WTF is wrong with me!!!!!!!!!!!

[SoCalCatman72]

I once had a male roomate , he was abstinate after his D, longterm . After quite a while (more than a year) we went for it .I had dated in the inturem . Weve been together going on 5 years now .Pretty much happily. Good luck.

 

Yeah, I've kinda just decided to go with the flow. If it happens it happens and if not, then I've lost nothing except maybe a little sleep. I'll keep y'all posted on the progress.

[a4a]

Get her in the car with you and stop short .........see where that takes ya.

[SoCalCatman72]

Get her in the car with you and stop short .........see where that takes ya.

 

Huh? I'm confused.

[SoCalCatman72]

Ok, there is definitely a wierd vibe here. I guess she came home shortly after I did about 2 hours ago, I didn't hear her, but the front door is locked now and I didn't lock it when I came in. I guess she slipped quietly into her room and I haven't seen hide nor hair of her since.

 

Oh well, it's late and I have a business conference tomorrow, so I'm going to bed.

 

You all are great *hugz*

[Trimmer]

Wait a minute - let's go back to the date thing from a couple nights ago. First, she calls you to let you know that she will be bringing home a date.

 

Then, she's home by 11pm, you guys spark a doob together and talk about how her date went. Well, it was over by 11 pm so it couldn't have been that magical, eh? What did she say?

 

I'm with b_o - this is totally juicy and intriguing; I'm staying tuned. Keep us posted; after getting us all worked up here you'd better have the decency to bring us off.

[SoCalCatman72]

Wait a minute - let's go back to the date thing from a couple nights ago. First, she calls you to let you know that she will be bringing home a date.

 

Then, she's home by 11pm, you guys spark a doob together and talk about how her date went. Well, it was over by 11 pm so it couldn't have been that magical, eh? What did she say?

 

You know, I don't really remember as I was pretty hammered at the time, and I think I didn't really care at that time, there was too much turmoil going on inside my head. I only spent about 15 min with her and then went back to bed.

 

Ok, as to today's update. I went to my investor conference, and when I got home, the place was cleaned spotless and there is a note waiting for me, letting me know that she might be bringing the guy over tonight, and to please smoke outside on the patio all day today. (despite the fact that we smoke indoors all the time )

 

As to the wierdness, it's definitely still there. Last night, after I went to bed I heard her come out of her room. It's like she waited until my door closed and then came out. I also passed her in the street coming home, and I know she saw me (you can't miss my old faded pickup truck in this area), she kinda looked away, didn't wave or anything.

 

*Sigh* I think I'm gonna stay at a friend's tonight. I'm so done, a guy can only suffer for so long before he begins turning off those emotional switches, and I'm ready to hit the master breaker.

 

On a positive note, one deal I'm working on is coming close to being sucessful, and if everything goes well, I should have a nice six figure income by the end of the year. Also, this cute girl at starbucks initiated a conversation with me today. I had seen her and said "hi" a few times before, but today I actually found out her name. I think if she's there tomorrow, I'm going to ask for her number, so send me some good luck vibes fellas, ok?

 

I think I'm going to take a nap now.

[Yamaha]

She's playing with you. Women will use the avoidance card when you are not doing what they want you to do. She sounds like she is waiting on you to make a move and is becoming frustrated with you. If you like her I would find a way to tell her ( maybe act jealous and ask about the friend ). She will pick up on it and then you both can decide what to do.

[SoCalCatman72]

Ok, nap failed....but since I had time to lie there and think......well this is kinda the train of thought.

 

I've obviously had strong feelings for her for some time now, it's not like they just manifested themselves overnight, just that recent events have made me become painfully aware of them. Also, I've been viewing this through my own warped view so.....

 

1. Throw out the denial....I'm helplessly attracted to her.

 

2. Try to view events without bias;

 

a. As I have feelings for her, I may have subconciously reacted to events prior. I might have projected a change in body language, I know some women are very sensitive to these things.

 

b. Due to bias, I probably have misread or overinflated in my mind some or most of her actions.

 

c. Assuming she is unaware, from her POV, I've suddenly started acting strange.

 

d. As I am acting strange, her behavioral patterns regarding interaction with me are going to adjust accordingly.

 

ok, now where to go from here?

 

Well, that's about it. Mentally, I'm back to square one. I have no idea how, what or if she feels. And now I've got to deal with how I feel, while she's dating someone else.

 

Nothing worse than a financial analyst with time and a bunch of personal issues on his hands.

 

At least I know that I can feel attraction again... I guess that's a good thing after four years of being numb. I forgot how much heartache it brings though.

 

ok, blind otter, time to write a soap opera script out of this one.

[blind_otter]

she's avoiding you because she has some feeeeeeelings. i've done that before.

[tinktronik]

she's avoiding you because she has some feeeeeeelings. i've done that before.

I tend to do the same thing when things get hott or I feel uncomfortable with what Im feeling , then I try denial then I get a little angry . Then I fall head over and realize I was already there anyway.

[SoCalCatman72]

Then I fall head over and realize I was already there anyway.

 

So about how long does this cycle take?

 

Well, I personally have managed to avoid seeing her for the past 48 hours:(.

 

I don't know what else to do at this point in time except get so busy in my own life that I don't have time to think about her, so I'm pouring myself into work.

 

It's funny, as we both seem to be avoiding each other, the living room coffe table hasn't been touched in 3 days. All the magazines and stuff are in the exact same place .

 

*sigh* why does my heart hurt?............ It must be that greasy burger I ate Saturday night.

[blind_otter]

Maybe you should schedule days where you are forced to interact. Mutual major housecleaning so you have to work together and get sudsy and wet. Or nights where you cook dinner together. Find ways to foster intimacy.

 

If you buiiiiild it, she willl cuuuuuuuum~~~ oooooooOOOOoooo.

[SoCalCatman72]

Find ways to foster intimacy.

 

If you buiiiiild it, she willl cuuuuuuuum~~~ oooooooOOOOoooo.

 

Actually, I think part of the problem is that for the past several months, we have been subconciously fostering intimacy, simply by sitting in the living room together almost every night, eating dinner, watching TV or talking about her day. I realized the other day that I know (and love) so much about her. I know what kind of foods she loves, what her dreams are, what her fears are.....

 

Ever since this started, the song "Amazed" by Lonestar has been running through my head again and again.

 

It's wierd.

[basscatcher]

You need to talk to her about your feelings.

 

The can of worms has been opened. You can't reclose it.

 

This situation isn't going to resolve itself by ignoring it.

 

You and her can't continue forever to avoid each other. It's not healthy for either of you.

 

You need to make plans with her to sit down and talk about what has been happneing. PERIOD... It is going to drive you insane if you don't get some clarity with the situation and find some peace with it.

 

It's better to have her turn you down, or give you possitve feedback then to be sitting spinning in this toil. You arent' able to move forward in any direction like this.

 

You will become more obsessed, more focused on her if you don't stand up on your soapbox with her.

 

You also know what they say here in LS about being put in the dreaded friendship zone. ! Do you want to sit on your arse until that happens? Your at a critical cross point and the window of time won't last forever while you ponder around hiding your feelings. The longer you wait to reveal your interest the harder it will be for you to enter into your world.

 

Women don't wait forever.. Your the man.. Chivelry is alive in many forms still to this day..

 

I'm warning you dearie---if you don't sit her down soon and confess your feelings you will loose any chance at all in the future if it isn't too late already.. Love is blind.. If love isn't nurtured it can't continue to grow.

 

You have already been obsessing over this for too long. Look at how many days you have already wasted on your wonders, worries, questions, analyzing over and about her..

 

DUDE--get it together now and get a grip... You gonna blow it away sitting on your lips....

 

The worse thing that could happen is she doesnt' return her feelings. If that happens then you can move on and you will have your answers before you become so obsessed and fall in love with her and you pine away after her and she doesn't return your feelings.

 

Face this head on.... Before it evolves into something harder to deal with and your back at square one of healing from disappointment.. You've already been out of the love circle for awhile licking your wounds and healing.. Don't damage yourself from an obsession you will linger in for so long -- it will cause more wasted time finding the right person.

[SoCalCatman72]

This situation isn't going to resolve itself by ignoring it.

 

You and her can't continue forever to avoid each other. It's not healthy for either of you.

-------------

I'm warning you dearie---if you don't sit her down soon and confess your feelings you will loose any chance at all in the future if it isn't too late already.. Love is blind.. If love isn't nurtured it can't continue to grow.

-------------

DUDE--get it together now and get a grip... You gonna blow it away sitting on your lips....

 

I love a woman who knows how to tell it like it is.

 

Pada, you are so right. I'm on here pouring my heart out, and the truth is, only she can tell me what I need to know, so I know which way to go.

 

I'm tired of being stressed out by all this. As my friend told me Sat night "reach between your legs, find your balls, and go talk to her.":laugh:

 

I'm not going to avoid her anymore, I've got to be a man.

 

Thanks, I'll let you know how things go.

[SoCalCatman72]

Quick update for those who are following this (somewhat wimpy) thread.

 

Well, I just got an e-mail from her saying in essence that she noticed that I've been out a lot and that she doesn't want me falling back into old bad habits, (I'm a recovering addict) that she wants to help if I am having problems and help keep me clean.

 

Wow!

 

She's not home yet, but I have a feeling it's going to be an interesting night.

[Trimmer]

Quick update for those who are following this (somewhat wimpy) thread.

Oh, count me in, count me right in there!!!

 

You know, for the first many months I was on LS, I wallowed around mostly on the infidelity and separation/divorce boards.

 

This is so damn much more fun...

 

Pass the popcorn, there, blind_otter. And I don't mean that in a NASCAR "I'm-watching-to-see-the-cars-crashing-and-tires-flying" kind of way - I really hope it works out well for you, SoCal...

[blind_otter]

Wow!

 

She's not home yet, but I have a feeling it's going to be an interesting night.

 

I just heard a sexy bassline from a porno in my head when I read this.

[SoCalCatman72]

Ok fans, here's the latest chapter in the drama that is my life.

 

Well, got home last night and she was on some online dating sites. (I guess she can't be too serious about the guy she was seeing, huh?)

 

We sat and talked for a while, watched our favorite TV shows. I was as nervous as a cat on a griddle. I tried so many times to find a way to broach the subject, failed again and again.

 

She was tired, commented on how she was falling asleep, but for some reason stayed in the living room with me, refusing to go to bed, almost like she was waiting for something *sigh*, I'm such a wimp. I tried to go to sleep, but tossed and turned, thinking about how much I just wanted to hold her close and pour my heart out to her.

 

Finally managed to get to sleep after a couple of (strong) drinks. Woke up with a slight hangover. So I wrote her a letter from the heart (I get all tongue tied when I try to talk about it in person) I'm going to put it under her door tonight, and see what happens.

 

No more wimping out....I've absolutely gotta do this tonight.

[basscatcher]

So cats got your tonge.

 

Well my question is this. If she reads that letter before you leave the apt are you ready to face her?

Will you be gone by the time she gets up?

What if she gets up in the night, steps on it and reads it while your sleeping?

What if she knocks on your door in the middle of the night?

What if you wake up next to her cuddling you?

What if she wants to talk about it in the morning?

 

Have you prepared yourself ?

 

Be ready to answer questions, be ready for anything. ANYTHING..

 

Negative or possitive. Be prepared.

 

Don't chicken out. Geeze do I have to ask you for her email so i can tell her for you? How old are YOU?

 

I'm giving you a hard time... ^5, go for it sweetie, you really need to face this...

 

(sorry my posts are being monitored so it takes awhile for them to post. I miss the immediacy of posting. ugh.)

[SoCalCatman72]

Ok, no more wimpy guy here So I waited till about 10pm and slid the letter under her door before I went to bed. Woke up in the middle of the night after she got home, and ate a banana and some cheese. I'm assuming she has the letter, and all the chocolate in the house is now gone...... (I mean it was one of those huge supermarket bars like 10"x8")

 

Woke up this morning, she was still in her room. So I haven't seen her at all yet. No note, no eviction notice .

 

What if you wake up next to her cuddling you?

 

I'd assume that I died in my sleep and woke up in heaven....but my cats might object to her taking up their side of the bed.

 

Have you prepared yourself ?

 

Be ready to answer questions, be ready for anything. ANYTHING..

 

Negative or possitive. Be prepared.

 

Yeah, I think I'm prepared. I mean the worst case scenario in my mind is that she has no feelings.

 

(sorry my posts are being monitored so it takes awhile for them to post. I miss the immediacy of posting. ugh.)

 

Pada, what did you do??????

 

 

Ugh, I know why they call it lovesick....I can't sleep, can't eat and I feel sick.

 

Such delicious agony.

[basscatcher]

, and all the chocolate in the house is now gone...... (I mean it was one of those huge supermarket bars like 10"x8")

women devour chocolate when they are love sick too, or confused about love.

 

Pada, what did you do??????

unknowly (uneducated) posted an embedded link in a thread that lead to a website that advertised services and products. I didn't know any better.

I learned afterwards from bugging the hell out of my family, friends, and IT personnel to figure out what the hell went wrong.

I explained myself and the Mods still wouldn't reopen my privys. O well another week to go.

[ZICKAR]

"No expectations no disapointments" strangely I heard this on a sitcom "Becker" But I find it quite insightful especially at love ....Love always takes you by surprise when you least expect it so I am thinking you should get your mind off of it....Don't expect much cause you might get disapointed specially that you are roommates and it might be really frustrating if she turns you down....Beleive me I"ve been there and when you are that close taking your chances can leave you in a mess:confused:

[SoCalCatman72]

Don't expect much cause you might get disapointed specially that you are roommates and it might be really frustrating if she turns you down....Beleive me I"ve been there and when you are that close taking your chances can leave you in a mess:confused:

 

Agreed, however in this scenario I've decided that it's worse to sit and have these feelings bottled up inside and pretend everything is status quo.

 

If she turns me down, then she turns me down. It'll probably be awkward for a while, but hopefully we have built a good enough relationship over the past several months that we can remain friends.

 

She knows that I completely respect her privacy (heck when the A/C breaker blew one day, I waited patiently with a fan in the 95 degree heat, until she came home because the breaker box is in her bedroom)

 

If she's totally uncomfortable and flipping out, then I'll move. Either way this is going to be a real acid test of our relationship. I've determined that we will go one of the following ways.

 

1. She just likes me as a friend, we get over it and share a wonderful friendship.

 

2. She can't handle it, I move out and we go our separate ways.

 

3. She wants to explore this new path, and see where it leads.

 

Regardless, I know I will be fine. It's not like I'm completely unattractive, and I know a few other women that seem to be very into me, it's just that they are not.......her.

 

I realised that if I can have feelings for her after years of being dead inside, then even if she rejects me, I simply have to have faith that I will someday have these feelings for someone else.

 

As I told her one day in casual conversation, even if I am destined never to find someone and to spend my life alone (with cats ), that I will do my best to be satisfied with my lot, and understand that God's grace must be sufficient for me.

[blind_otter]

She knows that I completely respect her privacy (heck when the A/C breaker blew one day, I waited patiently with a fan in the 95 degree heat, until she came home because the breaker box is in her bedroom)

 

You are such a peach!

 

Regardless, I know I will be fine. It's not like I'm completely unattractive, and I know a few other women that seem to be very into me, it's just that they are not.......her.

 

lawd, this is better than one of thoseromance novels with a muscley dude clutching a fainting woman to his throbbing pectoral muscles.

 

I simply have to have faith that I will someday have these feelings for someone else.

 

Huzzah!!

 

As I told her one day in casual conversation, even if I am destined never to find someone and to spend my life alone (with cats ), that I will do my best to be satisfied with my lot, and understand that God's grace must be sufficient for me.

 

What a peach!!! I'm going to concentrate my mojo vibes and direct them towards you, stat. Good luck, I am totally in your cheering section.