Lil Honey Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I think a lot of the problems occur because people sleep with and have a relationship with another person before they actually get to know that person. I can weed out most of the good from the bad simply by talking with them, seeing what kind of friends they have, how they relate to others (and their kids), the words they use . . . All of which is info that takes time to gather. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 This thread is crowded with hypocritical male idiots. And the best thing are people who in other threads rant against beautiful women but suddenly become their best friend and defender, just because another dude is spouting his judgmental views about them. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I think a lot of the problems occur because people sleep with and have a relationship with another person before they actually get to know that person. I can weed out most of the good from the bad simply by talking with them, seeing what kind of friends they have, how they relate to others (and their kids), the words they use . . . All of which is info that takes time to gather. I agree... why the rush? Are people THAT horny or desperate or scared of being alone that they will just rush into a relationship without taking time to get to know someone? Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 This thread is crowded with hypocritical male idiots. And the best thing are people who in other threads rant against beautiful women but suddenly become their best friend and defender, just because another dude is spouting his judgmental views about them. As much as you rail against those who rant about *beautiful, gold-digging, high maintenance, etc.* women I'm just curious: Do you identify with those women in any way? Why is this striking such a chord with you? I put to you that you are either highly insecure or have low self-esteem as evidenced by your reactions to these threads. I hear all the time how men are *this or that* and it doesn't bug me because I KNOW I am not *this or that*. Why are YOU having such difficulty adopting that stance for yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I agree... why the rush? Are people THAT horny or desperate or scared of being alone that they will just rush into a relationship without taking time to get to know someone? Nah, I think it's just easier to try to find a shortcut than to actually put effort into it. Everyone thinks they deserve love, but I rarely hear about people willing to work to create a good foundation. Plain ol' laziness. Not so much desperation. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 This thread is crowded with hypocritical male idiots. And the best thing are people who in other threads rant against beautiful women but suddenly become their best friend and defender, just because another dude is spouting his judgmental views about them. And? Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Everyone thinks they deserve love... To me, this is quite arrogant. I don't believe that people *deserve* love - and by *love* I am speaking of *romantic love*. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 This thread is crowded with hypocritical male idiots. And the best thing are people who in other threads rant against beautiful women but suddenly become their best friend and defender, just because another dude is spouting his judgmental views about them. who are we talking about here LOONEY? I hope its not me....cause if it is there'll be hell to pay Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 And? I think loony is simply projecting here... Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 At the risk of incurring the wrath of a number of well-spoken women on this board, IME Woggle has a good point. I may have worded it differently than him, but if one can cut through the semantics one may find more wheat than chaff. Some - certainly not all, but some - women in North American seem to have an entitlement complex, a holdover from the rabid feminist days of the 60s and 70s. Even those who didn't grow up in that time have been influenced, with or without their knowledge, of the radical mindset that makes the news. For instance, it is now common, when a woman and man of equal qualifications and experience apply for a job, for the woman to be offered the position first because it's expected that organizations are supposed to do their part in reducing the gender gap, especially among corporate managers and leaders. I know this happens for a fact because I've seen it and *gag* actually been a part of it. Another example is the "want it all" mentality. Almost every woman I know, excepting those beyond retirement age, want the career, the family, the kids, the SUV and all the rest, and are damn well pissed off when life doesn't hand it to them on a silver platter. Again, this is not from some vague impression; this is observed fact that I've seen happen over and over again. So what seems to take place is that some North American women want to have the benefits of a relationship but are not willing to put in the effort. Now, before you start warming up the tar and plucking feathers off chickens, let me caveat this by stating that this whole scenario is primarily the fault of males. Where a strong man was once viewed as authoratitave and astute, now a strong man is seen as a throwback to an earlier, crueller time. Now, many North American women want their men to be, frankly, pussies; the SNAG type of fellow (sincere new age guy) that's in touch with his feelings (even though he's not wired that way) and willingly puts all his wants, needs and desires on the back burner for the sake of his mate. Both men and women lose. I don't, for a minute, wish to return to the bad old days when women were expected to be servants and sexual objects. And I don't want men to shoulder the entire burden of bringing home the $$. But understanding expectations of one another, and staying true to who you really are as a human being and what you want out of a partnership, regardless of social influences will go a long way to creating a strong foundation. ok, time for me to shuddup Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 And? Sorry, if you are not able to see the hypocrisy here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted January 13, 2006 Author Share Posted January 13, 2006 The funny thing about SNAGs is that most women secretly don't want them. I hear more and more women wondering where all the real men went. I think that is where this attraction to bad boys has come from. Women want a strong man but they mistake machismo for strength. Many women also secretly test men to see if they have enough backbone. Much of the crap women pull is a test to see if a man will stand up for themselves. In general though I beliebe the women's movement was a good thing. It was in the 70s and 80s when feminism became distorted and men neutered ourselves because that is what we thought women wanted. Now we find out that women want real men. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Another example is the "want it all" mentality. Almost every woman I know, excepting those beyond retirement age, want the career, the family, the kids, the SUV and all the rest, and are damn well pissed off when life doesn't hand it to them on a silver platter. Again, this is not from some vague impression; this is observed fact that I've seen happen over and over again. This is probably the number one thing that I do not understand about people in general... not just women but men too. This friggin' *entitlement complex*. I don't understand why some people do not have the capacity to be happy with what they have instead of always *raising the bar*. Here's a fine example: There is a woman in my office who makes close to $100K/year. She is taking classes in an attempt to *move ahead* in her career. She also rants and raves about how busy her life is and how she has little time for things. She treats her kids like garbage when she talks to them and she pawns them off to camps and other activities during the summer as if she doesn't want to spend any time with them. All she cares about, it seems, is MONEY, MONEY, and MONEY. That's it. She just got married to some rich-ass snot-nose guy who doesn't respect her kids (!) and their relationship seems to be based strictly on economics, not love. In spite of all these riches she comes off as being unhappy and biotchy most of the time. So much for *money buying happiness*, right? She is certainly not a pleasant person to be around. But my thing is this: What is so terrible about making *only* 100K/year? Why can't she be happy with what she already has? I just don't get it... Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Sorry, if you are not able to see the hypocrisy here. How about explaining it instead of taking passive-aggressive shots at those male posters? Some of us do not care for guessing games. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted January 13, 2006 Author Share Posted January 13, 2006 This is probably the number one thing that I do not understand about people in general... not just women but men too. This friggin' *entitlement complex*. I don't understand why some people do not have the capacity to be happy with what they have instead of always *raising the bar*. Here's a fine example: There is a woman in my office who makes close to $100K/year. She is taking classes in an attempt to *move ahead* in her career. She also rants and raves about how busy her life is and how she has little time for things. She treats her kids like garbage when she talks to them and she pawns them off to camps and other activities during the summer as if she doesn't want to spend any time with them. All she cares about, it seems, is MONEY, MONEY, and MONEY. That's it. She just got married to some rich-ass snot-nose guy who doesn't respect her kids (!) and their relationship seems to be based strictly on economics, not love. In spite of all these riches she comes off as being unhappy and biotchy most of the time. So much for *money buying happiness*, right? She is certainly not a pleasant person to be around. But my thing is this: What is so terrible about making *only* 100K/year? Why can't she be happy with what she already has? I just don't get it... Happiness comes from within and people like her don't realize that. I know poor people that are some of the happiest people you could meet and rich people that are miserable. That is why even though I have money I am not extravgent. I don't drive a Benz and I don't wear the most expensive clothes. Financial security and being able to travel are good enough for me. This woman could be a billionare and would still be miserable. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 The funny thing about SNAGs is that most women secretly don't want them. I would say that most women overtly don't want SNAGs Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 And there are just as many men who don't know how to have a healthy relationship. i was going to say something along the same lines. it takes two people to have a relationship (yeah, i know, duh). if it's unhealthy and the relationship remains intact regardless, the "fault" lies with both people, whether they both have/create issues or one tolerates the issues of the other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted January 13, 2006 Author Share Posted January 13, 2006 I would say that most women overtly don't want SNAGs That is a recent thing. Women have finally admitted that they want real men. Years of Oprah and sensitive new age crap have told men other wise for a while though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 To me, this is quite arrogant. I don't believe that people *deserve* love - and by *love* I am speaking of *romantic love*. I don't understand what you are trying to say...Do you mean, that 'some' people do not deserve to have romantic love in their life? Why is it arrogant? Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I don't understand what you are trying to say...Do you mean, that 'some' people do not deserve to have romantic love in their life? Why is it arrogant? Perhaps instead of saying *deserving of* I should be saying *being entitled to* romantic love. Having a sense of entitlement to me is very arrogant and is a turn-off. I don't believe that I am *entitled to* romantic love. Romantic love is something that is earned, IMO. Same thing with sex - I am not *entitled to* have it... and I wouldn't even think of having it outside of a relationship. An FWB situation is something I would never consider. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I don't understand what you are trying to say...Do you mean, that 'some' people do not deserve to have romantic love in their life? Why is it arrogant? I think what Smoochie is saying is that aspects of romantic love are not something that one should just wait for the universe to deliver; it requires commitment and work. It's another part of the whole entitlement complex. I often see posts that have things such as, "you deserve better" and "he/she does not deserve you" and whatnot. But IMHO what one deserves is largely predicated on how much effort one puts into it, whether it's their relationship or their work or their friends or personal life or whatever. Obviously, I'm not referring to the aspects of humanity that everyone deserves specifically because they are human and citizens: the right to vote, to be free of abuse, to clean water and food, for examples. But because of the nature of romantic love, where two independent people are involved, what one deserves may be far different than what one gets because of the dual nature of that sort of bond. Then again, maybe I'm full of s***. *edit: Smoochie replied just as I was clattering away on the keyboard. Sorry, Smooch, I didn't mean to hijack your intentions!* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 *edit: Smoochie replied just as I was clattering away on the keyboard. Sorry, Smooch, I didn't mean to hijack your intentions!* No, Slubber, you are spot on with your post. No apologies needed. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I agree that I don't want a wimpy man, who cries more than I do but I do want one that's sensitive to my needs and cares about them more than he cares about his own. Just as I will put HIS needs above my own. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I think most people, without overtly saying it, always include an admonishion that what they deserve is a baseline, when they say something like "you deserve better than to be a girl on the back burner" or something like that. Well yeah, all women deserve more than that, even according to this "you deserve a directly proportional amount of love" theory. Anyways, I hate cry guys, too. Which is probably why I've dated nothing but neanderthals for the past 8 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 For instance, it is now common, when a woman and man of equal qualifications and experience apply for a job, for the woman to be offered the position first because it's expected that organizations are supposed to do their part in reducing the gender gap, especially among corporate managers and leaders. I don’t believe in filling quotas or reverse discrimination. There are some jobs that, as a woman, I wouldn’t want because they are more suited for a man and I think some jobs are more suited toward women. All things equal, I don’t think a man should get a job because he’s a man nor do I think a woman should get a job because she’s a woman. I do believe that IF a woman has the same qualifications, she should get paid the same as a man and I’d be all for a flip of the coin if such a thing as both people, with identical qualifications, were offered the same job. Of course, that doesn’t happen. A good share of what society does puts a bad light on all of us. The weird part is, we do it to ourselves and each other. Another example is the "want it all" mentality. Almost every woman I know, excepting those beyond retirement age, want the career, the family, the kids, the SUV and all the rest, and are damn well pissed off when life doesn't hand it to them on a silver platter. Of course, some of us women could tell of ex-husbands that want the career (maybe), want a family (that they don’t have to invest much time in), a trophy wife who they can ignore, and a big-screen TV. (Edited to add: More likely to ignore the wife that isn't a trophy . . . ) But that’s a whole ‘nuther topic, huh? :wink: So what seems to take place is that some North American women want to have the benefits of a relationship but are not willing to put in the effort. Yep, you can replace the word “women” with “men” in this statement and have it be true as well . . . ask my ex. Sorry, if you are not able to see the hypocrisy here Oh, I got your point. But thanks anyway. :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
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