Bubster Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 Hi everyone. I was in a very short relationship (4 months) which ended back in September, and have been experiencing problems since then. Every time I think I’ve made it (just over a week of NC) I would get an urgent msg. Ever since I first met this girl, I noticed some red flags, but never knew what they would lead to. She ate like once a day (sometimes not even), slept sometimes for like 2 hours (yet had energy, and blamed it on her baby daughter), never had money in her bank account (literally threw money away), above normal sexual apatite (I’m leading to something here ok!), sometime hard to keep up with, her bother was on some sort of medication for depression, recently became an alcoholic again (she becomes really weird when she is drunk, I’ve never seen it before, I cant describe it), recently gained weight for no reason, and recently (y NC was broken) unbearable to live with. Her parents threw her and her daughter out. What I’m leading to here is that I suspect (actually I know) she has bipolar. I can pinpoint her mania, and her depression. All the symptoms listed on websites perfectly describe her, all accept suicidal thoughts (I don’t know if she has them, and I worry if she does). I’m not blaming our break up on this or her; it’s the post breakup behavior that is really getting to me. There are so many events I can list, and I can finally see how bipolar could have caused this. I’m not going to list the dramas anymore, there are way too many to list. By the end of Feb, I’m starting university again, and I don’t want to fail again, so I msg’d her to delete my number, n that I had deleted hers long ago, n that she would have to learn the hard way how to treat the people that loved her. When I sent this msg I did not know about bipolar. I found out about bipolar a few weeks ago, but never looked into it, until I finally suspected that there was something wrong with the ex. Ok anyway to deal with the ex, I have decided to completely ignore her, even if she msg’s to tell me she is on the streets. What I have decided is to contact her parents or the police if she needs help. Now to the problem…me. Now the reason y I told this girl to delete my number is cos as I mentioned before, I noticed something was wrong. She contacted me in a very desperate msg, and the last time we spoke, I notice mania yet again. She has now managed to make me feel like **** again, has gotten me extremely jealous, I’m not sleeping or eating, and I’m very depressed. This is the big problem, I want revenge really bad. I know this is normal, but the only thing that is really keeping me going is the thought that she is going to fail in life, and she is going to need me again. I truly think that I’m crazy. I found out she is getting a cash job n I wanted to tip off her child payment agency. I even want to give the father of her child a tip off that he is the father (she told me he is a physco, n he hates her).I don’t know, I want her to suffer the consequences for hurting me yet again. I was doing better, n she knew bout it. I think how because she is very irresponsible with sex, she’ll mother another child. And this 29 year old guy she is moving in with (she is going to b renting a new house, this guy breaks up with his gf, n needs a place to live, n she needs help with the rent) is going to b a weirdo, n yea. My moods do change, I know that I’ll go back to worrying bout her (as I type this!), yes I openly admit, event though I haven’t known her all that long, I love her like a sister, but yea I’ll do things to her a brother wouldn’t normally do She knows this, she trusts me a lot (I told her I don’t trust her any more), n I got to tell ya its not a show I put on, her and her daughters safety is most important to me, and I just cant lie, anything she asks me is the absolute truth. So yea I’m not really sure what I’m asking, do u think I’ve lost the plot? Am I handling the bipolar situation correctly? (Its undiagnosed, and her parents don’t suspect a thing) I’m no professional but it does explain EVERYTHING. Oh well, if you got this far thanks for reading.
riobikini Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 Dear Bubster, Stay out of her life. Keep your promise to yourself that you will only call her parents or proper authorities when she appears to be in trouble. Block her phone numbers from your phone (it will cost you a little $$, -but it's worth it). Take a really good shower, get yourself something to eat. Take a deep breath. And click on the links below. Take Care. Yours, -Rio P.S. All of these are well worth the 'read'. Dealing With Extreme Behavior or Illness In A Relationship http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=677116#post677116 NoFoolin's Guide For The Long Walk http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=56954 The Physiology Of Love Emotions http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=690284&postcount=1 Pro-Active Healing From A Break-Up http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=695430&postcount=1 Building Your Self Confidence Back Up http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=658208&postcount=17 Violent or Abusive Partner http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=671199#post671199 Break-up: Getting T-H-R-O-U-G-H I-T!!! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=666271&postcount=1 Withdrawal Stages of Break-up http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=659934 More on: Building Up Confidence After A Break-up http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=656365#post656365 Not Wanting To Let Go http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=674718&postcount=16 Dealing With More Difficult Break-Ups http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=692556#post692556 Playing to Break-up Drama http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=684737#post684737 Left-Over Emotions http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=686039&postcount=4 Transitioning Out http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=699934&postcount=2 Dating Rejection http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=700215&postcount=12 Breaking Away http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=700467#post700467post700467 It Doesn't Work: Making The Ex Jealous http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=700031#post700031 Can't Stay Away From Your Ex? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=699978#post699978
Author Bubster Posted February 4, 2006 Author Posted February 4, 2006 Thanks for your reply Riobikini. I've been worried all today about how to deal with this. In a few days I’ll be back to normal and concentrating on my life. I know how to deal with these feelings. I do get better with time. The problem this time is I'm the only person that suspects bipolar, and I didn’t know that it could lead to suicide, or self harm. I got along with her parents, and I gotta let them know about it. It’s just the way I am now; they’ll think I’m crazy as she is to. They do care about her, but she must’ve done, or said something to really hurt them, in order to kick her out. She is a manic right now, and I know depression is around the corner. If something happened to her, it would scar me for life. There is no one in her life for her to turn to. We started speaking last week because she was really depressed, felt stuck, and alone. I normally don’t reply, but I noticed something was wrong. I’ve just decided that I’ll leave it until I start feeling more relaxed, and can think more clearly. I’ll then decide later if I’ll approach her dad about this (he is a drug and alcohol counselor), I can’t approach him in this state of mind. As for now I’ll be good to myself and stress less. Thanks again, this really helps.
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