Fiance is making me even more negative towards women

[hyakku]

My mother was actually kicked out working for a shelter for telling some of the woman to beat their sons as a release for anger.

 

I'm sure it would've been better if all those females took your moms advice!

 

And that was a truly ignorant statement, women who work at shelters are feminists.

 

I'm starting to find it hard to believe you actually beliee all of this, maybe you do, but it raelly seems kind of impossible with so much real world evidence that goes against all of what you're saying for you to raelly believe this is happening daily.

 

If you do, get counseling, but it just seems nearly impossible for you to really think this in this day and age.

[lindya]

I'm starting to find it hard to believe you actually beliee all of this, maybe you do, but it raelly seems kind of impossible with so much real world evidence that goes against all of what you're saying for you to raelly believe this is happening daily.

 

You're going to be a psychologist, aren't you hyakku? Best start getting used to dealing with the Differently Perceiving members of our community. Woggle's views will probably pale in comparison with those of some of the patients you run up against.

[a4a]

You're going to be a psychologist, aren't you hyakku? Best start getting used to dealing with the Differently Perceiving members of our community. Woggle's views will probably pale in comparison with those of some of the patients you run up against.

 

 

And realize that he is again fishing for validation in his thoughts by posting more of this She Woman Man Haters crap. Perhaps if one could post that he is a terrible man and all men are rotten and need to be dealt with as worthless scum then we can confirm his thoughts for him.

 

Yes Woggle.... all men are scum, they need to be used until they are dried up. The only reason that they even should be on the planet is for sperm donors until science can find a way to just do away with that as well.

 

I hate all men, I will use them, I will abuse them, I will treat them as they should be treated...... like dirt.

 

There feel better now Woggle, is that not what you wanted to hear?

 

BTW Wog, I think you are a genius to know exactly how all or many woman think and feel about men.

 

In reality I like many men...... but you with your attitude and constant braying about the "evils of women" is starting to get on my nerves. So I can understand how many woman would single you out to be less than attractive or desirable as a person in general. Thus many women may not like you, but may like men in general.

 

Your rantings are very close to those of a racist............think about it.

[blind_otter]

Do you honestly expect this not to have any effect on me?

 

That's an excuse, and it shows me that you haven't addressed the things you need to so that you can start to recover from the abuse you went through. I understand this feeling, I used to universally hate all men because of my past. I thought they only viewed women as sex objects, and that all men had the capacity to be rapists and abusers.

 

But part of my recovery has been about forgiving those men who violated my body.

 

You have to understand that as long as you let those experiences affect your judgement, and your life, you let them win. You continually let your mother influence your life and your choices and your opinions, the one who hurt you so much is the one who controls how you think about the world. That's pretty sad. I realized that for myself and am still working to overcome that fear inside me.

 

But don't let that fear and anger rule your life. You let your abuser win, that way.

[Woggle]

Everybody here is talking about how screwed up I am but I feel more healthy than ever. I finally have a clarity on life that I never had before and it feels great. I am happier now than I have ever been.

[lindya]

Yes Woggle.... all men are scum, they need to be used until they are dried up. The only reason that they even should be on the planet is for sperm donors until science can find a way to just do away with that as well.

 

I hate all men, I will use them, I will abuse them, I will treat them as they should be treated...... like dirt.

 

Finally a feminist comes out from under a stone to say what she really thinks of men., and this thread confirms exactly why I am right to feel the way I do about most women.

 

I am just thankful that my fiance is not like most other women and is someone who I can trust not to bleed my dry in the way that you bleed men dry. She understands about the prenupt agreement, and being a strong, independent attractive woman who has her own money and hates feminism she understands the reasons for it. She is a perfect fit for me and not just pretending to be. I am a good man who speaks the truth even if it hurts women to hear it. My fiance respects this and is the female version of me. All is right and good with the world. Except that there are still women like you in it.

 

(I'm a fast typist, Woggle so I thought I'd save you the trouble of posting)

[blind_otter]

Everybody here is talking about how screwed up I am but I feel more healthy than ever. I finally have a clarity on life that I never had before and it feels great. I am happier now than I have ever been.

 

Yeah, well, crazy people for the most part, and rarely aware of how crazy they are until someone holds a mirror up to their face at just the right angle.

 

I'm just saying!

[a4a]

Woggle does not realize that he is a mimic of his mother in many senses.

[whichwayisup]

I used to sit there and listen to my mother and her group the worst bile ever about men until I was 17 when I finally ran away from home. I was also beat and screamed at over nothing almost daily. Since I was about 13 I used to not come home for days and stay out all night getting drunk and high but she did not seem to care one bit. She almost seemed to wish I was killed. Do you honestly expect this not to have any effect on me? My ex was horrible in her own right as well. Everybody here knows she almost killed me but I remember sitting there in court with her painting me as an abuser and rapist when none of it was true. The woman I am with now is the first woman in my life that truly seems to care about me and treat me well. My ex is in prison right now for shooting at me and she has stood by me through this whole ordeal. It is hard not to feel she is above most other women.

 

Wog, you know what I'm going to say...Therapy. Therapy is what is going to help YOU get past your issues...And they run deep. How could they not? The woman who was supposed to love you unconditionally, the woman who was supposed to BE a mother to you - Failed you. In everyway possible.

 

You've had some really awful relationships too. Probably had other experiences you've not shared with us either, but all in all, sooner or later YOU must decide NOT to let your past creep up and into your present and future life. You gotta make those thoughts and demons go away and not have it affect the NOW. The present.

 

If you hang on to your resentments and anger from your past, letting them control you, your life is going to be full of disappointments and letdowns.

[blind_otter]

Also, I should add that being stalked and attacked by an ex is traumatic as well. I had a hard time getting over what happened when my ex broke down my door and tried to kill my friend. I still have nightmares about it every now and then. It's not so bad to consider crisis counseling or something to deal with that issue.

[a4a]

The interesting part of this as well is that Woggle seems to keep finding the need to state that his fiance is not like other women..........over and over again. I doubt he has a real need to convince the LS people of this but is actually trying to convince himself.

 

Until the source of the problem is dealt with he will never be able to really look at his wife and forget she is still partially a woman. We all know all women are evil.

 

Woggle you need to get help ASAP. This will escalate as your wedding day approaches.

[whichwayisup]

Thing is, noone is perfect. People let down others sometimes...Not intentionally, or malciously - But it happens. My concern for you, Wog, is what happens if your future bride hurts you? Lets you down or can't meet all your needs? Will you be able to handle it without letting past hurts get in the way? Seems you can't have an objective conversation without bringing up how awful women are, (hense the conversation you had with a friend who was having problems with his wife - You let that scare you, almost breaking up with your fiancee) and that's not a good thing.

 

What happens if you have a daughter? Have you thought about this? I do hope you wouldn't let ANY past issues get in the way of unconditionally loving your own child, son or daughter.

 

I DO hope your life goes well with her, and you both stay happy...

[Woggle]

I would never abuse or mistreat a daughter ever. I am just honest with myself about the society we live in.

[blind_otter]

I would never abuse or mistreat a daughter ever. I am just honest with myself about the society we live in.

 

The disturbing thing about this statement is that you believe with all confidence that you are honest with yourself about "society" and don't acknowledge that you past experiences may have skewed your views about society.

 

I mean, that is pretty arrogant. I know that I have a messed up view of people because of what I have experienced and I try to take that into consideration. It's just bizarre and disturbing that you don't.

[Buttaflyy]

What happens if you have a daughter? Have you thought about this? I do hope you wouldn't let ANY past issues get in the way of unconditionally loving your own child, son or daughter.

 

I DO hope your life goes well with her, and you both stay happy...

 

Same here Woggle. Hope everything goes well. But, I really hope that you realize that your thoughts are unhealthy. Not only to you, but to your children if you have any. Sounds like you would be just a your mom was to you. Somewhere along the line, something went terribly wrong and she developed this negative perception of men, that you now have of women. There is a repeating cycle here.

 

I keep saying this, but I wonder about a woman (your fiance) who enforces your negative thoughts. How is she helping you really? Is it just casual talk amongst you two and you take it more seriously than it's meant by her? Does she know the extent of your problems? I think it may be easier to rant on a board, but I can't really picture someone face to face with a woman being as disrespectful as this, and she finds no offense.

 

Anyways, all the best.

[a4a]

I would never abuse or mistreat a daughter ever. I am just honest with myself about the society we live in.

 

No, it is your perspective on society because of your past issues.

 

Now if you are so happy why keep bringing up the Woman Issues?

 

Constant braying ...... I personally am tired of you lumping me in the trash heap with your statements. It is insulting. Just as insulting as it could be to person of color and you stating that all blue people are evil except the one blue person I plan to marry.

 

Now can you see why many blue people even the kind ones may tire of you and treat you poorly. You fish for it, you push for it. I guess you need the validation so you feel right with yourself........ easier to admit that all blue people suck than to face the problems you had with your blue mother......

probably makes her seem less evil because all blue people are that way.

[Shane361]

Seems to that alot of you allowing the negative aspects in life to consume you and its of your own free will. You tend to focus on your distaste for something as if you were a news channel. Like Chris Rock said "if you hate Mexicans your daughters gonna come home with LIVA LIVIDA LOCAAA". I dont have room in my life for negative stuff. If I dont like woman that are man haters and I'm not gonna donate the rest of my life to trying to correct their behavior thus making my life hell for their views . They have their reasons and will have to deal with it themselves. If people would lay off the stereotpying we could get through alot of this crap quick. You deal with woman so when a woman cheats or what not you generalize. Thats wrong... and will only bring you pain and will only piss off a few woman along the way. Ones that usually dont care about you in the first place. Forever woman that cheats on a man I bet there are two men cheating on a woman. My mom has been married 4 times all to evil men. I even quit talking when I was around 3/4 for 2 years so I am told cause of the way my dad treated my mom. Since then her life has been hell cause of evil men. I dont think all men are bad for it cause I know Im not. If you or anyone has such a problem with any one thing then you really need to look within. Thats where the problem lies for correction. -Shane

[Buttaflyy]

No, it is your perspective on society because of your past issues.

 

Now if you are so happy why keep bringing up the Woman Issues?

 

Constant braying ...... I personally am tired of you lumping me in the trash heap with your statements. It is insulting. Just as insulting as it could be to person of color and you stating that all blue people are evil except the one blue person I plan to marry.

 

Now can you see why many blue people even the kind ones may tire of you and treat you poorly. You fish for it, you push for it. I guess you need the validation so you feel right with yourself........ easier to admit that all blue people suck than to face the problems you had with your blue mother......

probably makes her seem less evil because all blue people are that way.

 

 

Hope your listening Woggle. You really are offensive. And as it's said here, it's tiring to keep hearing your remarks about us in this way. You say that we all want to abuse you, but actually with you it's the opposite. You display this behavior to all women accept your fiance.

 

On the other hand, many women has spent alot of time (not only in this post) being compassionate toward you. That's something that you can pretty much generalize women for; compassionate and empathy. It' sad that you don't care.

[lindya]

I would never abuse or mistreat a daughter ever. I am just honest with myself about the society we live in.

 

 

The negative and pessimistic perspective isn't necessaily the more truthful one. Nobody's asking you to buy into nonsense about women being fairytale princesses who are made of sugar and spice, but we're just asking you to aim for a bit of balance and perspective.

 

You'll be continually disappointed in life if you keep doing splitting everyone you meet into these basic "good/bad" categories you seem hell bent on using. Your angels will keep falling off their pedestals, and your devils will react against the negative labels you apply by going for your jugular.

 

And how do you know you wouldn't abuse/mistreat a daughter? You might start off deciding that she's your little princess...but it could well be a different story when her behaviour starts giving you snapshots of your own childhood. Parenthood can, for a lot of people who were abused as children, spark up bad memories. The child presents them with problematic behaviour. "How do I deal with this? How would my parents have dealt with it??"

 

Plenty of scope there for painful sores to be opened up. There are so many reasons for you to get proper counselling Woggle. If not for your sake, then for the sake of any children you might have.

[Woggle]

If you have shown compassion towards my remarks don't apply to you but I am just saying what I feel. Many men feel this way but are afraid to say it and I truly do feel women enjoy when a man suffers.

[blind_otter]

And how do you know you wouldn't abuse/mistreat a daughter? You might start off deciding that she's your little princess...but it could well be a different story when her behaviour starts giving you snapshots of your own childhood. Parenthood can, for a lot of people who were abused as children, spark up bad memories. The child presents them with problematic behaviour. "How do I deal with this? How would my parents have dealt with it??"

 

Plenty of scope there for painful sores to be opened up. There are so many reasons for you to get proper counselling Woggle. If not for your sake, then for the sake of any children you might have.

 

This is so, so, sadly true.

 

The cycle of abuse is a reality. People from abusive parents tend to have a greater tendency to abuse their own children. When you're around kids enough you realize that they can push you beyond your limit of endurance and you can snap. You have to be aware that you have a skewed sense of reality, and that your past affects how you may act.

 

I do this with my nieces and nephews, and when I babysit for extra cash. I have to be aware when I am about to reach my limit and make MYSELF take a time out to control my temper, and because I have had A LOT of therapy I am able to do this.

 

It seems like you're oddly sophisticated in some ways of thinking, and very very naieve in other ways, woggle.

[Shane361]

This is so, so, sadly true.

 

The cycle of abuse is a reality. People from abusive parents tend to have a greater tendency to abuse their own children. When you're around kids enough you realize that they can push you beyond your limit of endurance and you can snap. You have to be aware that you have a skewed sense of reality, and that your past affects how you may act.

 

I do this with my nieces and nephews, and when I babysit for extra cash. I have to be aware when I am about to reach my limit and make MYSELF take a time out to control my temper, and because I have had A LOT of therapy I am able to do this.

 

It seems like you're oddly sophisticated in some ways of thinking, and very very naieve in other ways, woggle.

 

 

Actually..people can go just as far to one side of the spectrum as the other. My mother smoked....but I dont. Mild comparison but nevertheless. Somepeople realize that they didnt like or agree with what their parents did so they wont do the same to their children. I said I would never curse at my children...I wont.....I hope! Still single with no children but I know I will hold true to my word.-Shane

[Buttaflyy]

If you have shown compassion towards my remarks don't apply to you but I am just saying what I feel. Many men feel this way but are afraid to say it and I truly do feel women enjoy when a man suffers.

 

It's hard to ignore when you generally think this way. I, for one, and actually I know alot of women who agree with me, hate to see a man in such pain. Women seem to be able to endure more. Men are most times stronger with brawn, women are stronger emotionally. To see a man cry is heartbreaking to me, as I know that pain is harder to deal with for some of you guys. For other women it's just plain pathetic. But I wouldn't say that even they enjoy to see your suffering.

 

You Woggle are in alot of pain. I hope you come to terms with this, and seek therapy to get through it. There can be a light at the end of your tunnel. It is for everyone who opens their eyes.

[blind_otter]

Actually..people can go just as far to one side of the spectrum as the other. My mother smoked....but I dont. Mild comparison but nevertheless. Somepeople realize that they didnt like or agree with what their parents did so they wont do the same to their children. I said I would never curse at my children...I wont.....I hope! Still single with no children but I know I will hold true to my word.-Shane

 

With all due respect, intentions are one thing, and action is another. I always said I would never lose my temper like my mother did. But the reality is that I never learned how to cope with anger in the appropriate manner. I had to teach myself. So I am extra careful. I think it would be a mistake to assume that just because you INTEND to avoid being abusive, that you can automatically handle any situation. Especially one you've never been in before.

[Woggle]

It's hard to ignore when you generally think this way. I, for one, and actually I know alot of women who agree with me, hate to see a man in such pain. Women seem to be able to endure more. Men are most times stronger with brawn, women are stronger emotionally. To see a man cry is heartbreaking to me, as I know that pain is harder to deal with for some of you guys. For other women it's just plain pathetic. But I wouldn't say that even they enjoy to see your suffering.

 

You Woggle are in alot of pain. I hope you come to terms with this, and seek therapy to get through it. There can be a light at the end of your tunnel. It is for everyone who opens their eyes.

 

I don't doubt that you feel that way but it seems like whenever there is a woman in the news that harms a man she becomes a hero. I remember how Lorena Bobbit became a folk hero for mutilating a man. This woman commited a brutal crime and she becomes a feminist hero.