How much will a tattoo lower my dating options

[Cookiesandough]

So not trying to brag, but I have a lot of dating options at the moment. I don’t know why I’m so popping right now, but I’m going with it. 
 

I have a shallow problem.  I want a tattoo really bad!!. I have my entire life. Ideally I want more than one too but I think I should start with one. I want to get it on my forearm which is kind of a revealing spot( I really don’t see the point in getting it in a highly concealed spot anyway.) I have it picked out and I’m ready. 

The problem is that I’ve noticed a lot of guys do not like tattoos on women and even the guys that like tattoos also like the fact I have none. One of my exes was a tattoo artist and he was tatted on his neck down. I would joke about him giving me a tat and he would laugh along, but it became a thing that was seriously considered and I feel like he not really onboard though he said he would. He was kind of like” Your skin is perfect.” “ I don’t know if it would go with your vibe.” “I like how you’re different don’t have any blah blah blah” . I don’t know if he was saying that because he could since I wasn’t sure, or what, but it never happened. Then I had another boyfriend that was heavily tattooed and he was into tattooed women but he also into me too. 
 

Now, on the other side,  I have noticed tons of guys prefer women without tattoos or HATE them, to the point it’s a dealbreaker. I was just on a date with a guy and asked him what he thinks of tattoos. He said “as long as they’re not visible” he had this huge tattoo on his upper arm. I don’t know if these people are just saying this because I don’t have a tattoo. But I get a lot of “It’s trashy” “It ruins the look of women having clear, beautiful skin. “ But even on message boards, I see an overwhelming negative response to them. On Reddit, which is a pretty ‘progressive’ community, I see when this question is asked there are overwhelming upvotes to “I like tattoos, but prefer my women without”

also, my dad drilled it into my head a lot. He was always like why would you pay someone to scar you etc. etc. you’re going to regret that later blah blah blah
 

I get this is a totally shallow reason not to get one but it could be argued that they are a kind of shallow thing. And i’m OK with my dating pool lessening a little bit. I just don’t want to become a leper because I decided to make this move in my life. I don’t want my life to change and to not be able to get dates as easily when my dating life is where I want it. 
 

Thank you!! 

Edited August 11, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[glows]

I use them to weed out the ones whom I wouldn't get along with anyway so it works perfectly for me. In the end it is your body and your level of self-confidence. If it is important for you to attract a lot of men or you feel you would be negatively affected, I suggest you do not get a tattoo. It is permanent and laser removal does not guarantee that all of it will be removed. I hear it is also painful (more painful than the tattoo process and healing). 

[Cookiesandough]

1 minute ago, glows said:

I use them to weed out the ones whom I wouldn't get along with anyway so it works perfectly for me. 

😳 Thank you, glows. So the people with tattoos or without tattoos you assume you won’t get along with? 

[glows]

3 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

😳 Thank you, glows. So the people with tattoos or without tattoos you assume you won’t get along with? 

I don't assume anything. I leave that to those who love to do that about others, negatively or otherwise. 

If someone wants to presume that you (hypothetical you) are one way or another way based on tattoos, I think that person is generally focusing on things that I wouldn't focus on (incompatible). 

It's also considered crass for one tattooed person to another tattooed person to comment excessively on each others' tattoos. They're personal and not usually something people talk about on a first date for example. The people who make comments are generally ones who aren't tattooed or feel intimidated. To each their own. I don't really mind. I've had mine for a long time so I don't think of them much. 

[Cookiesandough]

Thank you. Sry I misunderstood what you meant. So you’re tattooed? Do you regret it because you say I shouldn’t get one & yea even the removal usually leaves a scar . If I got one it wouldn’t be removed.for me it’s almost a symbol to stop caring what others ( including my family) think I’m supposed to do. So maybe my question is missing the point. Maybe that is what I’m trying to overcome, the approval of others

Edited August 11, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[glows]

1 minute ago, Cookiesandough said:

Thank you. Sry I misunderstood what you meant. So you’re tattooed? Do you regret it because you say I shouldn’t get one 

No, not at all. I love my ink. You may be different from me however as you have explained above that you are concerned about your dating choices or options (your personal situation). This has never been a problem for me and I've dated more than my fair share, married (married another person who was also tattooed). I had my first tattoo at 19 and the last one at 35. I don't foresee any other art but I'm not making any promises either. I certainly wouldn't let dating options prevent me from getting another one. 

[ExpatInItaly]

I have two small tattoos that I've had for many years. I got my first when I was rebellious 16-year-old (yes, Mom, fake ID was involved) and the second when I was 19. I am 40 now, still enjoy both of them! 

I have also had a few serious, long-term relationships and...er....a "few" "flings" along the way. Never been an issue. 

[Wiseman2]

Wait until you get a job (you claim you're going to school to be in a profession?). You can't be fired for having them but people don't have to hire you for having them either. 

 

[Cookiesandough]

Sense* just realized that typo in my op. I’m using voice to text and it mixes words up
 

Haha I’ve been on this board years and just now learning anything about you expat. Like that you’ve been married for years and you have 2 small tatts. Awesome 

Edited August 11, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Cookiesandough]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Wait until you get a job (you claim you're going to school to be in a profession?). You can't be fired for having them but people don't have to hire you for having them either. 

 

Yes I’ve talked to people about this but the medical field is getting more progressive too and many medical professionals I know have tattoos. I wouldn’t want to work for someone who was that conservative anyway 

[ExpatInItaly]

11 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Haha I’ve been on this board years and just now learning anything about you expat. Like that you’ve been married for years and you have 2 small tatts. Awesome 

Ha, I'm not married, never have been. I have a life partner, though 😉

I've had my tattoos for years though, and have been in serious, long-term relationships. I've been in my current relationship for about 7 years. My partner also has a few tattoos, a couple of them quite large and very visible (on his arms) 

And for the record, we're both professionals. I am a teacher and he is a lawyer. 

[ShyViolet]

I am heavily tattooed and I don't know what you're talking about..... it's never lessened my dating options.  Most of my arms are tattooed to around the elbow, and I have several on my back.  I don't live my life for "what guys prefer", I live my life for myself.  These days tons of men AND women have tattoos.  It's not "unusual" for women to have tattoos.  You should do whatever the hell you want.  A woman with a tattoo on her forearm?  My goodness, there's nothing controversial or upsetting about that, unless maybe you're straight out of a time machine from the 1950's.  Weed out any guys who are so judgmental that they would be grossed out by that.  

[d0nnivain]

Depends on the tattoo, it's placement & the guy.  

I hate tattoos.  DH has 5.  To me the kind of man he is triumphs over some art on his body.  I do like 4 of the 5 tattoos as far as design goes but the other one is just ugly.  

[LivingWaterPlease]

I'd say just be yourself and the guys you attract will be best suited for you.

That said, if you were my daughter, like your dad I'd urge you not to for all the reasons you wrote about.

[basil67]

I’ve got one ankle tattoo and husband thinks it’s great.

My daughter has multiple tattoos.  Like @glows she’s fine with the ink filtering out prospective dates.  The tattoos are visible in the photos she chooses for her dating app and help weed out the guys who are wrong for her.  

[Mrin]

I've dated and been in serious relationships with women with tattoos. Would not be a turn off at all. 

I never thought I'd want to get a tattoo but I actually got a big one a couple of years ago on my forearm. I love it and might go higher up on that arm

[Happy Lemming]

I dislike tattoos on a woman.

If it is a small tattoo on an ankle or something like that, I'll look past it and date her.

I was dating this one woman.  She was quite pretty and everything was going great.  When we got naked to sleep together for the first time, she had this HUGE back tattoo that wrapped around her rib cage.  It was a turn off and I dumped her about a week later. 

Neither my present girlfriend nor I have any tattoos.  My girlfriend is Jewish and apparently tattoos are forbidden under Jewish law, but she never wanted one.

Apparently it is in the Torah  “You shall not make gashes in your flesh for the dead, or incise any marks on yourselves: I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:28).

Edited to Add:  Keep in mind some professional jobs/companies do not allow visible tattoos.  So you may be limiting some potential prospects for your career if you get a tattoo that is visible.

 

Edited August 11, 2021 by Happy Lemming

[LivingWaterPlease]

This is  little different, Cookies, but there's a way I dress sometimes that I thought my bf might not like. I had a photo of a celebration I wanted to show him but I was dressed that way in it so I debated with myself for a long time before finally deciding to show him.

Thankfully, he was accepting and complimentary. But, I understand somewhat of your dilemma.I finally just came to terms with it. This is who I am and how I express myself and want to have the freedom to do so. If he doesn't approve, do I want to live the rest of my life denying who I am? I've already had a husband I didn't have freedom to be myself with. I don't want that again.

But then, I'm always hesitant to do something I can't change. I want to have freedom to do or be anything and don't want to be stuck even with a new haircut  for a few months. So rather than cut my hair, I'd get a wig.

Are there fake tattoos you could try out for awhile to see if you were sure you wanted to go permanent?

[mark clemson]

People's preferences are people's preferences. I've heard some men here (other than HLemming 🙂) state they find it off-putting. However, if you really want some, then a man who really didn't like them would likely not be a good choice WRT compatibility anyhow. You may indeed be limiting your options, but you're limiting them to the right people perhaps.

Also many men will put up with quite a lot, frankly, for a good woman. These men online may be speaking in theory about tats, but if they see a woman they're genuinely attracted to, I suspect that many would be like hmm tats, but she's hawt and go for it anyhow. Some would, anyhow, particularly if it's only a few nicely done ones.

A final thought would be to not get any you can't cover up at the job interview. Forearm for example, just wear long sleeves. The biases of e.g. an HR interviewer may have little to do with your day-to-day experience at a job, so no point in getting yourself "filtered out" by a person you may never see again after the initial interviews.

Edited August 11, 2021 by mark clemson

[Mrin]

23 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Neither my present girlfriend nor I have any tattoos.  My girlfriend is Jewish and apparently tattoos are forbidden under Jewish law, but she never wanted one.

Apparently it is in the Torah  “You shall not make gashes in your flesh for the dead, or incise any marks on yourselves: I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:28).

I dated a Jewish woman and she said the same thing. She didn't like my tattoo on my forearm but that didn't keep her from dating me either. So, it wasn't a deal killer for her.

Edited August 11, 2021 by Mrin

[Happy Lemming]

2 minutes ago, Mrin said:

So, it wasn't a deal killer for her.

Yes...  I guess it is like any other religion, some people pick and choose which stuff they want to follow.  My girlfriend loves pork chops, so that rule went out the door.

Personally, I think I would change my mind (at some point) after getting a tattoo.  So knowing my own personality, I avoided them.

I can't think of any one thing I feel strongly about where I wouldn't change my mind, so that constant reminder on my arm would be there reminding me that I liked "something" so much that I had it tattooed on my body and now I don't.

Can you share what your tattoo is??  Any regrets??  Do you still like it??

[spiderowl]

I think you probably need males to answer this question for you, Cookies.  I know that in my generation (1960s), men tend to be either for or against tattoos.  This probably isn't relevant to you anyway as I think you are in a younger age range.  Men in my age group tend to dislike tattoos and see them as trashy.  This is because in general only the wild women who tended to cross boundaries got them.  Most women did not.

Nowadays, a lot of women get tattoos and it seen as more of a fashion statement than a social taboo.  I suspect as you are obviously attractive it's not going to make any difference to your dating options.  You might find you attract a few more unconventional or alternative admirers.  I suspect it would be rare for a guy to turn down a pretty girl with a tattoo; some guys would date a girl with a tattoo but would they be as interested in anything long-term and serious?  I have no idea, I'm sure men could answer that for you.

Tattoos don't tend to look as good when one is older and skin has changed.  They also tend to fade and look more like prison tattoos because they have lost some of their colour.  Modern dyes might make a difference to this, I don't know.  I am only thinking of one professional lady I know who is in her 60s now and she got many tattoos as a young woman.  They have certainly lost their colour and definition but are still there, if you see what I mean.  They are not easy to get rid of.

Had you considered trying out fake tattoos for a while to see what the reaction is and to see how you feel about them?

 

Edited August 12, 2021 by spiderowl

[basil67]

50 minutes ago, spiderowl said:

You might find you attract a few more unconventional or alternative admirers.

@Cookiesandough if I remember correctly, you're into a more alternative music scene.  This could work for you

Also, faded tattoos can be rejuvenated with fresh color

 

[Noproblem]

I dislike tattoos on guys. Not sure if it is a deal breaker for me, unless they are too much and too many!

Can't stand the idea of someone doing that to their skin and ruining it, but eh, whatever I guess, not my business. 

The job limitation is also a thing and not to mention the kind of tattoo there. Like there are some tattoos that make someone more attractive while there are ones that just hideous!

 

[Alpacalia]

A tattoo on a man strategically placed is pretty hot.

As for women, some guys will like it, others won't.

But yes, you have to consider employment. 

Like you definitely don't want to get one smack in the middle of your forehead. 😂

Edited August 12, 2021 by Alpaca