I changed my mind about lending $, am I a bad friend?

[Gebidozo]

On 6/15/2026 at 4:27 AM, Anonymous said:

Am I being a bad friend?

Yes, absolutely.

Your analysis of the situation is so self-centered and lacks empathy to such a degree that it’s a wonder that person agreed to be your friend for such a long time in the first place.

 

[Acacia98]

On 6/16/2026 at 2:07 AM, Anonymous said:

Yeah, I want to be respected. Thank you for saying I don't owe her the $500.  You see, the way I was brought up is that if you made your bed you lie in it. I've worked hard. I know she has mental issues like depression that she's been dealing with. But, if she made better choices, then maybe she wouldn't be so depressed. And I was fine with how the friendship was going up until now. Am I getting what I need from it? I was, but now I'm expected to pay.. That's what gets me.

The problem is not that she expects you to pay. The problem is that you're stringing her along. And that is an unkind and disrespectful thing to do to someone. Just tell her you're unable to assist her after all, and let the chips fall where they may.

But you can't lie to someone (you essentially lied to her), pretend nothing has happened, and expect her to behave normally toward you when you KNOW she has struggles that you said you'd help with and she doesn't know why you changed her mind. For all she knows, maybe you resent her (which is true), or maybe you're enjoying toying with her.

She asked for your help because you're a friend. People typically ask friends and family for help. As a friend, you should have told her you were not in a position to help financially. It's not too late to do that. Afterward, please leave her alone to figure out her life in the best way she can.

[Acacia98]

On 6/16/2026 at 2:30 AM, Sanch62 said:

Oh, c’mon. You offered it, told her when you would have it for her, skipped your own deadline, and now you want to make her tap dance for it?

That really stood out to me. The tap dancing bit, I mean. There's something uniquely cruel and imperious about expecting her to perform under these circumstances.

@OP, kindly tell this woman that you won't be helping her. Then remove yourself from her life and stick to cultivating friendships with people who are as economically successful as you. You don't seem to have the emotional toolset (including empathy) to handle differences in life situations well.

[Acacia98]

On 6/16/2026 at 2:30 AM, Sanch62 said:

 

Duplicate. Please ignore.

Edited 1 hour ago by Acacia98