My Girlfriend makes post about being unhappy but acts normal around me

[Jamesdixon2892]

My girl and I have been together over about a year now. We used to date 5 years ago but broke up due to cheating from me. I thought we were in a better place now but she makes cryptic post. We live together and she only ever post the dog I got for her but never anything about me

one day she posted “you can tell when you’re around energy you shouldn’t be around. That’s me in this house” I asked her about it and she said she was having a bad day.

I’m a dj and she’s a cocktail waitress. Sometimes I do dj at her club. 
yesterday she posted to her instagram story a video of a couple that had the caption “pov your partner motivates you”  and then she added her own caption “none of y’all inspire me so until then I’m gonna keep working on me but my best friend inspires me” and she tagged her best friend this girl she’s best friends with.

she also deleted the promotion of me djing at her club she works at from her story. I asked her what’s the deal and she said I was reading too much into things. 
I’m so confused

Edited November 19, 2023 by Jamesdixon2892
Misspelled

[Wiseman2]

40 minutes ago, Jamesdixon2892 said:

My girl and I have been together over about a year now. We used to date 5 years ago but broke up due to cheating from me. 

Sorry this is happening. What happened 5 years ago? How long were you dating and did you stay in touch? How did it come about that you got back together? 

What was the rush with her moving in after just 6 months?  Was she struggling financially or her lease was up? 

It's good you asked her about the posts. How is your relationship otherwise? There seems to be a lot of disconnect, miscommunication and unspoken resentment.  

It is strange that a couple who live together are communicating with cryptic social media posts.

Why not have some sincere heart-to-heart conversations about where you are now, where things are going and what you want to see happening? 

[Jamesdixon2892]

26 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. What happened 5 years ago? How long were you dating and did you stay in touch? How did it come about that you got back together? 

What was the rush with her moving in after just 6 months?  Was she struggling financially or her lease was up? 

It's good you asked her about the posts. How is your relationship otherwise? There seems to be a lot of disconnect, miscommunication and unspoken resentment.  

It is strange that a couple who live together are communicating with cryptic social media posts.

Why not have some sincere heart-to-heart conversations about where you are now, where things are going and what you want to see happening? 

I cheated on her 5 years ago with the same girl. She’s insanely insecure about the girl. The girl is beautiful and I’ve known her for over 10 years. My girlfriend is beautiful and I really think it hurt her ego that I fell for another girl. But my mom loved my gf and hated the other girl so I told the other girl I couldn’t be with her. this was five years ago.

in present time the other girl seemed to show an interest in me again and my current gf found out.And that’s when she came back to me I  do love my gf and I was so happy she came back. I cut the other girl off and haven’t heard from her in about a year. She never attempts to talk to me anymore. I thought since she was gone we’d be ok. 
 

I do talk to her but she seems so dry. We both work a lot. We both have two jobs. I begged her to move in with me. I was engaged to another girl (not the one I cheated with) but we broke up so I still have the house and she moved in. 

[Jamesdixon2892]

52 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

.  

It is strange that a couple who live together are communicating with cryptic social media posts.

 

She’s the one posting things like that, not me. 

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, Jamesdixon2892 said:

She’s the one posting things like that, not me. 

But you're the one reading into it as having cryptic meanings. It's seems like there are a lot of unresolved issues but since she lives with you, for whatever reason, she isn't just walking away. 

[Jamesdixon2892]

13 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

But you're the one reading into it as having cryptic meanings. It's seems like there are a lot of unresolved issues but since she lives with you, for whatever reason, she isn't just walking away. 

You think she wants to? Also can you tell me what you think her post meant when she posted the meme that said your partner motivates you and she said only her best friend inspires her 

[d0nnivain]

Your GF took you back after a cheating episode but she moved into a house you bought years before you met her when you were engaged to another woman?   Maybe your GF feels like a placeholder.   Have you ever asked her what you two can do to make her feel more comfortable & make it feel more at home?   When she said nobody other than her BFF inspires her, have you asked what you could do to inspire her?  

She's lying somewhere.  I suspect it's to you in that she is not that happy but doesn't want to ruin things.  Maybe this 2nd time around isn't work for her.  

[Jamesdixon2892]

10 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Your GF took you back after a cheating episode but she moved into a house you bought years before you met her when you were engaged to another woman?   Maybe your GF feels like a placeholder.   Have you ever asked her what you two can do to make her feel more comfortable & make it feel more at home?   When she said nobody other than her BFF inspires her, have you asked what you could do to inspire her?  

She's lying somewhere.  I suspect it's to you in that she is not that happy but doesn't want to ruin things.  Maybe this 2nd time around isn't work for her.  

She has an attitude now because I’m currently out of the country and won’t be back until after thanksgiving. But it’s for business. I feel like she wants attention. Like making those post and my mom and everyone follows her. 
she was an esthetician but stopped being an esthetician when she moved in with me. Now she’s a waitress….. she’s wrecked her bmw when she moved in with me and JUST got a new car after driving my other car for months. I’ve helped her. 
I never told her to quiet the job she went to school for. She did that on her own. 

[Jamesdixon2892]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

But you're the one reading into it as having cryptic meanings. It's seems like there are a lot of unresolved issues but since she lives with you, for whatever reason, she isn't just walking away. 

Uh the things she post are rude. I’ve said something to her before and she deleted them but not this time. It’s just childish to me. I feel she’s looking for attention

[Jamesdixon2892]

18 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Your GF took you back after a cheating episode but she moved into a house you bought years before you met her when you were engaged to another woman?   Maybe your GF feels like a placeholder.   Have you ever asked her what you two can do to make her feel more comfortable & make it feel more at home?   When she said nobody other than her BFF inspires her, have you asked what you could do to inspire her?  

She's lying somewhere.  I suspect it's to you in that she is not that happy but doesn't want to ruin things.  Maybe this 2nd time around isn't work for her.  

Also why would you refer to her as a placeholder? And I was engaged to someone while me and current gf were broken up. We were broken up for a few years. And I was engaged to someone else. I also kinda had strong feelings for the girl I cheated on her with but my family hated her so it wouldn’t work. I cut that girl off to be with her. That one girl I cheated with…. She’s so insecure about her

Edited November 19, 2023 by Jamesdixon2892

[Gaeta]

If l were you l would unfollow her so that way she can't make those passive aggressive comments indirectly to you.

Sometimes we think if we get back with our ex we will go back to the lives we had. It's not happening for her (or you). She's unhappy but too emotionnally immature to go to her partner (you) to work on the solution.  She resorts to immature tactics like posting her feelings in public, l can't stand these people that wash their dirty laundry on social media.

I'm surprise your family like a woman who disrespect you publically.

Face it, you are not with her for the right reasons. You're with her because your family likes her, not because you are madly in love with her. She is a placeholder, she fills the spot, does the job.

You rushed into moving her in, it's not working, admit your error to yourself and move on. 

 

[Wiseman2]

50 minutes ago, Jamesdixon2892 said:

Uh the things she post are rude. I’ve said something to her before and she deleted them but not this time. It’s just childish to me. I feel she’s looking for attention

It seems a bit passive aggressive to post oblique vague and cryptic references on social media rather than speaking with you directly about whatever is going on.  Ask her what's up with this. Please let her know she can contact you directly anytime if she has something on her mind. 

[glows]

Have there been other women contacting you on the side that can be construed as cheating. She doesn’t like you, period. Comments like that are passive aggressive and she’s unhappy with you and her living situation. She should have dumped you for good and never gone back. I have to ask why so many strong feelings for multiple women overlapping- maybe you’d do better in poly relationships. The family hate is so heavy. She may be reacting to the entire thing about you, your family, the women etc.

[glows]

And yes the family hate is towards the other woman you cheated with but the reasons are unclear why they disliked her. Just sounds depressing.

[Jamesdixon2892]

8 minutes ago, glows said:

And yes the family hate is towards the other woman you cheated with but the reasons are unclear why they disliked her. Just sounds depressing.

They hated her  the other woman because I wasn't good to her….. and she was Italian and had a temper lol. She didn’t tolerate anything and would lose her temper. I told my mom about it and that’s why. 

[NuevoYorko]

The passive-aggressive social media posts are annoying, but of course your girlfriend is not happy in this relationship.  You've said more than once that the only reason you broke up with the woman you cheated with was that your family hated her.  Your present girlfriend is getting sloppy seconds from you.  Who would like that?

[glows]

9 minutes ago, Jamesdixon2892 said:

They hated her  the other woman because I wasn't good to her….. and she was Italian and had a temper lol. She didn’t tolerate anything and would lose her temper. I told my mom about it and that’s why. 

Why would you tell mom about this.. it’s your private life. I’m sorry it didn’t work out. Either way it sounds like your now gf is trapped. Can she support herself? This just isn’t working. Are you wanting a family and kids?

[Jamesdixon2892]

3 hours ago, NuevoYorko said:

The passive-aggressive social media posts are annoying, but of course your girlfriend is not happy in this relationship.  You've said more than once that the only reason you broke up with the woman you cheated with was that your family hated her.  Your present girlfriend is getting sloppy seconds from you.  Who would like that?

My current gf thinks I hate other woman too. But it would’ve never worked out with other woman. She has a fiery temper. 

[Jamesdixon2892]

3 hours ago, glows said:

Why would you tell mom about this.. it’s your private life. I’m sorry it didn’t work out. Either way it sounds like your now gf is trapped. Can she support herself? This just isn’t working. Are you wanting a family and kids?

Because I’m close with my mom and I was going and dumb and egotistical. I hated how she would curse me out she was the first woman to goe toe to toe with me. I can’t be with her because we are too much alike

[Alpacalia]

37 minutes ago, Jamesdixon2892 said:

I can’t be with her because we are too much alike

Well there's part of the problem right there.

If this 'other' woman and you weren't so similar then you might be with her.

Sounds like current girlfriend is more of a Plan B.

[SurfCity]

6 hours ago, Jamesdixon2892 said:

She has an attitude now because I’m currently out of the country and won’t be back until after thanksgiving. But it’s for business. I feel like she wants attention. 

She has an attitude because you're out of the country and can easily cheat again. She obviously doesn't trust you and thinks that you will cheat again; she's scared. Are you cheating now? 

You committed to another woman by proposing and buying a house, but you haven't made a similar commitment to your gf. She knows deep in her heart that she isn't the one for you, that she's just convenient to you. You proposed to another girl, but not her. You got a house to live in with another girl, but not her. It's plain as day that your gf doesn't mean as much to you as these other women did. 

Some people never ever get over the betrayal of being cheated on even when they take the person back. Your gf probably thought that she could forget about your betrayal, but it's not leaving her heart and mind like she thought it would. The posts are her true feelings. 

[glows]

1 hour ago, Jamesdixon2892 said:

My current gf thinks I hate other woman too. But it would’ve never worked out with other woman. She has a fiery temper. 

 

1 hour ago, Jamesdixon2892 said:

Because I’m close with my mom and I was going and dumb and egotistical. I hated how she would curse me out she was the first woman to goe toe to toe with me. I can’t be with her because we are too much alike

Then your mom is right and I’m glad you have family that cares about you. I think it’s over with your current gf as well. You didn’t answer my q about what you want for the future. Do you want a family and kids?

[basil67]

The way I read this, it doesn't sound like she considers you to be her boyfriend.   Does she know that you think she's your girlfriend?

Perhaps you are the supplier of a roof over her head?

Edited November 19, 2023 by basil67

[stillafool]

7 hours ago, Jamesdixon2892 said:

I feel like she wants attention. Like making those post and my mom and everyone follows her. 

 

7 hours ago, Jamesdixon2892 said:

Uh the things she post are rude. I’ve said something to her before and she deleted them but not this time. It’s just childish to me. I feel she’s looking for attention

I agree this is your gf's passive aggressive way to get your attention.  I also agree it is mean and rude.  So from now on don't read her stuff or acknowledge what she has written at all. If she can't woman up and tell you what's on her mind that is making her so unhappy then let her stew in it.  Jumping to try to make her make sense of what she's doing is a waste of time.  She seems immature as hell.  At least your ex had the sense to stand up to you and tell you how she felt to your face.  This one just acts silly.

[Jamesdixon2892]

16 minutes ago, basil67 said:

The way I read this, it doesn't sound like she considers you to be her boyfriend.   Does she know that you think she's your girlfriend?

Perhaps you are the supplier of a roof over her head?

Uh she’s living in my damn house lol.