

 

Ariadne

[SmoochieFace]

Hey,

 

No-one is 'perfect'. Everyone has qualities that can be improved.

 

Ok, here's from a Taoist book of mine:

 

"Every human being's essential nature is perfect and faultless, but after years of immersion in the world we easily forget our roots and take on a counterfeit nature" Lao~Tzu

 

"One should not do violence to the way things naturally are, even from the desire to improve them. See that you don't try to lengthen a duck's feet or shorten a crane's legs. This would only cause them suffering, which is the characteristic if everything that is against Nature." Chuang~Tzu

 

"All things have their unique place in the universe. They fulfill their roles by being what they are" Lieh~Tzu

 

"Anything artificial is false and ineffective. Only what is natural is true and effective" Confucius

 

--------

 

And well, I agree

 

Ariadne

 

I suppose this is your way of saying that people do not 'need' to change, right?

 

No-one is doing 'violence' to anyone here so I don't see how the second quote applies here.

 

Hey, that may be cool for you but I don't subscribe to Taoism. Just doesn't resonate with me. Sorry.

[Ross_K]

 

No-one is 'perfect'. Everyone has qualities that can be improved.

 

See, there's that attitude again. How can you expect to make any friends on here when you're like that. I'm sorry, but saying I need to improve my social skills certainly is the pot calling the kettle black.

[SmoochieFace]

Why do rabbit guy's posts always turn up late? They always end up popping up in between posts.

 

 

 

Well, if this is how you seriously see things then you honestly need help. And no, I'm not being defencive here, I'm just calling it the way I see it.

 

 

 

Oh I act like that when someone is an ass with me, whether they're giving me advice or not, and, that's how I define offensive.

 

 

 

Or how about they really won over me who was just asking for help?

 

She was the one who started being nasty with me.

 

If she was in the right and I was in the wrong, then it's quite funny how I won the argument with her without putting spin on anything I was saying (which is something you always do)

 

 

 

That was an intelligent response.

 

 

 

How many times do you say this and how many times do I have to give you the same reply, read slowly, I don't react defensively to advice, only when someone is being an ass with me.

 

If not agreeing with someone, or saying why I can't do something, or why something wont work means I'm contradicting them or putting down what they say, then so be it. But if someone is getting mad and feels that they have to react defensivley towards me because their advice doesn't work then they obviously need help.

 

 

 

Well, like I said, I can't help it if a lot of the advice wont work for me. If you'd rather me just agree with everything everyone says all the time, I will do.

 

I'd just like to say, you are the crappest spin master I've ever know, you're even worse than Bill O'Reily. What the hell do you think I've been talking about in this topic if I haven't been acknowledging I have issues?

 

Seems to me if someone get's pissed off, and decides to be an ass with me just because their advice didn't work that they have issues. I mean, do they build their self esteem on their advice giving skills, and lash out at those who say 'I'm sorry, but I wouldn't be able to do that, because...' or 'Yeah, but that wont work because...'

 

 

 

No, you need to look closely, you, Island girl, dgiirl, Ripples, and a few others have pushed me away first. I mean, really, how hard is it for you to understand when someone is suddenly nasty towards me, when I've never done anything to them, just because I'm venting about my problems or their advice isn't suitable for my situation?

 

 

 

The people who started being asses with me weren't helping me anyway. And it doesn't matter how many times you say it, it doesn't make it true, and I will just keep telling you the same thing again and againm I do not diss people's advice in rude and condescending ways.

 

 

 

Well then that's their own fault then isn't it? I can only take so much crap being shoved in my face too, I'm pretty surprised I haven't put any of you who've been bad towards me on my user block list yet, I mean, you're certainly toxic people.

 

 

 

Well, I'm sure if you take a break from the computer, sit down and relax, you'll be bale to come up with another wealth of made up stuff, maybe you'll even be able to come up with 5 new ways of telling me how I 'diss' people when they try to help me by giving me advice.

 

So do you think acting like an 'ass' to those who allegedly act like an 'ass' to you is the right thing to do? If acting like an 'ass' is such a bad thing as you make it out to be then why do you proceed to do it as well?

 

All right... give us examples of how people have acted like 'asses' to you, Ross. I really am curious now. You've piqued my interest.

[Ross_K]

I think, in this case, a simple move won't change anything. The basic personality and attitude issues will still be there regardless of location.

 

Did you ever realise that some areas are bad or not suitable for a particular person, because of lifestyle, culture, ect?

 

Would you be comfortable in a ghetto? No, you wouldn't.

 

I don't mean any offence rabbit man, but you certainly aren't the sharpest knife in the draw.

[Ross_K]

Hi Ross,

 

But there are some things like low confidence, anxiety, negativity, etc, that I need to work on.

 

Well, the way I see it, you have lots of confidence, you are sensitive, so it's natural that you'd feel anxious in certain situations for whatever the reason, and negativity, well, that is well earned too.

 

Ariadne

 

Yeah I guess but when I talk about working on my negativity, I mean trying to not think about negative things all the time. Think more about positive stuff, because I have got some positive stuff going on in my life and I have a lot to be thankful for.

 

I'm trying to take the 7 day challenge, what it is is to not hold on to any negative thought for a whole 7 days, when you come out of it you're supposed to be a whole new person, people will notic ethe difference too, and it can change your life. It's what I've been listening to on an Anthony Robbins tape.

 

You see, not holding on to negative thoughts permenently for 7 days, will actually train/re-wire your brain to think that way, that's why if you slip up and don't let go of something straight away, even if it's on the last day, you have to start all over again.

 

The thing is with me though is I keep slipping up on the first day.

[burning 4 revenge]

I disagree Smoochie. I think it won't change everything, but in Rosses case it will change some things for sure. If he's being bullied in that area and many of the kids around there are mean-spirited predators on the prowl for prey then a change of location would do Ross a lot of good.