petee Posted June 30 Posted June 30 What exactly are you going to do with the ring. Did you get her to sign for it as a loan? Whilst it is sad it doesn't mean you give everything back to each other. You need to move on.
Sanch62 Posted June 30 Posted June 30 17 minutes ago, petee said: What exactly are you going to do with the ring. Did you get her to sign for it as a loan? Whilst it is sad it doesn't mean you give everything back to each other. You need to move on. I don’t know the laws where you live, but an engagement ring is not a gift in the US, it’s a contract based on a promise. It’s often something handed down in families or purchased to symbolize a proposal and acceptance of an agreement. The courts view it that way. I’d send both a text and an email that offer her 48 hours to respond with a date and time I can expect to receive the ring back before I file a small claim with her local court. You can list your other belongings in the claim, but you cannot reclaim anything you’ve given her as a gift. Gifts are not contracts, they are freely given. Don’t add anything personal to these messages about the ring and your list of possessions to reclaim, as these will serve as your court documents as proof of your request for the property. You will likely never need to reach the court. Most people want to avoid court and will comply before you file, but if not, you must file or lose credibility. Once served a summons for a court date, most people comply quickly to avoid the need to appear. When you receive your property, you can withdraw the claim. 1
petee Posted June 30 Posted June 30 40 minutes ago, Sanch62 said: I don’t know the laws where you live, but an engagement ring is not a gift in the US, it’s a contract based on a promise. It’s often something handed down in families or purchased to symbolize a proposal and acceptance of an agreement. The courts view it that way. Weddings I’d send both a text and an email that offer her 48 hours to respond with a date and time I can expect to receive the ring back before I file a small claim with her local court. You can list your other belongings in the claim, but you cannot reclaim anything you’ve given her as a gift. Gifts are not contracts, they are freely given. Don’t add anything personal to these messages about the ring and your list of possessions to reclaim, as these will serve as your court documents as proof of your request for the property. You will likely never need to reach the court. Most people want to avoid court and will comply before you file, but if not, you must file or lose credibility. Once served a summons for a court date, most people comply quickly to avoid the need to appear. When you receive your property, you can withdraw the claim. You are only partly correct. it’s possibly a ‘conditional gift, which is as you describe. it could be an ‘unconditional gift’, so the recipient keeps it. or lastly it could be a ‘fault based conditional gift’, where if the guy finishes it, or is at fault the recipient keeps the ring if they want. We don’t know what state they are in, but not all states are the same. Its worth googling if you need more clarity.
stillafool Posted June 30 Posted June 30 15 hours ago, Brokenheartedman12 said: I did, she won’t reply! Even asked if I should give her stuff to someone and nothing!! She isn't replying because she doesn't want to give the ring back. That is not fair to you. She thinks if she keeps ignoring you, you'll give up. I wouldn't if I were you. 1
introverted1 Posted July 1 Posted July 1 On 6/30/2026 at 9:58 AM, Sanch62 said: I don’t know the laws where you live, but an engagement ring is not a gift in the US, it’s a contract based on a promise. It’s often something handed down in families or purchased to symbolize a proposal and acceptance of an agreement. The courts view it that way. I’d send both a text and an email that offer her 48 hours to respond with a date and time I can expect to receive the ring back before I file a small claim with her local court. You can list your other belongings in the claim, but you cannot reclaim anything you’ve given her as a gift. Gifts are not contracts, they are freely given. Don’t add anything personal to these messages about the ring and your list of possessions to reclaim, as these will serve as your court documents as proof of your request for the property. You will likely never need to reach the court. Most people want to avoid court and will comply before you file, but if not, you must file or lose credibility. Once served a summons for a court date, most people comply quickly to avoid the need to appear. When you receive your property, you can withdraw the claim. This is excellent advice. I think the only thing I would add is that you should send your notice via certified mail with return receipt. Then, while you file in court, she cannot claim not to have received your text/email (for example, if she has blocked you). 1
stillafool Posted July 2 Posted July 2 On 6/30/2026 at 9:58 AM, Sanch62 said: I don’t know the laws where you live, but an engagement ring is not a gift in the US, it’s a contract based on a promise. It’s often something handed down in families or purchased to symbolize a proposal and acceptance of an agreement. The courts view it that way. I’d send both a text and an email that offer her 48 hours to respond with a date and time I can expect to receive the ring back before I file a small claim with her local court. You can list your other belongings in the claim, but you cannot reclaim anything you’ve given her as a gift. Gifts are not contracts, they are freely given. Don’t add anything personal to these messages about the ring and your list of possessions to reclaim, as these will serve as your court documents as proof of your request for the property. You will likely never need to reach the court. Most people want to avoid court and will comply before you file, but if not, you must file or lose credibility. Once served a summons for a court date, most people comply quickly to avoid the need to appear. When you receive your property, you can withdraw the claim. I agree this is excellent and valuable advice. OP you should do this today so you can get your ring back. The nerve.
Author Brokenheartedman12 Posted July 4 Author Posted July 4 I feel very lost right now, I made several post the last couple weeks about my fiance and I splitting up. We were together 3.5 years, currently go through no contact for about 3 weeks. I feel very lost without her throughout my days wondering what to do. We did everything together, part of me is hopeful she reaches out sometime, because feeling like strangers right now makes me absolutely sick. The break up was civil and not really any heated words thrown at each other. We did remove each other on socials. This is one of the toughest things I had to do as I was gearing up to be a husband that can support her and our future family. What do you guys do during no contact? Did anyone’s ex ever reach out? She’s being very avoidant atm.
Alpacalia Posted July 4 Posted July 4 (edited) About the hope she might reach out: that hope is normal, but it’s also something to be careful with. Some exes do come back into contact later. Many don’t. And even when they do, it’s often not predictable or on a timeline that helps you heal. All my exes have reached out after we broke up, but I was also always the one to end the relationship and for me, I had no interest in going back. Structuring your recovery around “maybe she’ll come back” tends to keep you emotionally stuck in the same loop you’re already suffering in. Edited July 4 by Alpacalia 1
Author Brokenheartedman12 Posted July 5 Author Posted July 5 It’s hard to accept we use to be together almost everyday to no communication. I don’t want to be strangers, I feel like we ended it and she still has all my stuff too
ExpatInItaly Posted July 5 Posted July 5 4 hours ago, Brokenheartedman12 said: It’s hard to accept we use to be together almost everyday to no communication. I don’t want to be strangers And these are normal feelings after a break-up. It takes time to adjust to not having that person as your constant companion. You're in new territory here and it will take a while before you settle in to that. As for not being strangers, it is often for the best to have that space in the immediate aftermath. It feels foreign and disorienting but you to first acclimate to being apart. After the sting has passed, it may be possible to have some platonic contact again. But in my experience, in time, the desire to maintain some sort of contact often fades anyway. I have a couple exes from long-term relationships that I'm not in touch with anymore. Nothing terrible happened, but we simply moved on with our respective lives and contact naturally fizzled out. I wish them the best, but don't miss having them in my life either.
Author Brokenheartedman12 Posted July 5 Author Posted July 5 Just got a text from a friend, she gave all my stuff to them. This hurts so bad, I love her so much and I respect her. I really hate the fact we just become strangers now. I really wanted her to be the one. I’m going to miss her company and doing our little hobbies together. I feel like I lost my best friend, my love. The hardest part is having to accept this is my reality
flitzanu Posted July 9 Posted July 9 On 7/5/2026 at 2:14 PM, Brokenheartedman12 said: Just got a text from a friend, she gave all my stuff to them. This hurts so bad, I love her so much and I respect her. I really hate the fact we just become strangers now. I really wanted her to be the one. I’m going to miss her company and doing our little hobbies together. I feel like I lost my best friend, my love. The hardest part is having to accept this is my reality i know it doesn't mean anything now, but that acceptance will get easier day by day. you won't notice at first, but eventually you will.
Author Brokenheartedman12 Posted July 9 Author Posted July 9 49 minutes ago, flitzanu said: i know it doesn't mean anything now, but that acceptance will get easier day by day. you won't notice at first, but eventually you will. Do they ever realize they made a mistake? That I was trying to build her up?
Author Brokenheartedman12 Posted July 11 Author Posted July 11 I’m really struggling, I can’t believe after being engaged and together 3.5 years I get radio silence. I accidentally met this other girl who wants me to take her out. I’m enjoying her company and talking with her. Idk if it’s moving to quick, or fair to her. I’m starting to like her but at same time I feel like my ex just left me high and dry. I also don’t want to wait around forever
Author Brokenheartedman12 Posted July 21 Author Posted July 21 Am I overthinking this? A month ago my ex and I broke up. For weeks she would not speak to me. She did not reach out directly but had text my sister. Part of me feels this is a breadcrumb, and she’s kinda regretting her decision? Maybe I’m wrong but I find it strange. She is still friends with my family on social media.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 21 Posted July 21 You're probably over-thinking it, yes. What did she text your sister about?
Author Brokenheartedman12 Posted July 21 Author Posted July 21 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: You're probably over-thinking it, yes. What did she text your sister about? For an engagement after not wishing either a happy birthday it’s very strange to me.
Sanch62 Posted July 21 Posted July 21 Sounds like you’re overthinking it. If she’s friendly with your sister it’s possible to miss a birthday but learn of an engagement and offer congrats on that. Birthdays are so common, a lot of people don’t register those on their radar. Anyone who wishes to contact you is capable of doing so directly. Going through others may be typical for a grade schooler, but adults tend to manage their own business privately with the people they want to speak with.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 21 Posted July 21 3 hours ago, Brokenheartedman12 said: For an engagement after not wishing either a happy birthday it’s very strange to me. I don't think it's strange. A birthday comes every year and isn't always thay notable. An engageent is a much more unique occasion. I can see why she reached out. Given your other threads about this break-up, it seems a stretch on your part to assume she might be regretting ending it. I wouldn't assign any meaning to it other than wanting to congratulate your sister. 1
Author Brokenheartedman12 Posted July 22 Author Posted July 22 I guess what I’m asking is will there be a possibility we speak again since she still values my sister enough to speak to her? I find it crazy 3.5 years talking about a future to go no communication
ExpatInItaly Posted July 22 Posted July 22 4 hours ago, Brokenheartedman12 said: will there be a possibility we speak again since she still values my sister enough to speak to her? I don't think one has anything to do with the other.
flitzanu Posted July 22 Posted July 22 your ex can speak to another person and that has nothing to do with you.
Sanch62 Posted July 22 Posted July 22 10 hours ago, Brokenheartedman12 said: I guess what I’m asking is will there be a possibility we speak again since she still values my sister enough to speak to her? I find it crazy 3.5 years talking about a future to go no communication Way too soon to know. Most people who initiate a breakup don’t want to raise confusion about where they stand. So I would think long range—like really really far into the future, where your paths may cross and there’s no residual concern about leading you on just because she is nice to you. This is why it’s wise to shift your focus towards the person you want to become. Explore interests, build a good social life, sharpen your career skills, tend to your emotional and physical health. Trust that when you meet again in the future, you’ll both have moved forward and beyond the two people who broke up. That’s the best way to consider a potential friendship in the future. 1
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