Most women don't know how to have healthy relationships

[alphamale]

Yep, you can replace the word “women” with “men” in this statement and have it be true as well . . . ask my ex.

Americans in general tend to be a perverse, hypocritical and hedonistic lot who excel at selfishness....it is just the nature of the beast I guess.

[blind_otter]

Americans in general tend to be a perverse, hypocritical and hedonistic lot who excel at selfishness....it is just the nature of the beast I guess.

 

Word, dude.

[Outcast]

This thread is crowded with hypocritical male idiots. And the best thing are people who in other threads rant against beautiful women but suddenly become their best friend and defender, just because another dude is spouting his judgmental views about them.

 

WOULD YOU LET IT GO?????

 

Oh, Slub. I'm so disappointedl

 

women in North American seem to have an entitlement complex, a holdover from the rabid feminist days of the 60s and 70s.

 

This is ridiculous. If you want to blame anything, my vote is not for 'the rabid feminist days' (I thought you were better than that!) but from the assertiveness movement:

 

The next step in human liberation flowed naturally: several books on assertiveness training appeared, starting with Alberti and Emmons (1970) who wrote, "If you must go through life inhibited, bowing down to the wishes of others, holding your own desires inside you, or conversely, destroying others in order to get your way, your feeling of personal worth will be low.

http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap8/chap8e.htm

 

Right there was where this whole business of entitlement, individual rights, etc. began. There's where to lay the blame, not on feminism. SO QUIT BLAMING WOMEN.

 

So what seems to take place is that some North American women want to have the benefits of a relationship but are not willing to put in the effort.

 

Some men are like that and so are some women.

 

Where a strong man was once viewed as authoratitave and astute, now a strong man is seen as a throwback to an earlier, crueller time.

 

That's because men embraced violence and abuse as well as rudeness as characteristics of male 'strength'. The quiet strength of being secure enough to acknowledge your own feelings is not considered 'strength' by those who still equate 'strength' with beating the bison over the head and dragging it home to the cave and then eating, grunting, and belching as the only means of communication.

 

Now, many North American women want their men to be, frankly, pussies; the SNAG type of fellow (sincere new age guy) that's in touch with his feelings (even though he's not wired that way) and willingly puts all his wants, needs and desires on the back burner for the sake of his mate.

 

Garbooge. I agree that people have a sense of entitlement and that there are a lot of women who do, but that's not about the 'sense of entitlement'. From days immemorial, women have been taught that Prince Charming will come along 'TO FULFILL ALL THEIR DREAMS'. If you think men have it bad now, think of your mom and her friends, who would treat your dad like some poor boob who can't be trusted to fend for himself. Look at all the male-female interaction in the 1950s tv shows - yes, the women could be silly but often it was the men who were the real goofs.

 

But because men pretended they were creatures of iron with no feelings, a lot of women grew up thinking men didn't require love or appreciation or any kind of positive input from women.

 

The 'sensitive guy' movement you sneer on is the one telling women that the men they love HAVE FEELINGS TOO and should be treated as though they are people instead of unfeeling automatons. And the women who enter this thread and proudly proclaim they like 'old-fashioned men' or who don't like 'sensitive' guys are the ones, IMHO, who are uncomfortable with the idea that men are actually human and that they deserve respect, care, and love - NOT the way you care for a pet (which is the way men were often considered in the 50s and before) but the way you care for someone you respect as an equal.

[slubberdegullion]

Outcast, you and I agree on much more than we disagree on. F'rinstance:

• Entitlement: Seems though you and I don't see eye to eye on the genesis of the whole thing, but I was referring specifically to that sect of radical feminism which sought (and continues to seek) to put men down, rather than build themselves up;
  
• Strength: To me, a strong man isn't the bison-butting, hair-pulling troglodyte of days gone by. Brute force is a manifestation of weakness, not strength. But it also doesn't mean a comlete abrogation of any sense of self-assurance or fortitude. A whiny pussy for a man won't make any woman happy, but a man of character, internal strength and an ability to control his emotions - especially in a crisis - shouldn't, IMHO, be classified as an unfeeling behemoth.

The only reason I pick on the radical feminist movement - other than it's fun, because it's very satisfying to see radfems froth at the mouth at some perceived slight - is because of the title of the post and the OP comments.

 

If you want to discuss entire social contstructs, or how men have gone from b@st@rds to pussies and back again in less than 30 years, by all means we can talk about that too.

[honeybunch2k5]

It's not only women who make bad choices. I've met the nices guys who have had long term relationships with women who treated them like crap.

 

But I have noticed women reject men who are head of heels and want to treat them like queens so they can sleep around or as they put it more euphemistically "go find themselves."

 

I think some people in this discussion realize why most people have in the relationip problems or no relationship at all. People nowadays just don't want to work on a relationship, they believe you will find 'the one' and magically live happily ever after and things will fall in place.

 

People in general just have a distorted perception of what a relationship should be like.

[whichwayisup]

People in general just have a distorted perception of what a relationship should be like.

 

Yeh and too many people think relationships should be like they are in the movies and/or on TV.

 

Then there are some who follow in the footsteps of "Hollywood" types who jump from one relationship to the next, get married, get divorced, then get married again, divorced again.

 

Seems not too many people are willing to STICK with things and work hard to make it work. Just too easy to walk away and look for someone new.

 

**NOT SAYING ALL are like that, just some.** (clarifying this so noone thinks I'm talking about anybody particular on LS.)

[Outcast]

A whiny pussy for a man

 

I don't know where anybody's finding these 'whiny pussies'. Are they your brothers? Your fathers? Who are these mythical men??

[RainyDayWoman]

I don't know where anybody's finding these 'whiny pussies'. Are they your brothers? Your fathers? Who are these mythical men??

 

oh, they're out there. i dated one last time. he always talked about how the guy i dated before him wasn't a man and never did what he should have, which largely influenced my decision to date this new guy...and then he cried over everything. always sad, always over-sensitive. we couldn't go out to dinner without him looking solemn and me asking "what is wrong" and him saying "i just worry all the time you're gonna dump me." this would come out of nowhere, even we had a great day, great week, whatever.

 

he was definitely a "whiny pussy."

 

yuck.

 

it's one thing to be in touch with your emotions. it's quite another to be a blithering, bawling fool. he was the latter. i don't miss him.

 

i've dated some a-holes, too.

 

luckily, this time, i found one who is balanced. so they're out there too.

[Outcast]

Well of course if you look you'll find one of everything. You can also find the female equivalent - the timid little critter terrified of every shadow. But these are exceptions, not the rule. They aren't out there in droves or anything.

[RainyDayWoman]

Well of course if you look you'll find one of everything.

 

i wasn't looking. he fell into my lap.

 

and then probably cried into it.