fabulousgal Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 How do you prepare yourself for finding out they are with someone else? I am not AS freaked out about it as I was before, but I am still really nervous for when it happens. Yuck.
Diver012 Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 I dont know if you really can. I have already admitted the fact that my Ex left me for another. As a matter of fact, I would go as far to say that she already had someone in mind before we split. Hopefully, she will never invite him to the office. I think the initial shock of seeing her in love with someone else would un-nerve me. Im not looking forward to it, especially since I will most likely not be dating for a while. When it does happen, I will feel like the loser shmuck sitting there by my self...
Nedved28 Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 Thats my worst fear also!!! How do you prepare? i guess there is no way to prepare for it!! ya just gotta deal with it the best you can. I've been told it dose set you back slightly when you find out but it can make you more determined to move on also as you know there's no way back now!!! Although i guess for a lot of people(possibly me included) that will be hard to take and accept!! I'd be interested to hear other peoples views on how to deal with it?
silentcharon Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 Yeah, I don't really think anyone can really prepare seeing their ex with someone else. I think it also depends on how the long gone relationship was, and how it ended. I am moving on somewhat, to the point where I don't care about what my ex is doing, also mentally/emotionally preparing myself for the day my ex finds someone else. I'm not entirely over him, but the least I can do is act as if he's already with someone else. It also helps, IMHO.
GW7147 Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 It's as if fabgal read my mind. I've been in NC for about 8 weeks now. I've been making pretty good strides in healing myself. All of a sudden, I began thinking about my ex meeting somebody else. I'm pretty certain she didn't leave me for somebody else. It's inevitable she'll meet somebody else and I'm thinking no matter how much time passes with NC, if I run into her and she's with somebody else, I think I'll be back to square one. I'm not looking forward to it. I'm not sure what I'll do with myself. I've been feeling pretty strong but I think that's because, it's been "out of sight, out of mind". I agree with diver. I'd feel as if I'd feel like I was just stuck in the corner and discarded even more at that point. Well, doesn't that just suck!! So, anybody have some sort of insight??? GW
Nedved28 Posted June 27, 2006 Posted June 27, 2006 I to think i could be back to square one when i find out my ex has moved on and met another guy. I hope not but i find them the most difficult thoughts to deal with and their the thoughts that have haunted me the most since we broke up!! i agree with GW7147 that out of sight and out of mind is the best way to deal with it and think but its sooooo hard!!! Their very diffiucult thoughts just to shut out of your head!! As with everything though i guess with time the sad awful thoughts will be come less and less!! I hope so fo all our sakes!!
Author fabulousgal Posted June 28, 2006 Author Posted June 28, 2006 I wish we all lived in the same city, then I'd throw us a soiree with martinis and lounge music so we could realize how cool we are...and how wack "they" are.... On another note, I don't know WTF I'll do when it happens, I mean I've dated since but not by choice, if you get what I am saying....wish it were that person and no one else. But whats a fabgal to do? I don't date much so when I do and I meet someone that is special, I get excited. Oh well nothing wrong with being single, I was forever and a day between old ex and new ex.....just wish it hadn't come to this. Hopefully I won't have to see this dreaded thing for some time.
Pantero Posted June 28, 2006 Posted June 28, 2006 Just as all others have been saying; there is no way to prepare. All you can do is brace yourself for the torrent of emotion it's going to bring. And that's only if you take pains to find out or if you find out through the grapevine. My own situation, some people wondered why I didn't start dating...albeit almost right away. Of course, the concept of "TOO f***ING BUSY WORKING" was lost on most of the drunkards I find myself hanging around with from time to time... My ex hasn't started dating as far as I can tell, or perhaps (my situation with mutual friends) she may have gone back to her ex (we got together after her ex ended a year and a half long relationship with her - of course, hormones took over and the "DANGER: POSSIBLE REBOUND" sense was non-functional since all the blood rushed out of my head and went elsewhere...). If she has gone back to her or found someone, they've done a good job not telling me or hiding it. Plus, I'm still NC'ing. I've shot down any of her attempts of trying to contact me or talk to me even in person. I don't know and to be honest, I don't want to know. I suggest you try your damned hardest to do the same because it's going to kill you on the inside.
Nedved28 Posted June 28, 2006 Posted June 28, 2006 That soiree with martinis and lounge music sounds good fabulousgal!! reckon we could all do with that!!! name the date and time and i'l be certaintly be there!! But yeah Pantero is right!! Best way to maybe deal with it is to do your damned hardest to find out!!! Not easy but as usual a strict NC should save most of us from finding out!! I guess word always get back at some stage but hopefully by then we'le be all well over our ex's and worrying about another heartless lover!!!
riobikini Posted June 29, 2006 Posted June 29, 2006 FB, below are some links which may help you. I believe they may be worth a look...they are some of my previous replies to LS'ers in the past. Take care. (Smile) -Rio The Big Picture http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=707960#post707960 Sharing What You've Learned http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=706475#post706475 Just A Little Denial http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=705703#post705703 Transitioning http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=705534#post705534 Mechanisms of Moving On http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=704312#post704312 Dealing With After-effects of Being Left Hanging http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=703338#post703338 Residual Emotions http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=703124#post703124 Getting Back 'Out There' http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=703078#post703078 In Love With Someone All Wrong For You http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=701928#post701928 Cutting Through The Drama http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=701827#post701827 Question About Online Dating & LInk to a Related Post http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=707850#post707850
Pink Amulet Posted June 29, 2006 Posted June 29, 2006 I had a s***ty dream my ex was marrying Heather Graham last night. I was for some reason the flower girl???? Although a far stretch, this is the only thoughts of him seeing someone else I have had... I just avoid all places he ventures, so it will never happen...
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