Wiseman2 Posted January 29, 2022 Share Posted January 29, 2022 2 minutes ago, Sadman101 said: I’m probably not going to answer the summons . Research what happens if you don't answer the summons and if she'll win by default. You're the defendant, she's the plaintiff. It's a lawsuit. Your marriage is a legal contract that needs to be dissolved by the courts. You don't have to hire an attorney, you can answer pro se. However ignoring it won't stop the divorce. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted January 29, 2022 Author Share Posted January 29, 2022 (edited) 9 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Research what happens if you don't answer the summons and if she'll win by default. You're the defendant, she's the plaintiff. It's a lawsuit. Your marriage is a legal contract that needs to be dissolved by the courts. You don't have to hire an attorney, you can answer pro se. However ignoring it won't stop the divorce. [ ] I’m not trying to stop the divorce as I stated multiple times it seems you only answer to to answer Edited January 29, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator civility 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jspice Posted January 29, 2022 Share Posted January 29, 2022 2 hours ago, Sadman101 said: May I ask what’s the point she is Not asking for anything except a divorce she isn’t asking for alimony or anything we don’t have children if she just wants a divorce then I’m probably not going to answer the summons she just wants the divorce that’s it I looked it over You can’t not respond. In any legal proceeding each side has duties and responsibilities. When something is sent to one side, the other side has a certain number of days to respond, depending on what has been sent. Certain documents need to be filed by both sides even if the respondent doesn’t contest the legal action. You would also need to sign certain things. You don’t need to attend the court proceedings when the divorce is granted, depending where you’re from, but there are certain requirements you need to fulfill. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 29, 2022 Share Posted January 29, 2022 2 hours ago, Sadman101 said: I’m not trying to stop the divorce as I stated multiple times... In my opinion, there is a right way and a wrong way to answer a legal summons. If you want to make your estranged wife wait the requisite amount of time (which may or may not be 30 days) and not file an answer, then isn't that just causing her extra stress. Don't you think that (ignoring the summons) will make her sad or angry?? My sister's first husband did that... he wouldn't file an answer (just to spite her). Did it cause her stress and worry... YES!! Each day she woke up and her anger seethed. She had to go to work and face her day with the extra tension of "what is he going to do next" or "when is he going to answer the summons". Eventually the divorce went through. Personally, I wish he had just filed an answer in a timely manner... it served no purpose to not answer (other than to inflict hurt on my sister). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted January 29, 2022 Author Share Posted January 29, 2022 1 minute ago, Happy Lemming said: In my opinion, there is a right way and a wrong way to answer a legal summons. If you want to make your estranged wife wait the requisite amount of time (which may or may not be 30 days) and not file an answer, then isn't that just causing her extra stress. Don't you think that (ignoring the summons) will make her sad or angry?? My sister's first husband did that... he wouldn't file an answer (just to spite her). Did it cause her stress and worry... YES!! Each day she woke up and her anger seethed. She had to go to work and face her day with the extra tension of "what is he going to do next" or "when is he going to answer the summons". Eventually the divorce went through. Personally, I wish he had just filed an answer in a timely manner... it served no purpose to not answer (other than to inflict hurt on my sister). Hi may I ask you to dig deeper into that I’m sorry if I am overstepping here but wouldn’t me not answering be causing her less stress since it would just be a default divorce Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 29, 2022 Share Posted January 29, 2022 1 minute ago, Sadman101 said: Hi may I ask you to dig deeper into that I’m sorry if I am overstepping here but wouldn’t me not answering be causing her less stress since it would just be a default divorce I wish I could answer your question, but I don't know. My sister divorced her first husband back in the late 80's or early 90's. I just remember my mother and I being a sounding board for her. My sister just needed someone to listen (to her) as she was forced to wait for the whole process to (eventually) wind its way through the legal system. Personally, I've never been married and don't plan to ever get married. As far as losing long term partners, yes that has happened to me. I do remember living with one woman and things weren't going well. When she mentioned moving out, I stopped what I was doing, went to the hardware store, picked up some boxes and tape and started packing all of her stuff up. I didn't want to be with someone that didn't want to be with me. Bye-Bye!! If the woman wants the relationship to end, I'll assist her with the process. I have two major regrets in life and one was "begging" a woman to come back to me when she left. I was so ashamed of myself (after the fact) and I NEVER did that again. The other was a real estate deal, but that is for another thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted January 29, 2022 Author Share Posted January 29, 2022 28 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: I wish I could answer your question, but I don't know. My sister divorced her first husband back in the late 80's or early 90's. I just remember my mother and I being a sounding board for her. My sister just needed someone to listen (to her) as she was forced to wait for the whole process to (eventually) wind its way through the legal system. Personally, I've never been married and don't plan to ever get married. As far as losing long term partners, yes that has happened to me. I do remember living with one woman and things weren't going well. When she mentioned moving out, I stopped what I was doing, went to the hardware store, picked up some boxes and tape and started packing all of her stuff up. I didn't want to be with someone that didn't want to be with me. Bye-Bye!! If the woman wants the relationship to end, I'll assist her with the process. I have two major regrets in life and one was "begging" a woman to come back to me when she left. I was so ashamed of myself (after the fact) and I NEVER did that again. The other was a real estate deal, but that is for another thread. Absolutely never beg her sisters and mom want us to work it out Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 29, 2022 Share Posted January 29, 2022 16 minutes ago, Sadman101 said: ...her sisters and mom want us to work it out But your wife does not, thus the divorce papers and you being served. I am sorry, but if your estranged wife wanted to "work it out" she would not have taken the next step in having you served. If she wanted to work things out, I imagine she would have approached you and suggested marriage counseling or therapy or some other alternative. The fact remains she did none of those and instead had you served. You can't force another person to love you. Something happened and the marriage/relationship was damaged beyond repair. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 29, 2022 Share Posted January 29, 2022 56 minutes ago, Sadman101 said: her sisters and mom want us to work it out It’s not their decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted February 3, 2022 Author Share Posted February 3, 2022 i knew the second i met you that there was something about you i needed turns out it wasn't something about you at all it was just you. I found this to be a powerful quote just wondering what many things it can mean thank you Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 3, 2022 Share Posted February 3, 2022 (edited) To me it sounds like the person is saying, "I want you", "I've found my soulmate", "I've found the person I'm supposed to be with". Do you feel the same about them? Edited February 3, 2022 by stillafool 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 3, 2022 Share Posted February 3, 2022 Google tells me that it's a quote from Jamie McGuire's book Beautiful Disaster. I imagine the meaning will be clear in read in context with the prose. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted February 3, 2022 Author Share Posted February 3, 2022 11 minutes ago, stillafool said: To me it sounds like the person is saying, "I want you", "I've found my soulmate", "I've found the person I'm supposed to be with". Do you feel the same about them? Well it’s my wife we’re going through a divorce right now but she posted this on her Facebook her friend showed me no stalking lol Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 3, 2022 Share Posted February 3, 2022 Awe. Super sweet. She is saying that on the first day of meeting you, she knew she had found something special in you, not necessarily anything you did, but simply being YOU made all the difference to her. "I knew I loved you before I met you," as the song goes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted February 3, 2022 Author Share Posted February 3, 2022 2 minutes ago, Alpaca said: Awe. Super sweet. She is saying that on the first day of meeting you, she knew she had found something special in you, not necessarily anything you did, but simply being YOU made all the difference to her. "I knew I loved you before I met you," as the song goes. Thank you it’s weird she posted that about me while we are going through a divorce it’s been pretty bad that’s why I was shocked 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 3, 2022 Share Posted February 3, 2022 (edited) As you are divorcing, the quote is unlikely to be about you. Especially given the information in your previous post about how you treated her badly. I suspect that she's seeing someone new, is head over heels and the quote is about him. It's probably a good idea for you to ask this friend to not share information from her FB feed. Edited February 3, 2022 by basil67 missing words 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted February 3, 2022 Author Share Posted February 3, 2022 (edited) 4 minutes ago, basil67 said: As you are divorcing, the quote is unlikely to be about you. Especially given the information in your previous post about how you treated her badly. I suspect that she's seeing someone new, is head over heels and the quote is about him. It's probably a good idea for you to ask this friend to not share information from her FB feed. I can confirm she is not seeing anyone else not that I’m asking or checking up her friends all told me how she is crying and sad over the situation still also she posted how she calls me out on my bs and vice versa so it’s not me checking once again it’s her friends telling me Edited February 3, 2022 by Sadman101 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 3, 2022 Share Posted February 3, 2022 I can only repeat that you should ask her friends to stop telling you what she's posting. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 4, 2022 Share Posted February 4, 2022 3 hours ago, Sadman101 said: Thank you it’s weird she posted that about me while we are going through a divorce it’s been pretty bad that’s why I was shocked To basil67's point, you can't know for certain that her recent FB post was intended for you. Especially with the added information that it's been "pretty bad" between you two. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 4, 2022 Share Posted February 4, 2022 I too thought that post was for someone else. A woman going through divorce doesn’t make a post like that… 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted February 4, 2022 Author Share Posted February 4, 2022 5 hours ago, BaileyB said: I too thought that post was for someone else. A woman going through divorce doesn’t make a post like that… Exactly the point which is why i am confused all her friends are saying she is sad I don’t ask or try to find any information out I’m a friendly person I get along with everyone her whole family loves me wants us to solve it yes it’s up to her at the end she is a genuine women she just does not jump into a relationship like that she is extremely hurt she takes things very hard she is very emotional person in general Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 4, 2022 Share Posted February 4, 2022 (edited) Well yes, ending a marriage is not easy, so of course she's sad. But this does not mean that she wants you back and it does not mean that her post was about you. And if her whole family wants you to solve this, it means she has been discreet about your prior behaviour. Short of her cancelling the divorce proceedings...or engaging a marriage counsellor, there is no indication that she wants you back. Edited February 4, 2022 by basil67 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted February 4, 2022 Author Share Posted February 4, 2022 1 hour ago, basil67 said: Well yes, ending a marriage is not easy, so of course she's sad. But this does not mean that she wants you back and it does not mean that her post was about you. And if her whole family wants you to solve this, it means she has been discreet about your prior behaviour. Short of her cancelling the divorce proceedings...or engaging a marriage counsellor, there is no indication that she wants you back. Earlier also I quoted she is very emotional in general as a person overall so she handles things differently then say your average person Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 4, 2022 Share Posted February 4, 2022 15 hours ago, Sadman101 said: i knew the second i met you that there was something about you i needed turns out it wasn't something about you at all it was just you. Could be anything including a cryptic message to a new lover. It sounds like a new romance type of sentiment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sadman101 Posted February 4, 2022 Author Share Posted February 4, 2022 34 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Could be anything including a cryptic message to a new lover. It sounds like a new romance type of sentiment. I agree it does sound like it but it’s not Link to post Share on other sites
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