Author theused5 Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 thank u cecelius morrigan and especially perfectlee u guys are the only ones who actually have good insites on the situation. thanks for the tips i really need to talk to her about this....just out of curiousity who thinks i should stay with her and who thinks i should move on? Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Haha! So for a woman to have had sex before she met you is the same as a guy refusing to get a job or being a loser. Nice. Maybe and maybe not. I'm saying that people have all kinds of ways of evaluating potential mates' qualities and I don't see that its any more shallow or improper for a dude to decide that a girl with a huge body count or wacky penthouse letters stories in her past isn't g/f material than it is for a woman to decide that a man who has no job and can't provide a living isn't b/f material. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Maybe and maybe not. I'm saying that people have all kinds of ways of evaluating potential mates' qualities and I don't see that its any more shallow or improper for a dude to decide that a girl with a huge body count or wacky penthouse letters stories in her past isn't g/f material than it is for a woman to decide that a man who has no job and can't provide a living isn't b/f material. I don't agree with your particular example, but I agree with the theory. Standards are standards. There are things we can live with, and things we can't, and we have to be true to ourselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Addictedtolove Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 What I'm wondering is why she would boast about in front of friends if she wanted to not come off as a slut. Saying those things in front of her friends and boasting about being double teamed is slutty. I'm not calling her a slut, I'm saying she acted like one. She's obviously got a big ego because this happened to her and in order to keep you she like to keep you on a leash and DEFINITELY make you insecure. So shut her up. If you guys really have such a great relationship, she'll stop talking about it and putting it into a positive light. So she liked it, big deal, it's over now. Girls can't tell the future, what they did in their past they can't change, so you shouldn't be thinking you need a more inexperienced girl. unless you have a preference for that i suppose. As for staying with her, sure! Though you say your relationship is great, this is obviously one of those things that is really small but bothers you a lot. It happens with everyone. She hasn't done anything but said things that make you uncomfortable. It's not like she did that with them when she was with you right? Don't be so picky, if youre this insecure, keeping the girl youre with is probably best. But if you just can't get over it, let go and get over her. It's not worth going crazy over something that's already been done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author theused5 Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 appreciate the oppinions it's seriously helping alot i really like the last post too. it's really hard for me to talk about this situation with her just because.. i cant explain it but being able just to hear other peoples opinions good and bad seriously helps so thank you Link to post Share on other sites
PerfectLee Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Well, like i said, my g/f didn't actually sit down and talk to me, she said it during a drunken state, where I walked away and said "I'm with YOU now, You're all that matters to me. I'm not going to tell you to get over it, because your feelings are your feelings, but I will tell you that I no longer think about my ex's nor do I remember them especially after meeting you! So take me or leave me-cuz I'm the best damn thing that's ever happened to you!" Damnit-I just wish your g/f would at least say that to you-it would reassure you & put all this to rest. I know you feel like you're in competition & you don't even know with whom! 14 months is a long time now-a-days to be in a monogamous relationship, but realistically, 14 months is a short time and you can't expect to have perfect communication. It just takes time theused5! Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
j.carsey Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 When we first started going out we talked alot and i found out before we started dating that she had a one nite stand and gotten double teamed by two guys Hey everyone can come to their own conclusions. This thread is nothing but a bunch of personal opinions and the only one that matters is yours. If it bothers you too much, end it. If you can get over it (and think she has cleaned up her act) then maybe you should stick with it. One friend of mine since highschool was potential dating material, I thought, until I found out that she routinely gets stoned out of her friggin tree and does things like foursomes while on coke binges. Hmmmm. Would I sleep with her, yes (lol who wouldn't), but I wouldn't want a relationship with her. I just think she is too prone to do stuff like that again. OTOH another ex girlfriend used to do coke, drink way excessively and was sexually promiscuous (possibly had drunken group sex but never found out for certain). In her case I really believed all of this stuff was behind her, i.e. she had no desire to do it any longer. We had a fantastic relationship, her past did not bother me but it definitely would have if I thought she was still involved or wanted to be involved in activities I find disgusting And hey I love the replies from the board's womyn I think catgirl is hot... are you interested in a threesome with another girl? msg me thanx Link to post Share on other sites
j.carsey Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Or, you could stay and use this opportunity to explore fantasies that you have with her. If she'll tag-team two guys, she is probably up for pretty much anything. But if that's not you, split. I'm glad somebody mentioned this. Honestly, you could probably get a threesome going just find out what kind of girl she can tolerate and then go to a bar and pick up one (the foursome-girl told me how to do this, you find an attractive girl and say hey my girlfriend thinks you are very attractive come drink with us). If she's game she will get the message. When in Rome right Link to post Share on other sites
blue636 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I'm going to echo the sentiment and say that if it bothers you that much, you should probably end it. What do you want from her anyway? What can she possibly do about it now? It's in the past. It's not like time machine exists. What -- you want her to apologize for it and then tell you that you were double the fun that her double bang was? This is not an issue with her, as far as I can see it. It's an issue with your insecurities. Like you said yourself, how can you compete with that? I didn't know your girlfriend was a prize that was to be competed for. Link to post Share on other sites
The Studmuffin Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 hey, man, TheUsed5! I just wanna say I know how you feel. And I can see how MANY of the replies in this post are not very understanding and useful. I wish I had some good solutions for you, stuff that could fix things. But I don't. The last two girls I was emotionally involved with told me stuff about their past that hurt me very deeply. Not for any special reason, you know, just stuff about their sexual past, not even anything very "hard-core". But still it hurt me unimagineably. I came to the conclusion that it was me that had issues about this. I said to myself "She can have whatever past she wants and have whatever fantasies she prefers. And if simple stuff like that hurts you, than that's your manly pride being hurt." So I know for sure that there isn't a quick fix to this. It's stuff that goes sort of deep, I guess. I just puckered up and went out there and did some things good for my manly pride. I went and had some adventures. And I think actually that was good for me. It's the stuff that they have done and I haven't (but want to do) that hurts me. I guess even though we don't want there is this bitter competitive struggle going on between a boy and girl... So I guess you maybe don't have the same adventure desires as me, so that's not gonna work for you. But that's my story. And I know how you feel. I hope you make a decision that you're content with. Good luck! And tell me how it goes. I would like to know! Link to post Share on other sites
dprelz Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Give me a break. The only women that defend things like this are complete sluts themselves. Getting tag-teamed by two guys and then bragging about it is NOT a very good sign, any way you slice it. There is no future with this girl because of that. Imagine in 10 years she is kissing your son before he goes to school and your thinking about that situation as she is doing it. It's never just going to go away. For the classy ladies that will reply, refer to this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slut Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Oh my... well this happened to me too ... i was a virgin and the girl already had 6 partners before me (she was 19yrz old).. she lied to me from the start and i knew it but it didn't really bothered me. I always wanted an experienced girl so it was allright and i was actually quite happy because i knew it was going to be fun in the bed. Before we were a couple i tricked her for fun into a internet poll/form about sexuality that would send the results back to my mail. After she finished it the damn thing showed her that she was tricked and where the results are send. She was like : Holy s*** no ... no i'm so ashamed... I was like why?? What can be so bad about it??? I read it and somehow my mind stoped at the "Have you ever had a threesome" and there was stated yes. I asked her if it's true and she said of course yes. Somehow I coudln't understand it and my mind started doing weird s***. Horrible horrible unrational feelings of being sad and heartbroken. She was the sweetest thing.. the sweetest girl you can imagine .. and when i imagined my sweety having a disgusting f*** (that's how she described it) it totaly made me feel sick and ill and disoriented. But she said she enjoyed it. Also said that one of the guys who did it with her regreted it later because he had some feelings for her. Those guys were actually much older than her and one of them was her ex and actually bisexual (no it wasn't the ex who regreted it later). It's really really hard to get over it. It made me totaly mad, it made me mad at her because i was asking myself .. what the hell was she thinking?? How could she do such a thing? Well hard to say.. she's very sensitive and her first boyfriend hurt her ALOT! That bastard was beating her and left her after 2 years. Then she had a big crush on one guy at her school but it didn't work out so she was left very very heartbroken. That was the time when she got really promiscous and for example just day after high school graduation she f***ed with a guy that she talked over internet. She did ALOT of wrong things then. I mean she even broke few hearts.. one guy really loved her very much and was a very kind person. Then Was dating 3 guys at the same time... etc etc. A bad girl?? Well no .. a bit bitter and confused .. i know why she did all the things... i can understand it.. and i told her that she has throw her past away if she wants to have a relationship with me because there's many weird skeletons looking at me from her closet. She was quite defensive from start but then she understood it and also told me : Why haven't we met much sooner?? I'm not naive.. i love her and there are 100000x things that are so wonderful about her ... she only needs a bit time to ease her mind.. being naive is something i don't know .. So guys... if the woman is worth it .. FIGHT.. FIGHT FOR HER.. Fight for your damn love.. you'll beat your fears but you really have to want it.. the girls are beautiful flowers and when you treat them right they will bloom into something even more wonderful. And women.. don't blame the guys if they have trouble getting over your "dark pasts".. it's always the good caring guys who want to love you.. they're not your enemies.. the enemies are the ones they just want to exploit your body and you want to exploit their.. if you want love then watch who you let into your pussy.. if you want to have sex all the time then ok.. do what ever you want.. but don't come crying when the guys will always leave you... in the end you will only hate yourself... You see this is not always about our fears, jealousy and etc.. this is one of the nature's reflex for us to choose the correct partner for life ... you don't understand it... men are different. But if a man is a weak loser then he'll never be able to fight it and will loose maybe the biggest luck in his life. Now really.. how many promiscious men or women have stable nice relationships??? How many promiscious men or women do really want to have stable nice relationships?? It's all clear why these kind of situations happen. You don't understand it?? Well if not then you can probably forget dreams about tushy mushy romantic love because you're just not the right type... Link to post Share on other sites
animeangel Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Do you care about her? Do you like her? If so look past her well past b/c that is what it is. The past is niether here nor there. I would tell her though that her talking about it bothers you. But if you care about her basically just get over it Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 A girl that really brags about it is very very inexperienced. I mean the animalistic man in me would like to f*** 5 women every single day. But what would happen if I had a chance to do it? Simply i WOUDLN'T !! Why??? The best feeling in my life I get from love with one partner. Just a simple hug from my gf is 1000x better than any of the sex i experienced before. Yeah yeah i know .. love will fade over time.. BUT still ... i would never ever go to things like threesomes and other s*** to spice up our life. Why?? The love would fade even much faster and there's no way that my subconscious would feel respect for my love if I let her do s*** with other man or if I did s*** with another woman. You say i'm not that kind of type?? No s*** people we're all almost the same. I jerked off to 1 000 woman in my life. Basicaly it's like I had sex with all of them. It really isn't any different. It's the intelligence that tells us not to do things our animalistic sides would do. Our intelligence is here to stop us and tell us that sex just isn't worth it to make future problems. It's like with drugs.. i mean it's a great feeling when you take drugs .. but what about the after effects? Was it worth to destroy your life just because of 20 min every day of the "glory feeling" ?? Hmm?? People who understand this mechanism are ussualy much more happy and successful in their life. The difference between smart and stupid people is that the stupid people do not want to do things that smart people do. They just do not want to think about consequences. Or just ain't capable enough to know what the consequences would be. If they knew them then why are stupid people doing stupid s*** all the time and get smacked in their faces because of their stupid actions?? That girl is on a thin ice. She might get it later. But she isn't ready for a relationship. Sorry but she's stupid... Link to post Share on other sites
Author theused5 Posted June 16, 2006 Author Share Posted June 16, 2006 ok so i tried to talk to her but i just cant its too hard to bring that up out of the blue.i do agree with most of you on how that it was disgusting of her to do and to brag about it was a horrible for my "insecurities" i'll never get over this situation butidont want to break up with her. i've never felt so comfortable with n e one else before and we connect on almost every level but this situation she put me in months ago will always be on my mind to some extent its just gonna be an issue thatwill cause problems in the future but i cant control that. hopefully somehow i will get over this or get brainwashed or something its ridiculous how much i think about it but thats just who i am ad thats not gonna change.. 3 Easy Steps to Work at Home Now! Link to post Share on other sites
scrybe74 Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Get over it or get out. Women/Men are free to do what they wish as long as they are consenting adults. If you think her doing this makes her a 'slut' then find a 'nice' girl that suits you. Obviously something about her is keeping you involved and you can't seem to let go of her - so let go of the anxiety about it and move on. Love her or leave. If you stay...stop trying to 'compete' with her past and create something special with you two - something she's never done before...get creative! On the other matter - her bragging about it. That's just not nice. It doesn't matter to me whether it was 2 guys, 20 guys or a priest - bragging about past sexual partners IN FRONT OF YOU in public is just rude and inconsiderate. If you've told her that it hurts your feelings that she says these things in public then you're not getting basic respect yourself and...surprise...surprise....MOVE ON! Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Get over it or get out. Women/Men are free to do what they wish as long as they are consenting adults. If you think her doing this makes her a 'slut' then find a 'nice' girl that suits you. Obviously something about her is keeping you involved and you can't seem to let go of her - so let go of the anxiety about it and move on. Love her or leave. If you stay...stop trying to 'compete' with her past and create something special with you two - something she's never done before...get creative! On the other matter - her bragging about it. That's just not nice. It doesn't matter to me whether it was 2 guys, 20 guys or a priest - bragging about past sexual partners IN FRONT OF YOU in public is just rude and inconsiderate. If you've told her that it hurts your feelings that she says these things in public then you're not getting basic respect yourself and...surprise...surprise....MOVE ON! Pretty much have to agree here. As for the bragging, thats just plain disrespectful and I wouldn't tolerate it. I'd leave after that happened a second time. One really doesn't brag about one's past conquests in front of their current lover and expect to have that current lover very long. Link to post Share on other sites
sodakki_lov Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 These r purely my opinions< Granted, everyone has diff kinds of lifestlyes, but not all of the mature kind. If u want a good life for the future, you wouldnt indulge in these kinda one night stands, if u r jus plain sexually active you should find a serious partner. When u finally want to settle down and start a family in e future, havin al these sexual baggages wil cause your spouse to lose faith in u right frm e start. Whats worse, wif your history, you wil hav to settle for a partner that shares your history and doesnt respect u.> To used5: Ask youself if u havin the relationship wif her jus for the fun of it, or u wan some1 that u would wan to spend ur future wif. If it hurts u so much, jus go for break up, or u might hav to deal wif more of her one night stands or even worse, STDs in e future. She obviously doesnt respect her body enuf to treat it well (hav u heard of any self-respecting girl go for one night stands wif two guys and then bragged bout it?), her expectations for a relationship is diff frm u, u however seem lik a gd sincere guy to worry bout ur gf's past and not think "ahh, so she had a few partners b4, so that means i can easily gt some frm her too, then i'l end e relationship when tings turn stale,"so i say u deserve better, dont let her bring u down. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 Well, if it bothers you this much maybe you should end it. Those are really your choices, get over it or end it. I am of the opinion that the past is the past, but if you are having trouble letting it go that's not fair to her or to you. You both deserve to be in relationships with mutual respect and it sounds like you're having a hard time respecting her. What an attitude problem you have! You clearly have an issue with men by the sounds of it. The past is the past you are right but his girlfriend has actually boasted of her 3 some in front of the guy that can only be viewed as highly disrespectful and it may well be that she actually enjoys making him jealous. Would you think it acceptable for him to start boasting to her about all the girls he slept with and found more of a turn on than her? No, didn't think so! Link to post Share on other sites
Author theused5 Posted June 19, 2006 Author Share Posted June 19, 2006 i really agree with the post above me... but heres the scoop ok so i finally had the balls to bring up the situation and whats been bringing me down lately. surprise surprse she didnt care. she didnt even feel bad for anything she just said that was a long time ago get over it. she somehow turned that situation around on me and now wants to give me space... haha i knew this was gonna happen. every relationship that i get in a girls solution to everything is "we need space or we should take a break." now i'm just angry. never broke up with this girl yet but if we do i'm def not the type of person to get back together with an ex over and over again cuz its a never ending circle. 3 Easy Steps to Work at Home Now! Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 i really agree with the post above me... but heres the scoop ok so i finally had the balls to bring up the situation and whats been bringing me down lately. surprise surprse she didnt care. she didnt even feel bad for anything she just said that was a long time ago get over it. she somehow turned that situation around on me and now wants to give me space... haha i knew this was gonna happen. every relationship that i get in a girls solution to everything is "we need space or we should take a break." now i'm just angry. never broke up with this girl yet but if we do i'm def not the type of person to get back together with an ex over and over again cuz its a never ending circle. 3 Easy Steps to Work at Home Now! Say good riddens to this chick. She has no respect for you. A slut like this should never be called your girlfriend. You use chicks like this for a good time. Thats what they want anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 What an attitude problem you have! You clearly have an issue with men by the sounds of it. The past is the past you are right but his girlfriend has actually boasted of her 3 some in front of the guy that can only be viewed as highly disrespectful and it may well be that she actually enjoys making him jealous. Would you think it acceptable for him to start boasting to her about all the girls he slept with and found more of a turn on than her? No, didn't think so! Did you even read what I posted? Your post makes no sense, and has nothing to do with what I said. You are attacking me for no reason. Who is it that has the issue? And sack up and log in if you're going to attack someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Tim'sAngel Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Did you even read what I posted? Your post makes no sense, and has nothing to do with what I said. You are attacking me for no reason. Who is it that has the issue? And sack up and log in if you're going to attack someone. Thats dumb Catgirl!! Then we would know who they were and be able to attack them back and they would have to actually face up!! Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Thats dumb Catgirl!! Then we would know who they were and be able to attack them back and they would have to actually face up!! Internet bullies are super scary, aren't they? Link to post Share on other sites
MarnieGirl Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 why do you have to talk about it with her, anyway? this isn't a conversation you need to have. her past is her past...what is there to talk about...the gory details? why would you want to? you have the information you need to make a decision. adding anything else to it is only going to cause bigger harm to you and will result in the same ending anyway. basically, either accept it and get over it or move on and let her move on too. Link to post Share on other sites
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