Author Yizella Posted February 4 Author Share Posted February 4 5 minutes ago, basil67 said: Hon, if you're going to keep dating other men, I advise you get used to interest coming and then going without having to label someone's behaviour. Unless of course, that behaviour is extreme. There is nothing unusual or breadcrumby in any of this. But you can’t say what wasn’t unusual or breadcrumby to me because I experienced it directly, you didn’t. All you got was a summarized, typed out explanation of what I experienced with him and I don’t mean this to disregard what you said or disrespectfully. Yes, interest comes and goes, I get that and get that’s what happened. That still doesn’t change how I feel personally about his flirting coming off as bread crumbing to me and it’s absolutely nothing wrong with labeling a persons behavior as long as what you label it has reasoning behind it. If someones behavior made you feel a certain way or made you feel that what they did is something specific that affected you, why can’t you label it? It has nothing to do with rather the behavior was extreme or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 OP, there were quite a few flags that you ignored with this guy. You basically just liked the way he looked. Being a single mom, perhaps you should raise your standards and criteria beyond having a fit body and being 6ft tall? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Yizella Posted February 5 Author Share Posted February 5 5 hours ago, Weezy1973 said: OP, there were quite a few flags that you ignored with this guy. You basically just liked the way he looked. Being a single mom, perhaps you should raise your standards and criteria beyond having a fit body and being 6ft tall? Hey. You’re not wrong but I’m only 25. I’m new to being a mother which is something I’m managing pretty well but I can still be a bit shallow. I’m still growing and maturing. I haven’t dated in a while. I don’t mix my dating with my motherhood. I was with my child’s father for years and we’ve been broken up for a year now and I waited in that year to even think about dating again and the guy this post is about is the first guy I actually liked but like you said, it was only surface level. Link to post Share on other sites
Easygoingg Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 I know guys mostly want any woman with a pulse but the way they approach me seems different compared to how I’ve seen other women be approached. When I’m on lunch at work, a guy comes around and sits at the table with me. When I’m doing my job at work, guy customers and co workers stand around talking to me. I’ve had a guy go as far as saying, out loud in front of others, what he would do to me sexually, at work. I’m 21 and have had a co worker in his middle to late 30’s, whose married, sit close to me and bring his face so close to mines as we talked, you would think we were about to kiss. I see plenty of other pretty women at my job, who get attention as well but not in the same way I do. Guys either seem too scared to approach them or when they do, they’re not so straightforward. With me, it’s the opposite. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 (edited) I'm going to wager that the men that approach you think they have a chance with you whereas the other women that don't get "hit on" as much intimidate the men that want to approach them. Edited February 10 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
Easygoingg Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 5 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: I'm going to wager that the men that approach you think they have a chance with you whereas the other women that don't get "hit on" as much intimidate the men that want to approach them. When you say “chance” do you mean a chance to date me or a chance to just have sex with me? Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 10 minutes ago, Easygoingg said: When you say “chance” do you mean a chance to date me or a chance to just have sex with me? Is this something that is bothering you? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 (edited) 23 minutes ago, Easygoingg said: . When I’m on lunch at work, a guy comes around and sits at the table with me. When I’m doing my job at work, I’ve had a guy go as far as saying, out loud in front of others, what he would do to me sexually, at work. What you are describing is sexual harassment. Please talk to upper management or HR. In the meantime please say out loud "this is not appropriate, please leave" then leave the area and tell a supervisor. This has nothing to do with having a chance with you. It's sexual harassment. Period. The other women have probably already told them off or reported them. Edited February 10 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 26 minutes ago, Easygoingg said: I’ve had a guy go as far as saying, out loud in front of others, what he would do to me sexually, at work. I’m 21 and have had a co worker in his middle to late 30’s, whose married, sit close to me and bring his face so close to mines as we talked, you would think we were about to kiss. Never allow men to do this to you. You teach people how you want to be treated. Tell them to "please back away because you're in my personal space." When you don't say something they will think you like it and continue. Do you dress sexy at work? If so, dress more moderately for work and doll it up when you go out. When I was young I wore my glasses and longer skirts to work to deter men, though sometimes that doesn't work either. I saved my glam look for when I went out. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 Well, I don't think you're so concerned with sexual harassment as much as you're concerned these dudes approaching you possibly don't want to ask you out? Unless there is a reason for your obtuse answers just clarify what you mean. Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa Posted February 10 Senior Moderators Share Posted February 10 @Yizella and @Easygoingg are the same member. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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