Wiseman2 Posted November 11, 2021 Share Posted November 11, 2021 12 hours ago, KillJoyboyfriend said: It's all good! No worries seriously. It doesn't ruin the friendship at all" She handled it diplomatically although confessing crushes is awkward and borderline creepy. Step way back. Listen to your parents and start dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KillJoyboyfriend Posted November 11, 2021 Author Share Posted November 11, 2021 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: She handled it diplomatically although confessing crushes is awkward and borderline creepy. Step way back. Listen to your parents and start dating. god dammit. I'm very socially awkward-- the thought of approaching someone I like fills me with dread. I can't just start dating. I wish I could though 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Coasting1991 Posted November 11, 2021 Share Posted November 11, 2021 All of these doubts and feelings are normal for a 17 year old. Things might look fatalistic now, but in a few years you'll laugh them off as an awkward teenage stage (trust me - I was largely the same). Get out, go on dates, experience life. It's much better to falter, learn and grow now than having to play catch up later in life. 4 hours ago, KillJoyboyfriend said: I'm very socially awkward-- the thought of approaching someone I like fills me with dread. I can't just start dating. I wish I could though I know the feeling, I was very much the same as a teenager. The thought of dating filled me with dread and I let many an opportunity pass me by because I froze and was too scared to act in the moment. You know what the golden standard method for treating some types of anxiety is in the psychology world, though? Exposure therapy! That means you need to expose yourself to the thing that frightens you and sit with that anxiety to basically train your mind and make it realize "Hey, this actually isn't bad. I tried it, it sucked and felt horrible, but I didn't die like my anxiety was telling me I would. My life continues on". Start small and work your way up. The more you get out there, the less anxious you will get in these scenarios over time. If you think about it, you've already done your first exposure therapy by telling her how you felt! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted November 11, 2021 Share Posted November 11, 2021 i think the answer is in her response. you told her about your crush and she's like "nah that's cool don't worry about it" also, one area no one seemed to mention, you said this girl is bisexual. she may not actually have a boyfriend, she may have a girlfriend, and may just say she has a "bf" because of church, and how religion generally frowns upon same sex relationships. she may be highly into girls right now, and may not even see you as a "boy" and all her interactions and affections might be because she feels no sexual threat or tension with you or with guys. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted November 12, 2021 Share Posted November 12, 2021 On 11/10/2021 at 2:07 PM, KillJoyboyfriend said: I always understood that, I'm not the kind of guy to not take a hint and keep bothering someone when they've told me no. I just cannot control who I like. I unfortunately like her, and though I'm not going to do anything about it, it's killing me because I have to shut up about it and essentially suck it up. That's what I mean by "it sucks". I'd never try to mess up a happy relationship for my own selfish benefit, nor would I keep bothering a girl that's already said "no." I don’t see why you can’t ask her out on a date. She is being pretty flirtatious for a girl who has a boyfriend. The worst she can do is to say no, and then you’ll know exactly where you stand. I can understand her flirting is confusing you. It doesn’t fit with a girl who has a boyfriend she loves. However, bear in mind that there is this guy in the background and you may come up against him at some point. Also, if she is this flirty with you, when she is supposedly attached, she is likely to be this way with other guys in the future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 12, 2021 Share Posted November 12, 2021 20 hours ago, KillJoyboyfriend said: I can't just start dating. Sure you can. Be friendly with people. You seem to have interests talents and social groups already. You could start talking to girls at school ask them to do stuff etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KillJoyboyfriend Posted November 13, 2021 Author Share Posted November 13, 2021 On 11/12/2021 at 5:51 AM, Wiseman2 said: Sure you can. Be friendly with people. You seem to have interests talents and social groups already. You could start talking to girls at school ask them to do stuff etc. maybe one day I'll find someone that doesn't care if i'm not the incredible hulk lol Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted November 13, 2021 Share Posted November 13, 2021 You don't need to be beefy like the incredible hulk but if you want to you can join a gym. A little muscle never hurt. Plus, you'll get healthier too! Link to post Share on other sites
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