flat chested and hating it

[mini696]

Yeah don't think of it as a bad thing, love it and embrase it. I was always told I look young, and didn't like it, but now I'm 25 I dont get it as much, and miss being told that.

 

You seem to be a great person, and if your avatar is a pic of you, your cute too.

 

When you push someone away because of your own inner insecurities, you confuse them. Same goes when you dont believe people when they tell you you are beautiful. I broke up with my ex recently because she wouldnt believe me regarding her daughter (amongst other things), its a long story so I wont bore you with the details.

 

I guess what I am trying to say is you have a lot going for you, one thing (especially one thing about your appearance) should not control your life.

[LexiB]

Good Luck on your bra search!

 

But I don't think Wal-Mart is where you should be looking to find the type of bra you need. You're not gonna be able to skimp on this. Stick with Victoria Secret and other stores specializing in bras. It'll cost ya more, but if this is what it takes to boost your confidence it'll be worth every penny!

[Outcast]

Actually, Walmart has some unstructured spandex-type cupless bras that are great. I forget the name of the brand, but Elita also makes similar ones and some Walmarts may have them. They're great for women with small perky bosoms that don't fit standard cup sizes easily.

 

When we took a break, sitting around with her older sister, for no reason at all, my so-called best friend started going off about how flat I was. She was boasting about how big she was compared to me (which I must admit she totally was, she must've been a C) and just bragging in general. And she told me I had a big nose.

 

It's unfortunate how one thoughtless remark like that can lodge itself in our brains and poison us for years. I suspect she was jealous of you and felt she needed to take you down and so dumped a load of poison on you. It was about her, not about you. Try to exorcise her remarks and understand that she was likely annoyed and jealous. She was probably getting lewd cracks from guys all the time but didn't want to admit that her big ones were turning into a real annoyance so she lashed out at you.

[LexiB]

hmm, I guess...but I just don't see how an unstructured/spandex bra is gonna give her shape? Thought she was looking to add some "lovely lady lumps" (thank Blackeyed Peas for that ) not just fit into a bra.

 

But I definately agree with this:

 

 

"It was about her, not about you. Try to exorcise her remarks and understand that she was likely annoyed and jealous. She was probably getting lewd cracks from guys all the time but didn't want to admit that her big ones were turning into a real annoyance so she lashed out at you."

 

lifeasiknowit, you were prob a better dancer than her too--or better than her on any number of levels--and she resented you for it. You were understandably confused by the fact that it was your "best friend" saying all that crap to you but ever hear the expression: "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" ?

 

She may not of hated you but there was definately some bitterness brewing for a while before her little outburst. The best you can do is try to see it as a compliment--if you're someone worth trying to bring down, you're someone of worth;)

[Hot Coco]

"hmm, I guess...but I just don't see how an unstructured/spandex bra is gonna give her shape? Thought she was looking to add some "lovely lady lumps" (thank Blackeyed Peas for that ) not just fit into a bra."

 

Lexi, I'm with you. I've said it before on here and I'll say it again. Sports bras with no cups will do NOTHING for her. In fact, she's better off with nothing. Those things make me look smaller. She needs a padded, underwire bra.

[crazy_grl]

Life, don't get discouraged because WalMart didn't have a good bra for you. I've never liked their bras, and I can't remember ever having seen anything below an A cup there... but plenty of D & DD for some reason. I find their bras very uncomfortable and their padded ones didn't seem to hold up very well after washing only a couple times. They always got all lumpy. But I haven't bought any there lately, so maybe they've got some better ones.

 

I suggest you get bras with foam padding because it holds its shape well (instead of cotton padding) and is very comfortable. The liquid ones might also be good for you if you find it comfortable to wear them. And I agree that you shouldn't go with sports bras. They'll make you look smaller.

 

Also, I don't want to be disheartening, but if you decide to get breast implants at any point, it'll probably be best to put on some weight and try to develop some natural breast tissue first. If you read up on implants, you'll find that for them to feel natural, they can't be fully filled (inflated). This means they dimple and crease. The more breast tissue you have, the less chance those imperfections have of showing through your skin. Doctors do put the implants under the pectoral muscle to hide them, but the more breast tissue you already have, the better your results will be and there will be less chance you'll have to go in within a few years for additional surgeries.

 

Best wishes to you whatever you decide for yourself.

[Outcast]

Sports bras with no cups will do NOTHING for her. In fact, she's better off with nothing.

 

Sigh. It's a PITA you always failing to comprehend what I write. I am NOT talking about sports bras. These have elastic bands under the bosoms but do not have formed cups. If she wants falsies or underwire, she can have that stuff but I'm all for loving exactly what ya got and there are bras without pre-formed cups that do that.

[crazy_grl]

These have elastic bands under the bosoms but do not have formed cups. If she wants falsies or underwire, she can have that stuff but I'm all for loving exactly what ya got and there are bras without pre-formed cups that do that.

 

That's a good suggestion. I forgot about those kind cause I can't wear non-padded bras since my nipples are way too sensitive. The padding keeps 'em from showing all the time.

 

Life, you probably (luckily) don't have that problem, so it might be a good idea to look at those.

[lifeasiknowit]

Update:

 

I give up. I tried wearing the bra that I had bought from the teen section at Walmart, and it constantly rode up and was not working at all. It seems like everything is telling me that I might as well just reluctantly accept the fact that I can't change this part of my body. It's really frustrating, time consuming and exhausting obsessing over this.

[Outcast]

and it constantly rode up and was not working at all.

 

Oh dear. Did you try it on? You have to try them on and move around and see if they fit ok.

 

It's really frustrating, time consuming and exhausting obsessing over this.

 

Well yes - obsessions are like that and, really, you'll be ok. Asian ladies are the stuff of many fellows' fantasies and you know full well that a lot of Asian ladies are modestly or even minimally endowed. Gain a bit of weight, exercise, forget what that dolt told you. And remember the cute guy was into you!

 

If a guy you like looks at you, look right back at him. I promise a cheery smile will get you many more guys than a big rack will - and they'll be interested in you from the neck up instead of just the milkbags

[Hot Coco]

Sigh. It's a PITA you always failing to comprehend what I write. I am NOT talking about sports bras. These have elastic bands under the bosoms but do not have formed cups. If she wants falsies or underwire, she can have that stuff but I'm all for loving exactly what ya got and there are bras without pre-formed cups that do that.

 

PITA?

 

Anyway, it's great that you're all for loving what "ya got." But OP doesn't. Believe me, I know what bras help with this and which don't. You're entitled to your opinion. Just state it and move on. Don't make this about YOU.

[Hot Coco]

Update:

 

I give up. I tried wearing the bra that I had bought from the teen section at Walmart, and it constantly rode up and was not working at all. It seems like everything is telling me that I might as well just reluctantly accept the fact that I can't change this part of my body. It's really frustrating, time consuming and exhausting obsessing over this.

 

Life, that tells me it was TOO small if it rode up. Is it adjustable? Try one that is adjustable. Don't give up!

[puffy]

If I may throw in just a quick question, why is it necessary to find a bra if you don't really need the support? Is it more a psychological thing? I always thought it was pretty cool that in summer some girls were able to go braless with these tops/dresses that have those thin straps. I think it just doesn't look as good when you see the straps of the bra, even when they are these invisible plastic ones. And in winter does it matter what you wear below all these layers of clothes?

[Hot Coco]

If I may throw in just a quick question, why is it necessary to find a bra if you don't really need the support? Is it more a psychological thing? I always thought it was pretty cool that in summer some girls were able to go braless with these tops/dresses that have those thin straps. I think it just doesn't look as good when you see the straps of the bra, even when they are these invisible plastic ones. And in winter does it matter what you wear below all these layers of clothes?

 

I agree with you Puffy. Unless she's getting one of those "enhancer" bras, there's no real reason for one. Maybe it's just a pschological thing?

[LexiB]

for good stores.

 

I came across this website that ONLY sells bras for women with small busts: www.aalingerie.com

 

also

 

www.figleaves.com

 

They go down to a 28aa--seems like its

worth a shot:)

[Outcast]

Believe me, I know what bras help with this and which don't.

 

So do I. PITA = Pain In The ASS.

[lifeasiknowit]

Life, that tells me it was TOO small if it rode up. Is it adjustable? Try one that is adjustable. Don't give up!

 

Oh, it definitely was not too small. It was riding up, because there wasn't anything there to keep it in place:lmao: !

 

It is a psychological thing, the desire to wear a bra to give me some shape, but then I find, that it doesn't help that much, because I end up feeling like a fraud. By the way, the bra was padded a little. I agree that non-padded bras wouldn't do anything for me (unless I had falsies).

 

Also, in all these years that I haven't worn bras, I find that I have to wear lots of layers not only out of self consciousness, but also because my nipples are sensitive and tend to show:o , and then it is quite obvious that i'm not wearing a bra. I've seen women who wear tanktops and were clearly braless, and I've never cared, but I was wondering if that bothers most people?

[glittergurl]

Have a baby, and your chest problems will be solved! lol

[glittergurl]

I've seen women who wear tanktops and were clearly braless, and I've never cared, but I was wondering if that bothers most people?

 

I don't care if my nipples show through; if it's too hot, I definitely don't want to wear a bra, and a comfy tank top is all I feel like wearing. Not sure if it ever bothered anyone, I never noticed any particular looks or reactions; so I guess not ... ? My husband sure likes it lol

 

By the way, those tank tops with integrated shelf bras are the shiznit

[mini696]

Also, in all these years that I haven't worn bras, I find that I have to wear lots of layers not only out of self consciousness, but also because my nipples are sensitive and tend to show:o , and then it is quite obvious that i'm not wearing a bra. I've seen women who wear tanktops and were clearly braless, and I've never cared, but I was wondering if that bothers most people?

 

From a guy?? I like to see it.

[Hot Coco]

So do I. PITA = Pain In The ASS.

 

Aren't you the one who always brings up about not descending into Jerry Springer type attacks? Aren't you the one who always says you should discuss the issue and not attack the person making the point?

 

Why are YOU the exception to that?

[Hot Coco]

Sigh. It's a PITA you always failing to comprehend what I write. I am NOT talking about sports bras. These have elastic bands under the bosoms but do not have formed cups. If she wants falsies or underwire, she can have that stuff but I'm all for loving exactly what ya got and there are bras without pre-formed cups that do that.

 

And it's a PITA that you don't get that I just don't agree with you! I comprehend what you're saying...I just don't AGREE! Get it now? Because you're really beginning to be a PITA to me. We obviously don't agree. Can't you just leave it at that without getting in my face? People come here for diverse viewpoints, not just yours.

[Outcast]

I didn't call you anything. Go drink the cocoa and chill.

[lifeasiknowit]

Hot Coco, Outcast, I actually agree with both of your points (about the bra stuff), but you both clearly know a lot more than I do about bras , and anyways, I don't even think an expert bra-ologist genius could help me with my problem. I guess I'll have to hopefully find someone who doesn't mind being with a girl with no boobs . Eeek. Does any such person exist?

[lifeasiknowit]

As a digression, I have to confess that I am extremely sexually frustrated. I know that any intelligent person would agree with me that as a woman, you don't need breasts to have or enjoy sex. I can rationalize my issues perfectly, but emotionally I can't.

 

*sigh* Instead I repress and now I have so much bottled up energy that I feel like it's going to consume me.