CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: Ok well I texted him finally about him being distant Fantastic. Good for you. You're standing up for yourself. Facing the obvious. Calmly. Good for you! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 29, 2021 Author Share Posted June 29, 2021 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Amanda92 said: And? He thought we were meeting today..apologized a hundred times for misscomunicating with the vague text earlier and we set up a meeting. He agreed that what he wrote didn't make sense but meant he wants to meet, just sent it really fast and was tired. Edited June 29, 2021 by Britney25 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tinyjaguar Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 (edited) Thank the lord! Just reading some of the above about game playing and control was starting to do my head in. As I've said before, sms is a terrible communication tool because too much can be read in to a text that is not there. What happened to good old fashioned conversation? If he knows now how you have been feeling for the last 24 hours or so, he will probably confused as to how it happened. My advice is to maybe pick up the phone once in a while and talk. Sms is very impersonal and devoid of emotion. By actually hearing each others voices on the phone, speech pattern and tone communicate far more than just the words being said. Edited June 29, 2021 by Tinyjaguar 4 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 2 hours ago, Britney25 said: He thought we were meeting today..apologized a hundred times for misscomunicating with the vague text earlier and we set up a meeting. He agreed that what he wrote didn't make sense but meant he wants to meet, just sent it really fast and was tired. This is AWESOME but can I also just say something...look what this blew up into (on here) and the point it had to get to before you could bring yourself to ask one simple question...there is an underlying something going on. I really think later when you're calmer, etc. that you should do some big soul searching to find out why you were almost paralyzed with fear to ask him one simple question. I truly think there's something you don't want to face up to. I'm no shrink, this is just an observation, take it or leave it. And I'm glad you talked. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 3, 2021 Author Share Posted July 3, 2021 Seeing my boyfriend for 4 months now. At the beginning he would tell me to stay over all the time, leave my stuff at his place( I never did) and hinting on moving in together. Now he rarely asks me to stay over. The other night we spent almost the whole day together and he suggested to take me home. I don't understand. He never even asks me to stay over on the weekends. We live really close to each other and we meet 2-3 times a week sometimes 4. Is this a red flag. He doesnt bring up moving in together anymore as well, or why haven't I left my things at his place. Today is Saturday and I just got a GM text from him but no suggestion of spending time together. Advice? Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
earlgreymuffin Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 (edited) Sorry you are feeling this way! Take a deep breath and calm down. It's been four months, and spending 2-4 times a week may be a lot for him(it would be too much for me, personally). He might just need some time to himself. I can't say this for everyone but talking about moving in together after 4 months does seem premature. You should have a talk with him about how many times yall should see each other in a week. Edited July 3, 2021 by earlgreymuffin Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 Putting this together with your other recent thread about him, I think you are correct that something is a bit different for him now. The one thing you need to drop is the idea that he should be asking you to move in. We all told you in your last thread that it is far too early to even be thinking about that, and advised you to stop listening to the friend that is putting those ideas in your head. However, you have noticed a shift. It might simply be that the honeymoon is wearing off for him already and he wants more space for himself. Or it might be that he is rethinking things. Why not have a conversation and ask him? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 56 minutes ago, Britney25 said: The other night we spent almost the whole day together and he suggested to take me home. He doesnt bring up moving in together anymore as well, or why haven't I left my things at his place. Today is Saturday and I just got a GM text from him but no suggestion of spending time together. Sorry this is happening Unfortunately, sounds like he's tiptoeing out of the relationship due to suffocating him, bizarre talk of moving in at 16 weeks dating etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 3, 2021 Author Share Posted July 3, 2021 12 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Putting this together with your other recent thread about him, I think you are correct that something is a bit different for him now. The one thing you need to drop is the idea that he should be asking you to move in. We all told you in your last thread that it is far too early to even be thinking about that, and advised you to stop listening to the friend that is putting those ideas in your head. However, you have noticed a shift. It might simply be that the honeymoon is wearing off for him already and he wants more space for himself. Or it might be that he is rethinking things. Why not have a conversation and ask him? How do I start this conversation with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 3, 2021 Author Share Posted July 3, 2021 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry this is happening Unfortunately, sounds like he's tiptoeing out of the relationship due to suffocating him, bizarre talk of moving in at 16 weeks dating etc. No. He started suggesting NOT ME. Please re read my post. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: No. He started suggesting NOT ME. Please re read my post. At any rate, he's losing interest regardless of who hinted, etc. Maybe he's coming to his senses maybe that moving in at 16 weeks is crazy talk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 3, 2021 Author Share Posted July 3, 2021 43 minutes ago, earlgreymuffin said: Sorry you are feeling this way! Take a deep breath and calm down. It's been four months, and spending 2-4 times a week may be a lot for him(it would be too much for me, personally). He might just need some time to himself. I can't say this for everyone but talking about moving in together after 4 months does seem premature. You should have a talk with him about how many times yall should see each other in a week. Thank you. How should I start the convo ?? The next time I see him what should I say? How hes feeling about us? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 3, 2021 Author Share Posted July 3, 2021 Just now, Wiseman2 said: At any rate, he's losing interest regardless of who hinted, etc. Maybe he's coming to his senses maybe that moving in at 16 weeks is crazy talk. Ok but I never mentioned moving in together after he dropped it. So why doesnt he ask me to spend weekends or nights?? Yesterdays date he suggested not me. I'm not suffocating him. I'm just worried that he slowed down. Link to post Share on other sites
earlgreymuffin Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 15 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Thank you. How should I start the convo ?? The next time I see him what should I say? How hes feeling about us? That's a great place to start. Frankly, I don't see what your boyfriend is doing wrong so you could sit down with him and tell him how you feel, instead of letting all these thoughts and doubts cloud up your head. He will respond how he wants, and you can go from there. You need to realize, however, that he deserves some space and respect from you. Seems like you are a little worried, clingy, sensitive etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 3, 2021 Author Share Posted July 3, 2021 1 hour ago, earlgreymuffin said: Sorry you are feeling this way! Take a deep breath and calm down. It's been four months, and spending 2-4 times a week may be a lot for him(it would be too much for me, personally). He might just need some time to himself. I can't say this for everyone but talking about moving in together after 4 months does seem premature. You should have a talk with him about how many times yall should see each other in a week. Btw he does tell me that I make him happy, he loves spending time with me. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 This again? If it's low interest you've got to start chatting up and dating other guys. From what you're saying this isn't quite there and you're not happy. I'm not understanding what's so interesting about this man. Next him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 25 minutes ago, Britney25 said: I'm just worried that he slowed down. He may have had some time to reflect on his trip and is deciding to fade out. Is there an ex or others he's interested in/talking to? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 3, 2021 Author Share Posted July 3, 2021 3 minutes ago, earlgreymuffin said: That's a great place to start. Frankly, I don't see what your boyfriend is doing wrong so you could sit down with him and tell him how you feel, instead of letting all these thoughts and doubts cloud up your head. He will respond how he wants, and you can go from there. You need to realize, however, that he deserves some space and respect from you. Seems like you are a little worried, clingy, sensitive etc. Don't him get me wrong, I understand he needs space but I thought it's normal to spend the night together, or hang out over the weekend. That's what couples do. Or is it too early for him? Hes 40 and been through a divorce before, no kids, maybe that's why hes suddenly not rushing? I mean I wish he would start these convos with me. He tells me I make him happy but sometimes I'm not sure. I dont text him constantly, I dont see how am I clingy. Should I ask him if I'm acting clingy? Lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 3, 2021 Author Share Posted July 3, 2021 2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: He may have had some time to reflect on his trip and is deciding to fade out. Is there an ex or others he's interested in/talking to? Why would he tell me I make him happy everytime I see him? He texts me sometimes twice a day. Why then? Or am I just paranoid that he doesnt ask me to stay over? Link to post Share on other sites
earlgreymuffin Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: Don't him get me wrong, I understand he needs space but I thought it's normal to spend the night together, or hang out over the weekend. That's what couples do. Or is it too early for him? Hes 40 and been through a divorce before, no kids, maybe that's why hes suddenly not rushing? I mean I wish he would start these convos with me. He tells me I make him happy but sometimes I'm not sure. I dont text him constantly, I dont see how am I clingy. Should I ask him if I'm acting clingy? Lol Why would he need to start the conversations with you? There is no "normal" amount of times a couple can see each other in any relationship stage. It depends on the couple. He might just be getting out of the honeymoon phase, and that is fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 3, 2021 Author Share Posted July 3, 2021 1 minute ago, earlgreymuffin said: Why would he need to start the conversations with you? There is no "normal" amount of times a couple can see each other in any relationship stage. It depends on the couple. He might just be getting out of the honeymoon phase, and that is fine. Really? But how do you explain him not asking me to sleep over on the weekend for example? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 3, 2021 Author Share Posted July 3, 2021 9 minutes ago, glows said: This again? If it's low interest you've got to start chatting up and dating other guys. From what you're saying this isn't quite there and you're not happy. I'm not understanding what's so interesting about this man. Next him. At this point I'm not sure if this is low interest from him. Just I sense he slowed down with plans for us. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 3, 2021 Author Share Posted July 3, 2021 15 minutes ago, earlgreymuffin said: That's a great place to start. Frankly, I don't see what your boyfriend is doing wrong so you could sit down with him and tell him how you feel, instead of letting all these thoughts and doubts cloud up your head. He will respond how he wants, and you can go from there. You need to realize, however, that he deserves some space and respect from you. Seems like you are a little worried, clingy, sensitive etc. So should I start the convo or will I come off as clingy? Link to post Share on other sites
earlgreymuffin Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 (edited) 16 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Really? But how do you explain him not asking me to sleep over on the weekend for example? Sometimes, my partner and I don't see each other because we want to hang out with friends or we just want to be left alone, and we both understand that. You need to realize that he has a life, and his life doesn't revolve around you. Yes, you can still make him happy and he can let you know that but generally you need to just chill out and let it cool. I honestly can't really tell if this is a troll post :// Edited July 3, 2021 by earlgreymuffin 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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