ExpatInItaly Posted August 13 Posted August 13 And what has your therapist recommend you do with these intrusive and looping thoghts about your finacée?
Author A Native Posted August 13 Author Posted August 13 2 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: And what has your therapist recommend you do with these intrusive and looping thoghts about your finacée? She actually helped me to find my core fear and also suggested to me to reevaluate the decison marriage and do the cost benifit analysis carefully as it is causing pain for already 8 months. I have been struggling with it since february 2026. It was worse then but for the last 2-3 months it was in moderate level. But 4-5 days before my ocd just spiked. So I came here, to post it. Though I knew it was reassurance seeking. But I cant but hell it.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 13 Posted August 13 I still don't see why you think she cheated on him. Was she still with him when she met you?
Author A Native Posted August 13 Author Posted August 13 (edited) 27 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: I still don't see why you think she cheated on him. Was she still with him when she met you? Actually we net Through arranged marriage system. We belong to south asia.She was trying to leave her ex since middle of 2022. But could not as her ex did self harm took sleeping pills several times. She even blocked him but he did many crazy things. My fiancee felt guilty for his pain, she also feared he may commit suicide and also as it was a long relationship she still felt some feelings for himin those years. It was luke at one moment she was weak for him and at another she was determined to get out. She even apologized to her ex several times but her ex said why she was apologizing. It would be her ex who should be apologize. Now at that point she understood that until she married off to someone she cant get rid of him. It is south asian country and it us difficult. We met in december 2025 and our family agreed to get married off both of us. So we started to talk in december. And after nearly a week later, she told me about her ex, and told me that shfriends her ex her that her marriage was fixed. She also told me that in that time why she could not block or unfriend her ex. Later in January, she told me in details. When she told her ex about permanently block him he said thing like " he cant process the break up. He requested my fiancee to give him some time and keep minimal contact with him as he inferred that it was a matter of life and death to him he literally said please live me be alive. So my fiancee was so much emotional and kept minimal contact with him. In the mean time we got engaged in the last of january. After that she tried to cut off the contact as much as possible but she could not. At last with my support, she blocked him permanently. He did a scene to get unblocked but i supported her and she was able ti keep him block. So She did not cheat with me. The reason i think she cheat is that one of her motivation was a personal issue( safety issue) and one my friend called this as unethical and in broader sense cheating, thats where my mind got stuck. I analyzed many micro detail. Like a thesis paper. . I really am in pain Edited August 13 by A Native
ExpatInItaly Posted August 13 Posted August 13 6 minutes ago, A Native said: The reason i think she cheat is that one of her motivation was a personal issue( safety issue) and one my friend called this as unethical and in broader sense cheating By most definitions, this is not what people consider cheating. I am sure you realize cheating generally implies having some sort of inappropriate contact or relationship with another person during the relationship, which is not what you describe here. 1
Recommended Posts