introverted1 Posted Monday at 08:53 PM Posted Monday at 08:53 PM On 6/6/2026 at 5:33 AM, babybrowns said: There is nothing romantic about any of this- for example, he has never offered to pay for a single coffee that I’ve had when we’ve hung out. He has never checked that I’ve got back home ok afterwards despite it being late into the night when we’ve parted. This is all despite him being vocal about choosing a ‘nice cafe/ bar that I may like’ each time- that’s as far as the care from him has seemed to go. I fail to see how you jumped from the description above to asserting that he was "pursuing" you. I've had platonic dinners with friends both female and male and, yes, in many cases we go out of our way to find a place and time that is optimal for both of us. It's customary for people to take into consideration the dietary, location, and timing preferences of those they will be dining with. It's not a marker of pursuit. Beyond that, why did you offer to pay for both drinks if you were skint? You yourself are sending a mixed message by doing so. My rule of thumb for dating is this: interested people act interested. I have never had to guess at whether a man was romantically interested in me. I certainly don't think I'd read the behaviors listed in your quote above as those of a man interested in pursuing me. Perhaps it's worth thinking about how and why you misread the situation so badly. 1
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