E in N Posted August 11 Posted August 11 I recently met a girl and our first date went very well (at least I think so) For our second date she invited me back to her place. We decided to pick up some to-go food and a 12 pack of beer. After dinner, her father and stepmother did a facetime call with her and she asked me to chat with them. About 5 minutes if not less her father asked me to come down to their family Thanksgiving dinner in November. Again, weird to me. This is our second date and I'm already being invited for Thanksgiving?
Sony12 Posted August 11 Posted August 11 1 hour ago, E in N said: I recently met a girl and our first date went very well (at least I think so) For our second date she invited me back to her place. We decided to pick up some to-go food and a 12 pack of beer. After dinner, her father and stepmother did a facetime call with her and she asked me to chat with them. About 5 minutes if not less her father asked me to come down to their family Thanksgiving dinner in November. Again, weird to me. This is our second date and I'm already being invited for Thanksgiving? It is a little weird but some families do stuff like that. It at the very least likely shows she has a nice family (unless they are a group of serial killers.....joking). If she does sleep around her family is probably not aware of it and it shows she at least likes you enough to introduce you to her folks. Doesn't in anyway mean you have to accept the invitation and she might not be big on the idea of you going either. But it at least shows she has a nice family. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 11 Posted August 11 I find it strange as well. You don't know them and they don't know you. They don't know who they are inviting to their family gathering. You are likely a good guy but they could just as well be inviting the next Ted Bundy into their homes. The point is, they are showing a lack of discretion and so is this woman. I personally tread with caution around people who have flimsy boundaries so early on.
Sony12 Posted August 11 Posted August 11 (edited) Did you two end up having sex on that second date? If you continue to get together with her I would watch what you tell her because if she was willing to introduce you to her folks chances are she will be talking about you to them. Edited August 11 by Sony12
Sanch62 Posted August 11 Posted August 11 Sounds like her dad was trying to signal to daughter that he would welcome her to bring a partner when she visits them. They probably really miss their daughter and want to encourage more time with her, so dad went a bit overboard.
lemonicetea Posted August 11 Posted August 11 I think that’s kind of strange too but I think they probably mean well. Like I think the parents are just trying to be welcoming. In any event I think I would proceed with caution around people you don’t know well. Even though it’s probably innocent the lack of boundaries can be a red flag.
Author E in N Posted August 12 Author Posted August 12 21 hours ago, Sony12 said: Did you two end up having sex on that second date? If you continue to get together with her I would watch what you tell her because if she was willing to introduce you to her folks chances are she will be talking about you to them. We didn't have sex on the first date but yes...on the second date we did.
Sony12 Posted August 12 Posted August 12 27 minutes ago, E in N said: We didn't have sex on the first date but yes...on the second date we did. Ok well if you end things now due to the awkward situation she may feel a little used. Thanksgiving is still three months away so you don't necessarily need to worry about that now. If you two genuinely like being around one another and have chemistry just see how these next couple months go. You won't be under any obligation to go to her family's place for Thanksgiving if you don't want to as you are just a guy she has been dating for a couple months. So just date for awhile longer and see how things go and if you realize that you aren't interested in meeting her family then you don't have to.
basil67 Posted August 12 Posted August 12 Did her father know that you've only met her twice? If I got introduced to someone my child was seeing, I'd assume they were secure enough to be an item.
Author E in N Posted August 12 Author Posted August 12 1 hour ago, basil67 said: Did her father know that you've only met her twice? I have no idea. She asked me to come by her place to hang out this weekend. She also texted me about 6 - 7 times today. Mostly about her job. I don't know what's going on here.
bozoclowncox Posted August 13 Posted August 13 2 hours ago, basil67 said: Did her father know that you've only met her twice? If I got introduced to someone my child was seeing, I'd assume they were secure enough to be an item. This is uncomfortable to even read. Its not right
Sony12 Posted August 13 Posted August 13 1 hour ago, E in N said: I have no idea. She asked me to come by her place to hang out this weekend. She also texted me about 6 - 7 times today. Mostly about her job. I don't know what's going on here. Sounds like she is a little needy. Yes some will text that much. If that much communication isn't for you it's probably best for you two to part ways.
bozoclowncox Posted August 13 Posted August 13 1 hour ago, E in N said: I have no idea. She asked me to come by her place to hang out this weekend. She also texted me about 6 - 7 times today. Mostly about her job. I don't know what's going on here. depends on what the job text was about. Sometimes people are not compatible but they want a connection so they put to much pressure on the person the connection is with. Sometimes people need to walk away. I am reading a book on what walking away looks like. It is amazing people don't know what it looks like
lemonicetea Posted August 13 Posted August 13 (edited) Yeah this is getting more and more iffy to me. Sure there are some people who just like to talk a lot, but that could also mean that she is really possessive of you. If I were you I would consider backing out before it escalates. Do you know if she was looking for a long term relationship or just something causal? Edited August 13 by lemonicetea
Author E in N Posted August 13 Author Posted August 13 8 hours ago, lemonicetea said: Do you know if she was looking for a long term relationship or just something causal? Romance I have an update. She told me "for now" she just wants to be friends. 1
Sony12 Posted August 13 Posted August 13 6 minutes ago, E in N said: I have an update. She told me "for now" she just wants to be friends. Probably for the best. Good chance she was having the same feelings of uneasiness that you were having. Do you know much about her dating history? Has she dated a lot?
Author E in N Posted August 13 Author Posted August 13 6 minutes ago, Sony12 said: Probably for the best. Good chance she was having the same feelings of uneasiness that you were having. Do you know much about her dating history? Has she dated a lot? 6 minutes ago, Sony12 said: Do you know much about her dating history? Has she dated a lot? Nothing really. The only thing she has told me up to this point is she was in a situationship with a guy and that ended in April.
Sony12 Posted August 13 Posted August 13 (edited) Ok just curious if she dates around a lot or if it's a little more rare for her to get involved with someone. People who don't date as much tend to fall harder when they do fall. She likely though wouldn't have invited a guy back to her place and drank beer and had sex with him on the second date if it was something she wasn't accustomed to doing. Edited August 13 by Sony12
Author E in N Posted August 13 Author Posted August 13 (edited) 2 hours ago, Sony12 said: Ok just curious if she dates around a lot or if it's a little more rare for her to get involved with someone. People who don't date as much tend to fall harder when they do fall. She likely though wouldn't have invited a guy back to her place and drank beer and had sex with him on the second date if it was something she wasn't accustomed to doing. I agree. I will go to her place this weekend and see how things go. Maybe her and I can be friends...maybe it will just fizzle out. No expectations. I don't feel good at all about having sex with her on the second date. It's not my thing and I'm a bit disappointed in myself. Edited August 13 by E in N
ExpatInItaly Posted August 14 Posted August 14 9 hours ago, E in N said: I will go to her place this weekend and see how things go. Maybe her and I can be friends Are you really looking for a friend, though? If you are going to her place with the hope that she will eventually change her mind, I would cancel these plans. I would also ask yourself if it will feel good to be her friend when she meets someone else she does want to date. It doesn't make sense to waste your time like that.
Sony12 Posted August 14 Posted August 14 (edited) I am a little surprised that she introduced you to her parents if she was that quick to say I just want to be friends. Who knows though. Her dad inviting you over for the holidays might have been just as surprising to her as it was to you. She may have intended for her parents just to say hi to a new friend of hers and lo and behold he gets invited over for Thanksgiving. Edited August 14 by Sony12
Author E in N Posted August 14 Author Posted August 14 8 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Are you really looking for a friend, though? If you are going to her place with the hope that she will eventually change her mind, I would cancel these plans. I would also ask yourself if it will feel good to be her friend when she meets someone else she does want to date. It doesn't make sense to waste your time like that. Thank you for this post. I'm a little groggy this morning but I'm weighing this in now. She sent me a few text messages last night when I was reading in my bed. She talked about her job and asked me how I was doing. I can honestly say texting her back felt no different to me than texting any of my other friends but I didn't feel any personal connection with her at all.
Sony12 Posted August 14 Posted August 14 1 hour ago, E in N said: Thank you for this post. I'm a little groggy this morning but I'm weighing this in now. She sent me a few text messages last night when I was reading in my bed. She talked about her job and asked me how I was doing. I can honestly say texting her back felt no different to me than texting any of my other friends but I didn't feel any personal connection with her at all. It's possible that she is just interested in casual sex.
Author E in N Posted August 14 Author Posted August 14 2 minutes ago, Sony12 said: It's possible that she is just interested in casual sex. Perhaps so. She did ask me some sexual questions on our very first date.
Sony12 Posted August 14 Posted August 14 1 minute ago, E in N said: Perhaps so. She did ask me some sexual questions on our very first date. TryingDating Services Yeah often times when people bring up sex before any fooling around even starts that is usually what they are mainly looking for. I'm guessing you two are late teens/early twenties based on the interaction you described with her parents.
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