Alpacalia Posted April 22 Share Posted April 22 I went out on one date with this man a couple years ago. Mirroring [UPDATED] - Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy - LoveShack.org As our date came to an end, I kindly declined his offer for a second date. I expressed that I valued our connection as friends, but felt nada romantically. Flash forward a couple of years: We hung out a couple of times as friends. He wanted to clarify if I am still only interested in friends because he wants to make sure he handles his interactions towards me appropriately moving forward. We haven't met up since, but he frequently texts me with random things like invitations to his shows or funny videos. He sent me a clip related to sex out of the blue. It was a spoof on something and it made me laugh and I didn't find it offensive, so I just responded with a smiley face. Then he mentioned wanting to book a hotel for back-to-back shows, and while I thought it was his personal business, I couldn't help but wonder why he was telling me. Since then, he has been flooding my inbox with messages with memes and jokes making our conversation lighthearted and fun. He messaged me before he started the second half of his show, and I wished him good luck. I suppose he's just making small talk. But he's just mostly sharing memes and videos? Normally he's very talkative. I’m not sure if I should be ignoring these messages which I've been doing for the most part but I have responded occasionally. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 If I were sending lots of funny memes and videos with sexual innuendo to a woman and telling her about booking hotels, that would mean I’m interested in that woman romantically. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 11 hours ago, Alpacalia said: .We haven't met up since, but he frequently texts me with random things like invitations to his shows or funny videos.Since then, he has been flooding my inbox with messages with memes and jokes making our conversation lighthearted and fun. But he's just mostly sharing memes and videos? It sounds like you're on his fan mailing list and he sends them to everyone. Like newsletters to stay on his fans radar. Doesn't seem like personal communication. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted April 23 Author Share Posted April 23 (edited) Yeah, I don't think he's sending those messages for romantic reasons. It was just friend dates. I did wonder if he was hinting at being up for 'casual fun' which is why I haven't really responded. If he were interested in more than friendship, I feel like he would be more direct and not just send funny videos and memes. But maybe then he's okay with us now hanging out as friends only? He did infer from the last time we were supposed to hang out that he wasn't sure if meeting up was a good idea in the event that I only viewed this as 100% platonic. So maybe he values my friendship but doesn't feel the need to pursue anything more romantically. Edited April 23 by Alpacalia 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted April 24 Share Posted April 24 7 hours ago, Alpacalia said: So maybe he values my friendship but doesn't feel the need to pursue anything more romantically. Do you value his friendship? It’s really hard for most folks to just turn off attraction. His desire to not meet in person anymore suggests he’s okay with an arms length (I.e. online only) “friendship”, but would have a hard time keeping this romantic feelings at bay were you to meet in person. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted April 26 Author Share Posted April 26 On 4/23/2024 at 5:05 PM, Weezy1973 said: Do you value his friendship? I do value his friendship but I wasn't sure how to navigate this because I've not been in a situation where we went on one date and then became friends after that. My one male friend, never dated or had romantic interest in the other I have had since I was eight, another for 10+ years, never dated, albeit he did tell me a few years after we had been friends that he fell in love. We are still friends but it took some distance and time before we could close that chapter. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted April 26 Share Posted April 26 Some guys will hang around-keep the friendship up in the hope it might eventually escalate to more, I dont mind personally having just friendship- even enjoy brother /sister type relationships on occasion, but it can become draining perhaps where there is an indication that one side wants more and you dont feel that way yourself, you can become bored at the thought of meeting them continuously, Its hard to force attraction either, its either there or its not -Could I call that Za Dater syndrome- you know you cant force attraction or make yourself attracted to someone and vice versa if your not feeling it, 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted April 28 Author Share Posted April 28 Yeah, I mean, everyday he is sending me memes and videos. I feel like sending memes and videos isn't really quality friend time... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bpb2017 Posted April 28 Share Posted April 28 Sounds like he's a comedian? Maybe just a way to keep in touch. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted April 29 Author Share Posted April 29 Yeah. He is very silly and has this za-zoom for life. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted May 5 Author Share Posted May 5 So this past week he has sent me a barrage of memes and videos and it honestly was pretty overwhelming. I've tried to tell him gently to calm down and to not flood me with so much stuff, he said it was just things that he found funny and wanted to share with me. I thought that was that but then I woke up this morning to find several more messages from him, including some new memes and videos as well as some articles about current events. I feel bad ignoring it but I feel like I am being spammed.🤔 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 1 hour ago, Alpacalia said: I feel bad ignoring it but I feel like I am being spammed.🤔 I've removed some people from being able to access me on Messenger for less Sounds like you're at the point of needing to either be very clear or quietly blocking him. If you do choose to communicate further, I suggest you be very direct: "Please stop sending me all this spam. It's overwhelming and I have no interest in it" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted May 6 Author Share Posted May 6 16 minutes ago, basil67 said: I've removed some people from being able to access me on Messenger for less Sounds like you're at the point of needing to either be very clear or quietly blocking him. If you do choose to communicate further, I suggest you be very direct: "Please stop sending me all this spam. It's overwhelming and I have no interest in it" I thought I was (being direct). And he replied, just sharing... hope you're well blah blah. But, afterwards he sent me more. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 11 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: I thought I was (being direct). And he replied, just sharing... hope you're well blah blah. But, afterwards he sent me more. You were direct and kind, but apparently he needs blunt delivery 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 Do you remember the days before FB when people would email each other random stuff? Sounds like he's still in that mindset and hasn't figured out that social media is where you put this kind of stuff. Then it's at the viewers discretion as to whether they follow you. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 On 5/5/2024 at 5:23 PM, Alpacalia said: So this past week he has sent me a barrage of memes and videos and it honestly was pretty overwhelming. I've tried to tell him gently to calm down and to not flood me with so much stuff, he said it was just things that he found funny and wanted to share with me. I thought that was that but then I woke up this morning to find several more messages from him, including some new memes and videos as well as some articles about current events. I feel bad ignoring it but I feel like I am being spammed.🤔 He definitely wants your attention and I guess by saturating you with messages is his way of going about getting it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 On 5/5/2024 at 8:37 PM, Alpacalia said: I thought I was (being direct). And he replied, just sharing... hope you're well blah blah. It seems you're on his fan mailing list. Can you control your social media feeds such as muting undesirable posts? He's not really responsible for your social media. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted May 7 Author Share Posted May 7 25 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: It seems you're on his fan mailing list. Yes, maybe. Albeit, when I went to see his show a while back, he offered to pay for my ticket but I just thanked him and declined, and paid for my own ticket. He bought me a couple drinks and offered me a ride home but I declined. I hardly post on my feed, he's sending it via messenger. I've mostly ignored it for awhile now but he would send several messages each day to where I finally said in messenger that while I appreciate sharing of memes and funny videos (they were unrelated to any shows, just random stuff) I don't have the attention span for the volume. I thought it would stop but then the next day he sent me two more. I watched maybe one or two of the videos, they were stand up comedians, I didn't find it humorous, but again if I say this, there'll be posts on why he finds it funny, or another video, or queries why I don't find it funny. It's been quiet for a couple of days so hopefully it has stopped now. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 Maybe with you being not very responsive, he will get the MESSAGE. It is pretty apparent that he really wants your attention😃 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted May 10 Author Share Posted May 10 On 5/8/2024 at 5:10 AM, happyhorizons said: Maybe with you being not very responsive, he will get the MESSAGE. It is pretty apparent that he really wants your attention😃 Maybe.... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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