Hiding me from friends and family and now ghosting me

[Foolforlove82]

35 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Surely this didn't just dawn on you now? 

She does not have a lot of family and close friends here. Her daughters live all around the country and she only really has one friend here and a sister she is not that close with.

[Sony12]

In anycase the ball is really in her court to continue things. While it is odd that people would suddenly start flaking after a year and a half it does happen. Often times its a situation that the individual felt things were becoming more serious then they were comfortable with and instead of just breaking things off they find it easier to just start to disappear. A lot of people find it difficult to reject people so poofing is there way of telling the individual without actually having to tell them. Is it a mature way? No. But it is a way that is much easier for an individual who doesn't do well handling conflict.

Chances are things lasted longer then she probably ever intended for it to last and with her now having some changes in her life such as getting a new house now is likely the right time in her mind to end things (if she intended to).

You are a divorcee while she is a widow. You two were approaching this dating relationship from entirely different angles. Unless her relationship with her dead spouse was basically over already it would have been much more difficult for her to move on then it would have been for you as someone who got divorced. 

She likely enjoys your company and probably enjoys having sex with you if you two have been dating for a year and a half. However just going on dates and giving another guy a blowjob doesn't force her to replace her late spouse with you. Actually turning you into a serious relationship and choosing to move in with you would. And that might just be something that she is not ready for yet and perhaps never will be.

Many of the widows I have gotten involved with have said that it took them years just to become comfortable going to bed with another man. Let alone getting serious with one.

If you are looking for a potential serious relationship I would honestly avoid dating widows if I were you and just stick with divorcees who went through a similar end to their previous relationship that you did. Widows usually have more baggage when it comes to moving on to the next relationship then divorcees do.

 

[Alpacalia]

Yeah, whatever the reason ends up being, ghosting you like this (especially over your birthday) is pretty cold.

I can understand someone not being ready to introduce a partner to their adult child, or even wanting to take things slowly after being widowed. But after 19 months together, discussing moving in, and you being there for her through a difficult time, simply disappearing, I'd be floored!