I'm concerned about my girlfriend's weight.

[spiderowl]

I can see why you are concerned, ironpony, if she genuinely is very thin.  If her doctor told her she is undernourished, then it was something they noticed.  In my experience, doctors only notice such things when blood test results go out of the 'normal' range.  However, how come she told you this?  Did she volunteer the information or was it brought up in a discussion you initiated about her weight or general health?  I wondered because if she is volunteering the information, she wants you to know about the undernourishment comment.

I agree with others that you should not comment on her weight.  If she has an eating disorder, it is likely she is hiding it to a certain extent.  People do not normally need reminding to eat!

What is her diet like?  Does she eat the usual range of things or has she got a restricted diet of some kind?

The important thing you can do is to tell her how attractive you find her and that you care about her.  Do not qualify it with 'when you were fitter/healthier' or anything, just ensure she realises that you care about her.

Ultimately, if she does have an eating disorder, there is very little you can do.  You might need to alert her family or doctor, if she is becoming dangerously ill.  She has to want to seek help for herself.  Anything you do to 'manage' her eating will only put pressure on her and become a problem between you. Just do what you are doing and encourage her to eat if she has asked you to do that; otherwise just be supportive.

As another poster said, you might want to do some private research on the best way to help someone with an eating disorder.  If she is fit and easily able to do things and is not fragile, then there is no need to do anything but be her boyfriend.

Edited November 22, 2021 by spiderowl

[ironpony]

Oh okay, thanks I can do that.  She eats the usual range, no diet, just not as much of it normally, compared to others.  She volunteered the information to me, I didn't ask her.  I mean I may have asked her how her blood test went since she told me she was going for a blood test and getting the results back.  But I never asked her anything that could have been in the test.  Does it count as her volunteering the information if I asked her how her test went, but I only asked because she was telling me she was going to get the results earlier that day?

Edited November 22, 2021 by ironpony

[Lotsgoingon]

You are allowed as a bf to ask how someone's medical tests went when that person tells you ahead of time that they're going for tests.

Yes, partners want to track the wellbeing of the other. It's a way of caring. You just want to maintain your frame that you are not criticizing her, you are only a little worried about her because you like her so much and you want the best for her. Always keep that tone and attitude.  And you can ask what you want. 

Anytime a partner shares some piece of information, that usually means it's fair game to ask about that information later. Not all that different than her telling you she isn't feeling well and you calling to ask how she's doing. Nothing intrusive there.

 

[ironpony]

Okay thanks.  I can keep it at then, if that's best.