Fired!

[Adunaphel]

Aw.

Your boss is an ass. A big one.

 

You'd wish people were more professional, had a more realistic idea of what their employees should or should not be doing, and did not retaliate *on the job* when someone commits the abominous crime of asking some time to think over their ridiculous badly-disguised threats.

 

Otter, I really hope you can get the kind of job you like - and enjoy it.

You are too friggin smart to work for inflated ass****s like this (former)boss of yours.

[FredTravels]

Bummer about the job.

 

But, your boss was being a boss. If you are hired as an assistant to him or her, I imagine it involves keeping his schedule which may include personal appointments (ie soccer schedule). Now I would draw the line at picking up the dry cleaning, but I do not think his expectations were out of line.

 

The execution of the reprimand or counselling certainly was.

[blind_otter]

Bummer about the job.

 

But, your boss was being a boss. If you are hired as an assistant to him or her, I imagine it involves keeping his schedule which may include personal appointments (ie soccer schedule). Now I would draw the line at picking up the dry cleaning, but I do not think his expectations were out of line.

 

The execution of the reprimand or counselling certainly was.

 

Nope, I was not hired as a personal assistant. I was hired as an office manager and was told that they would handle their personal life themselves. I've had thosetypes of jobs before and I can't handle them. I don't think it's too much to expect people to deal with their own effing soccer schedules.

[serial muse]

well, especially since you did, as you said, follow the understood procedures for distributing incoming faxes. so you did your job. just because he didn't check his inbox and therefore probably got **** from his wife or daughter is not a good reason to fire you. i guess it's as they say - **** rolls downhill.

 

and i agree, i think it's a huge red flag when someone wants you to "think" for them. at some point, they will inevitably be unhappy - it's an impossible situation for an employee. there's no way you could always anticipate someone who won't take the responsibility on their own shoulders. it's really crass to push that off onto an employee.

[EnigmaXOXO]

She placed the soccer schedule in his inbox. He "forgot" to check his mailbox and expected Otter to anticipate his absent-mindedness before even knowing him well enough to figure out he was unable to think for himself. He felt his authority was being challenged when Otter stated as much in her not-so-politically-correct way and was quick to remind her of the good-ol-boy network's pecking order.

 

Refer to my favorite quote number #3.

[2sunny]

I'm so sorry BO -

 

You are an independent thinker though, and have a lot to offer a variety of groups...

 

You are also a wonderful writer, and I think you should consider being able to make an impact on the world through your very unusual experiences at such a young age.

 

You are young - but VERY wise beyond your years... this is a gift that not many people get in life.

 

Use it to enhance and educate the lives of others.

 

I would also love to consider writing, just don't know how to get started with it all...

 

Go for it honey!

[will2power]

Can you sue him for wrongful dismissal? He cna't fire you for not telling him his daughter's soccer schedule was in his inbox. You also should have gone to HR (if there is one) to find out the reason for dismissal.

[blind_otter]

No HR to speak of. They actually just opened their doors this year and are a start up business.

 

IMO the guy's unprofessional conduct will probably be their achilles heel.

 

Whatever I'm going to try freelance writing for a while. At least I can do that from my parent's house and hang out with my Dad during the day.

[RecordProducer]

His daughter and her soccer? That should NOT be your job. He is an ass! I hope you got paid for the 3 weeks.

 

When people have power, they show their true colors. Don't let them walk all over you, B_O!

[scrybe74]

I'm sorry to hear that BO-

 

The guy was a jerk. And for future reference...if someone asks you to quit say 'NO'. I'm assuming you are in the US....you would qualify for unemployment insurance and you also have been able to sue for wrongful termination. Also...bosses like that don't respond well to any sign of weekness....your 'calm voice' and 'quivering' just feeds his anger. In the future...stand firm on your position. If you starts yelling leave the room and get a third party to witness the conversation.

 

Good luck in your job search.

[alphamale]

Whatever I'm going to try freelance writing for a while.

Is there any money in that?

[lindya]

You shouldn't have argued with him. You should have just said you'll try to do better next time and that you're sorry you let him down.

 

That kind of conflict avoiding "The boss is always right" approach doesn't help anyone. It doesn't help the boss to improve his methods of communicating with staff, it doesn't help the company and it doesn't help the apologist's dignity and image in the workplace.

 

There will never be a shortage of bad people-managers in positions of authority, and pandering to them by subserviently copping every bit of blame and incompetence they feel like projecting just fuels the problem. The office is not supposed to be some kind of master/slave situation; it's a place where people work as a team for the benefit of the company. If good teamwork is being held up by a boss who can't be clear about his/her instructions and expectations, then that's something that should be taken up with that boss.

 

How to do it without getting fired is the art, I suppose. There are some bosses who won't accept any criticism without resorting to that. I added a link about narcissistic bosses and their impact on the workplace. Not that I'm alleging Otter's ex-boss was a narcissist, but the article points out that some of the criteria that typify narcissism and inverted narcissism are common amongst employees who seem to thrive in toxic environments. Accepting that these behaviours are "right" and acceptable isn't necessarily a healthy path to follow.

 

Otter - is this guy the owner of the company, or are there people above him in the hierarchy? If he has a boss, I would ask for some kind of debriefing/exit interview with that person.

 

If your boss is simply one in a chain of command, the company might not be thrilled to find out that he's firing staff for not organising his personal life. After all, every time someone gets fired, there's a risk of the company being subjected to an action. A bad manager increases the likelihood of the company losing that action.

 

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=12599

[Citizen Erased]

I just resigned from my job because I was pretty much pushed to do so. I was leaving in a couple of months, they had found my replacement and I trained her. One day they just decided she was up to coping without me (after 2 weeks of training!) and they were pushing me to leave so I gave them one week notice and left. Stupid Pig. I was forced to have a man look at my boobs for 10 months, work my ass off and then "oh well despite your loyalty **** off".

 

I'm leaving this ****ty country.

[blind_otter]

Otter - is this guy the owner of the company, or are there people above him in the hierarchy? If he has a boss, I would ask for some kind of debriefing/exit interview with that person.

 

He was part owner. There were two people who owned the company equally, each with their specific area of interest, but neither of them had previous experience running a business and neither of them had ever had an assistant before.

 

I had reservations when I first started working for them because I've been in toxic work environments before. Maybe it just makes me a bad worker because I cannot kowtow to stupidity and I find it almost impossible to debase myself. I can't roll over and tell someone that it's OK to vent their frustration with their personal life onto ME.

 

Perhaps this is because of my background with abusive relationships, but quite honestly I felt that way in the interaction. I was actually afraid of him. And it seemed like the more afraid I became, the angrier he got. I even, at one point, told him that the way he was speaking to me was making me anxious and he blew it off and got even angrier that I told him I was getting anxious!

 

I don't want to work for anyone who makes me feel that way. But I worry that it's all my problem. That people in these types of positions are always that way and there's nothing I can do about it. So I am trying to find alternative methods to support myself. But I wonder if that's just running away from the problem.

 

I just feel pretty beat down in general.

[burning 4 revenge]

B.O. have you considered library science?

 

Especially if you combine it with a second master's, there are a lot of interesting opportunities in two university towns around there

[blind_otter]

Actually I was thinking about it, b4r, and it's really cool that you mention it.

[Buttaflyy]

Otter- All employers aren't like that. You've gotta dust yourself off and try again. Don't put them on your resume.

 

My last employer (supervisor) was the same as this guy. I too, was the office manager and he wanted a secretary. I WAS NOT hired to be his personal assistant and it bugged me plenty when he tried to push his duties upon me. He always looked for errors in my work, and he tried to make me look incompetant. He would never delegate duties to anyone but me, and would offer my services to anyone around the office. I needed the job so I put up with him for five years. I documented EVERYTHING, and when possible I would clue his boss in to what was going on. I was never incomplient, as much as I wanted to be. We bumped heads alot, but he could never keep anyone under his employment and it was apparent that it was him! I blew them all away when I resigned! Told all during the exit interview and they begged me to stay. I told them the truth... I could not stay under him. They asked me to sub-contract for them and I refused. They realised that he could not stand alone. It was apparent who was doing his job for the time I was there and they were afraid. He'd been there for 20+ years! Unbelievable! Anywho... Now I love my job!

 

It will get better for you too. It's pretty miserable waking in the morning dreading to walk into an office that you hate! You made the right choice, now you've gotta get out there and open another door.

[Craig]

I don't want to work for anyone who makes me feel that way. But I worry that it's all my problem. That people in these types of positions are always that way and there's nothing I can do about it. So I am trying to find alternative methods to support myself. But I wonder if that's just running away from the problem.

 

I just feel pretty beat down in general.

 

Otter not all people in those types of positions are always that way. I'll give you two examples. The first one the employer that had a goal to create an environment in which employees would flourish. To that end he invested in the appropriate furniture, lighting, coffee, various teas, fruit juices, soft drinks and snacks. He gave employees more frequent breaks than normal (10 minutes every hour) and strove to be sensitive and compassionate when dealing with them. He also thanked employees very frequently for their work and made it known that he appreciated them. The result was that productivity increased, absenteeism went to nearly zero, people looked forward to coming to work and the employer felt good about what he was doing too. By anyones standards it was a success.

 

The second example is of a place I once worked at. My boss was a control freak but not an a** about it. He'd want things done a certain way and then would ask to have them done the opposite way after things were done the way he first wanted them done. Not efficient, frustrating yes but his requests didn't produce unwanted visceral reactions either. Ok, so he was sort of a genius at what he did and everything was custom one offs. Anyway, he was flexible, open to criticism, was willing to be wrong and also was compassionate and sensitive.

 

So there you have it Otter, two examples of businesses where employee abuse didn't exist.

 

If you inspect a prospective employer before getting hired you can eliminate the abusive employers. Remember that while your prospective employer is interviewing you, you should be interviewing her or him.

 

Otter there's nothing wrong with trying to find alternate means to support yourself but you are going to run into the types of people you would rather avoid no matter what you do. With a little pre-inspection and screening you can however avoid or limit contact with most of them.

[alphamale]

Actually I was thinking about it, b4r, and it's really cool that you mention it.

sorry b_0 but i can't see you as a librarian

[johan]

sorry b_0 but i can't see you as a librarian

 

I can. I've masturbated to the idea of it three times already. Come on, Ms. Otter, let's have a tour of your stacks.

[johan]

Make that four times.

[alphamale]

Make that four times.

did you wash your hands?

[napoleandynamite]

Blind Otter

 

Your boss sounds like he has a history of having personality conflicts with his assistants. As an assistant myself, I do my best to look out for them, but I could never "think" for them, that is a job that's up to them-that's why they're called "Management", as they are getting paid the big bucks to think in order to make business work successfully. He defintetly fails as Upper Management or a Boss. The job of your (former) boss was to direct people, meaning, he has to think for himself and tell his workers what to do, not the other way around. I know you're upset about losing your job, it sucks. However, be glad to be out of there at early enough notice where you don't have to put this job on your resume (since the duration was low) and now you know what to look out for with your next boss.

 

How long have you been in the field of "assisting?" Perhaps you should look into something else. Being an Exec Assistant, paralegal, secretary, etc can be either a good or a bad job--the trick is finding the right one. Maybe you can start temping instead so you can see if the whether or not the job will work out for you. Do you have any other skills or work experience that you would like to pursue?

[napoleandynamite]

how did we go from this person discussing how she lost her job to you jerking off to a librarian??? Maybe you're both missing the point of the discussion?

[johan]

how did we go from this person discussing how she lost her job to you jerking off to a librarian???

 

Don't know. Have any ideas?

 

Maybe you're both missing the point of the discussion?

 

I might be. I know Ms. Otter struggles with things far greater than employment issues. Although I'm sure she didn't need this at this particular time. She knows I hope the best for her, but I think this employment thing is something I cannot offer any particular advice or assistance on. So if I was at least able to make her smile or laugh that's about all I have. If I failed even to do that, then at least Alpha and I got something out of it.