Skyfirewater Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 Hi, I just had the 2nd date with a very interesting woman and we have a lot in common. Nothing special happened, just talk to know each other. I'm really into her, and I would like to kiss her, but I'm afraid to be very pushy. She's very shy, at least with me. Any recommendations for the next date? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 1 hour ago, Skyfirewater said: Hi, I just had the 2nd date with a very interesting woman and we have a lot in common. Nothing special happened, just talk to know each other. I'm really into her, and I would like to kiss her, but I'm afraid to be very pushy. She's very shy, at least with me. Any recommendations for the next date? Thanks. You have to judge the vibe, but if you think that she wants to kiss you as well seize the moment. If you've been on two good dates theres a better than average chance she's wondering why you haven't done it already. If you get rejected it's an awkward moment but worst case you say sorry you got the wrong idea, enjoy the rest of your night and move on with your life. Generally you have to be brave in these situations. Someone being too afraid to try anything isn't attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skyfirewater Posted December 18, 2023 Author Share Posted December 18, 2023 18 minutes ago, FredEire said: You have to judge the vibe, but if you think that she wants to kiss you as well seize the moment. If you've been on two good dates theres a better than average chance she's wondering why you haven't done it already. If you get rejected it's an awkward moment but worst case you say sorry you got the wrong idea, enjoy the rest of your night and move on with your life. Generally you have to be brave in these situations. Someone being too afraid to try anything isn't attractive. Well, the dates weren't properly favorable to kiss, I think. We just went out 2 times for a long walk. We planning to meet again Thursday, maybe I should then give a try. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 1 minute ago, Skyfirewater said: . We just went out 2 times for a long walk. We planning to meet again Thursday, Can you think of something a bit more romantic for a date? What are your plans for Thursday? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skyfirewater Posted December 18, 2023 Author Share Posted December 18, 2023 Just now, Wiseman2 said: Can you think of something a bit more romantic for a date? What are your plans for Thursday? The thing is that we plan to meet before the Christmas season and we both don't have much time available. So, unfortunately, nothing romantic is expected. Se likes red wine and cannot find a specific bottle. I already got the bottle and the plan is to offer it to her. Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Skyfirewater said: The thing is that we plan to meet before the Christmas season and we both don't have much time available. So, unfortunately, nothing romantic is expected. Se likes red wine and cannot find a specific bottle. I already got the bottle and the plan is to offer it to her. I think inviting her to yours might be a bit forward, if you mean you want to drink the wine with her there. Try and find a bar with good ambience and cosy spaces. From there you should be more comfortable and able to judge the vibe a bit better. And why is nothing romantic expected? You need to progress things yourself, doesn't sound like there's any reason it couldn't happen as long as she's interested. Edited December 18, 2023 by FredEire Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 10 minutes ago, Skyfirewater said: . I already got the bottle and the plan is to offer it to her. What are your plans for Thursday? Hopefully something better than going for a walk or inviting her to your place and giving her wine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skyfirewater Posted December 18, 2023 Author Share Posted December 18, 2023 Just now, Wiseman2 said: What are your plans for Thursday? Hopefully something better than going for a walk or inviting her to your place and giving her wine. Invite her to have a coffee. Actually, there isn't much more that I can do about it. I don't have so much time available. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 How much time do you have available to meet her? An hour? Two? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skyfirewater Posted December 18, 2023 Author Share Posted December 18, 2023 Just now, ExpatInItaly said: How much time do you have available to meet her? An hour? Two? 30 minutes, more or less. Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 2 minutes ago, Skyfirewater said: 30 minutes, more or less. Just wait till after Xmas holiday weekend to do something. for early dating a thing that says to me about kissing is holding hands. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skyfirewater Posted December 18, 2023 Author Share Posted December 18, 2023 Just now, Ami1uwant said: Just wait till after Xmas holiday weekend to do something. for early dating a thing that says to me about kissing is holding hands. Yeah, I think is the most wise choice, given the circumstances. Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Skyfirewater said: 30 minutes, more or less. I'm not sure it's worth it if you're that in a rush. But it happens, people have lives. If there's genuine interest there just keep in touch and have a proper date with her after Christmas, in a bar with good atmosphere. Definitely wouldn't be jumping to inviting her to yours. Edited December 18, 2023 by FredEire 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skyfirewater Posted December 18, 2023 Author Share Posted December 18, 2023 Just now, FredEire said: I'm not sure it's worth it if you're that in a rush. But it happens, people have lives. If there's genuine interest there just keep in touch and have a proper date with her after Christmas, in a bar with good atmosphere. Definitely would be jumping to inviting her to yours. Yep, exactly. I'm not in a rush and I can wait and have a proper date after this holydays season. Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 8 minutes ago, Skyfirewater said: Yep, exactly. I'm not in a rush and I can wait and have a proper date after this holydays season. Yeah, I know you're just making the most of your time but rushing off from a date after that little time comes off as disinterested and rude to be honest, might give the wrong impression. But if she's reasonable she'll understand your unavailability, especially at this time of year. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 10 minutes ago, Skyfirewater said: . I'm not in a rush and I can wait and have a proper date after this holydays season. Make sure you have time to date. A 30 minute coffee meet seems more like an inconvenient interruption of a day than a date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skyfirewater Posted December 18, 2023 Author Share Posted December 18, 2023 Just now, Wiseman2 said: Make sure you have time to date. A 30 minute coffee meet seems more like an inconvenient interruption of a day than a date. She doesn't have so much time available either. We both have our own life's. We aren't teenagers. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 1 hour ago, Skyfirewater said: We both have our own life's. We aren't teenagers. Grown adults find more than 30 minutes for real dates all the time, OP. If you can't right now, it's not a great idea to have a very rushed meet-up where you can't really spend proper time together, particularly since you still haven't had an actual date. Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 Invite her to a restaurant for a nice dinner. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skyfirewater Posted January 27 Author Share Posted January 27 After holydays season, we've meet 3 more times. These 2 last times, we had 2 nice dinners, 1 at her place and the other at my place. We started kissing each other and consequently jumped to bed. I'm feeling that is something strange, cause this only happen with the alcohol effect. She avoid kissing when she's sober. This last time I've told her that I would like to kiss her without alcohol influence and she replied that she understand. She's a bit shy but I'm afraid that she's trolling me. Any thoughts about this matter? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 28 minutes ago, Skyfirewater said: After holydays season, we've meet 3 more times. These 2 last times, we had 2 nice dinners, 1 at her place and the other at my place. We started kissing each other and consequently jumped to bed. I'm feeling that is something strange, cause this only happen with the alcohol effect. She avoid kissing when she's sober. This last time I've told her that I would like to kiss her without alcohol influence and she replied that she understand. She's a bit shy but I'm afraid that she's trolling me. Any thoughts about this matter? This is why we date....to find out what they are like etc. This isn't going smoothly..it's too weird and you have to try and make it work somehow...not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 (edited) On 12/18/2023 at 3:52 AM, Skyfirewater said: The thing is that we plan to meet before the Christmas season and we both don't have much time available. So, unfortunately, nothing romantic is expected. Se likes red wine and cannot find a specific bottle. I already got the bottle and the plan is to offer it to her. 1 hour ago, Skyfirewater said: After holydays season, we've meet 3 more times. These 2 last times, we had 2 nice dinners, 1 at her place and the other at my place. We started kissing each other and consequently jumped to bed. I'm feeling that is something strange, cause this only happen with the alcohol effect. She avoid kissing when she's sober. This last time I've told her that I would like to kiss her without alcohol influence and she replied that she understand. She's a bit shy but I'm afraid that she's trolling me. Any thoughts about this matter? Your perspective is interesting. Can you share why you decided to get her a specific bottle she couldn't find and why you offered it to her when you met? I just want to understand your reasoning better. It sounds like you had good intentions by getting her a gift that she likes, but it may not have been the best way to show your interest in her. It also seems like you may have been trying to use the alcohol to create a romantic atmosphere. Edited January 27 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skyfirewater Posted January 27 Author Share Posted January 27 7 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: Your perspective is interesting. Can you share why you decided to get her a specific bottle she couldn't find and why you offered it to her when you met? I just want to understand your reasoning better. It sounds like you had good intentions by getting her a gift that she likes, but it may not have been the best way to show your interest in her. It also seems like you may have been trying to use the alcohol to create a romantic atmosphere. I thought I could offer her that specific bottle, but I didn't. I thought better about it, and I concluded that was better this way. We both like good food and wine, never was my intention to create a romantic atmosphere through the use of alcohol. Regarding her, Idk. I just feeling weird that she's only able to get intimate with the alcohol effect. She's always nice, I already offer her flowers and she offer me a t-shirt, we went out skiing together, but when I try to kiss her, she runs away. Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 1 hour ago, Skyfirewater said: I thought I could offer her that specific bottle, but I didn't. I thought better about it, and I concluded that was better this way. We both like good food and wine, never was my intention to create a romantic atmosphere through the use of alcohol. Regarding her, Idk. I just feeling weird that she's only able to get intimate with the alcohol effect. She's always nice, I already offer her flowers and she offer me a t-shirt, we went out skiing together, but when I try to kiss her, she runs away. Does she have a drinking problem? Is she extremely shy and feels she needs the alcohol in order to feel comfortable. To be honest alcohol use is often a compatibility issue. If she feels like she needs the alcohol and you don't feel like you need to consume it you two might not be right for each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skyfirewater Posted January 27 Author Share Posted January 27 19 minutes ago, Sony12 said: Does she have a drinking problem? Is she extremely shy and feels she needs the alcohol in order to feel comfortable. To be honest alcohol use is often a compatibility issue. If she feels like she needs the alcohol and you don't feel like you need to consume it you two might not be right for each other. No, out of the question drinking problems. Link to post Share on other sites
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