Author mortensorchid Posted June 19, 2023 Author Share Posted June 19, 2023 I have said this to others many times : this is not a TV show, this is real life. And watching a popular show like Friends will promote others to do as such, but how successful is this? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 19, 2023 Share Posted June 19, 2023 (edited) 29 minutes ago, mortensorchid said: I have said this to others many times : this is not a TV show, this is real life. And watching a popular show like Friends will promote others to do as such, but how successful is this? Little do you know! My friend writes drama for the small screen. Her scripts reflect what she has experienced, observed and researched. Recently, we were discussing one of the amusing lines she wrote into a show where the characters were teachers and students. She told us "during research, I was in the school office and a women near me actually said that! I loved it and used it". Another of her drama series was seriously deep and it also came from her extraordinary real life experiences. Even comedy reflects real life (albeit played up for comedic effect). We all have the caring friend. The neurotic friend. The witty friend... As for Monica's proposal, Friends came out in the 90's. While the show is certainly played to comedic effect, Monica is a person who isn't afraid to go for what she wants, and there are certainly people like this in the world. And if it was going to create an avalanche of women proposing, I think it would have happened in the decades since. In response to "how successful is this?" If the women proposes and he accepts, then I'd say it's successful. Yes, the marriage may not last. But equally, men still propose far more often than women and look at how many of those marriages fail. I would imagine that a failed marriage has far more complex problems than who proposed, Edited June 19, 2023 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 20, 2023 Share Posted June 20, 2023 Oh, hee hee. Couldn't resist the opportunity to reference a Friends clip... The best course of action for a couple depends on their relationship. Monica proposing to Chandler is an example of one possible way the couple chose to express their love. Wouldn’t think anything untoward. In one sense, women are being told to be empowered and take the lead within their relationships. On the other hand, they are simultaneously being told that if they take the lead and push their man's engagement, it is likely that the man isn't really committed to a relationship. He doesn’t really love you enough to commit. Do they risk appearing too eager and potentially damaging the relationship or do they take a risk and potentially find true love? Some have taken that risk and it's worked out just fine for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted June 21, 2023 Author Share Posted June 21, 2023 I have tried many ways in my lifetime - to be the passive one or thr aggressive one or just in between. And ... After much trial and error I decided that I was just not one of those people who should be with someone. But it's all relative - about to celebrate my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and everything is hunky dory as it is. Don't want to change it, it's getting better day by day. I am lucky. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 (edited) That's good MC. That's what's important at the end of the day. Maybe in your soul searching it helped realize that it wasn't necessarily that you 'should' 'never' be with someone, but rather that you needed to be with the right person. I think these things are really about the two people and they clue each other in. My ex proposed to me and it was a complete surprise. I think if we had talked about it sooner I would have been less caught off guard. I understand that it is important for each person to feel comfortable with the idea of marriage before any proposal is made. It is a big decision and cannot be taken lightly. In this case, it might have been helpful to have discussed it prior to the proposal. That way, both feel secure in the relationship and the commitment being made. It sounds like you put in a lot of effort to find a relationship that works for you, and it paid off. It's amazing when you learn to recognize what kind of relationship works for you and is something that needs to be celebrated. Edited June 21, 2023 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
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