Am I crazy to think this?

[Ami1uwant]

1 hour ago, Britney25 said:

He just texted me. I'm home now and tired. Have a good evening with a kiss.

Thoughts?

[ ]

Stop the paranoid feeling like this weekend trip was some random hook up with another woman he’s seeing on the days he’s not seeing you.....

 

4 months is too soon to talk about moving in.

 

you need to talk about feelings with him.it serms you really want this...maybe he sees this as a fling.

you might not be at true open communication like him stressing with work especially if he had a big business trip to do this weekend.

 

 

Edited June 28, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
langauge

[Britney25]

1 hour ago, Ami1uwant said:

[ ]

Stop the paranoid feeling like this weekend trip was some random hook up with another woman he’s seeing on the days he’s not seeing you.....

 

4 months is too soon to talk about moving in.

 

you need to talk about feelings with him.it serms you really want this...maybe he sees this as a fling.

you might not be at true open communication like him stressing with work especially if he had a big business trip to do this weekend.

 

 

What would you reply back?

Edited June 28, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Britney25]

1 hour ago, Ami1uwant said:

[ ]

Stop the paranoid feeling like this weekend trip was some random hook up with another woman he’s seeing on the days he’s not seeing you.....

 

4 months is too soon to talk about moving in.

 

you need to talk about feelings with him.it serms you really want this...maybe he sees this as a fling.

you might not be at true open communication like him stressing with work especially if he had a big business trip to do this weekend.

 

 

Fling?! He asked me to be exclusive.  He told me I love you. He made plans for future even talking about children. I am his girlfriend so I have a right to know when I will see him next.

Edited June 28, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Britney25]

2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Your friend is either trying to sabotage your relationship, or does not understand how healthy relationships work. 

Stop listening to this person. They don't know what they're talking about. 

He texted me..home now, I'm tired. Have a good evening with a kiss.

How do I respond?

[Ami1uwant]

2 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

Fling?! He asked me to be exclusive.  He told me I love you. He made plans for future even talking about children. I am his girlfriend so I have a right to know when I will see him next.

Then why not just ask “ when can we get together again”

 

stop reading in to everything

[glows]

Wish him a goodnight and thank him for letting you know that he got back safely. 

If he wants to ask you out he will ask you out. Don't push for it. You're hanging off of his every word and feeling uneasy. Maybe you should ask yourself if you should be dating, period. Or, whether this man is right for you in the first place. 

If he doesn't ask you out any time soon, so? Date others and don't respond to his texts if they come too late or he seems uninterested or has low interest towards you. 

 

[Britney25]

1 minute ago, glows said:

Wish him a goodnight and thank him for letting you know that he got back safely. 

If he wants to ask you out he will ask you out. Don't push for it. You're hanging off of his every word and feeling uneasy. Maybe you should ask yourself if you should be dating, period. Or, whether this man is right for you in the first place. 

If he doesn't ask you out any time soon, so? Date others and don't respond to his texts if they come too late or he seems uninterested or has low interest towards you. 

 

I will text him that but were together 4 months exclusively so just saying bye boy is hard.

[glows]

1 minute ago, Britney25 said:

I will text him that but were together 4 months exclusively so just saying bye boy is hard.

Read a person's interest levels. If he's not interested eventually or does the slow fade (which I do not think he is doing, by the way), let him go and simply move on or don't respond to any other nonsense from that person. Your time is precious so don't waste your time or energy on someone who either 1) doesn't want the same things you want in a relationship or 2) doesn't communicate well enough to show enough interest to pursue anything meaningful further. 

From the sounds of things you have a lot of anxiety and you have to somehow learn to keep it under control. Be sensible and considerate to others, the way you would like to be treated in a relationship. Practice a wait and see approach and don't jump to conclusions if you're on the fence about something. You can be willing to observe carefully instead of worrying about taking action right away. Just observe. 

See how the coming week pans out but please do get a handle on your anxiety or it will get the better of you and drive people away. 

[CaliforniaGirl]

13 minutes ago, glows said:

Wish him a goodnight and thank him for letting you know that he got back safely. 

If he wants to ask you out he will ask you out. Don't push for it. You're hanging off of his every word and feeling uneasy. Maybe you should ask yourself if you should be dating, period. Or, whether this man is right for you in the first place. 

If he doesn't ask you out any time soon, so? Date others and don't respond to his texts if they come too late or he seems uninterested or has low interest towards you. 

 

👆there it is.

[MsJayne]

43 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

He just texted me. I'm home now and tired. Have a good evening with a kiss.

Thoughts?

That's great, he's thinking of you and letting you know what he's up to. Send him a "Goodnight, sweet dreams" and a kiss. But, when you see him in person, let him know you felt a bit uncomfortable at the sudden change in communication habit. Little things like that are what cause insecurity. 

[Tinyjaguar]

Wow, I think you need to calm down a bit.

SMS, although convenient, is a really crap way to communicate. It is always emotive and the onus is on the reader to set the tones of the text. Sometimes the same message can mean completely different things depending on the reader's mood.

Your boyfriend probably doesn't have a clue right now how worked up you have become over this.

[Britney25]

17 hours ago, MsJayne said:

That's great, he's thinking of you and letting you know what he's up to. Send him a "Goodnight, sweet dreams" and a kiss. But, when you see him in person, let him know you felt a bit uncomfortable at the sudden change in communication habit. Little things like that are what cause insecurity. 

How many times a week should we be meeting? Today he just texted thinking of you but nothing about meeting. I don't understand. 

[Britney25]

17 hours ago, glows said:

Read a person's interest levels. If he's not interested eventually or does the slow fade (which I do not think he is doing, by the way), let him go and simply move on or don't respond to any other nonsense from that person. Your time is precious so don't waste your time or energy on someone who either 1) doesn't want the same things you want in a relationship or 2) doesn't communicate well enough to show enough interest to pursue anything meaningful further. 

From the sounds of things you have a lot of anxiety and you have to somehow learn to keep it under control. Be sensible and considerate to others, the way you would like to be treated in a relationship. Practice a wait and see approach and don't jump to conclusions if you're on the fence about something. You can be willing to observe carefully instead of worrying about taking action right away. Just observe. 

See how the coming week pans out but please do get a handle on your anxiety or it will get the better of you and drive people away. 

How many times a week should we be meeting?

Today he just texted thinking of you and nothing about plans to meet. I don't get it. I feel hes not excited enough to see me. It has been 6 days we havent seen each other. 

[Britney25]

18 hours ago, Ami1uwant said:

Then why not just ask “ when can we get together again”

 

stop reading in to everything

I did ask him if we can meet Monday, he said Maybe. Today he just texted thinking of you and no plans to meet. Like wtf? 

[Britney25]

20 hours ago, poppyfields said:

Something I have learned is that relationships are not always linear.

They can take different paths with lots of twists and turns along the way; this is not necessarily a bad thing. 

To me it's 'normal' and to be expected as two separate individuals strive to move closer to one another.

It's important to remain open and flexible to changing nuances during this time (and all the time actually) let go of rigid expectations.

Otherwise you risk turning your partner off... and the whole thing blowing up and ending in an ugly way.

3-4 months is often when couples (or one partner) step back to reassess the potential of long term, it's happened in literally all my long term relationships.

Do NOT take personally.  

My advice is take a step back this week, do your own thing. 

When you hear from him, be happy, upbeat.  Squelch any pissed off feelings or resentment you have toward him for not living up to your self-imposed expectations.

Continue observing and play it out. Try to remain positive.

Good luck! 

Today he texted thinking of you. How much can he text me this without making plans?? It has been 6 days we havent seen each other. Yes he was traveling for 3 days but still. Is this normal? We live only 10 mins away from each other. 

[Britney25]

9 hours ago, Tinyjaguar said:

Wow, I think you need to calm down a bit.

SMS, although convenient, is a really crap way to communicate. It is always emotive and the onus is on the reader to set the tones of the text. Sometimes the same message can mean completely different things depending on the reader's mood.

Your boyfriend probably doesn't have a clue right now how worked up you have become over this.

I'm trying to calm down but he never behaved like this. Our meetings were never up in the air like it is now. I dont get it. Why tell me hes back Sunday when he didnt feel like meeting me. Today didnt text me about plans either. 

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

I feel hes not excited enough to see me.

That's possible. Is there an ex he's in touch with? He doesn't seem as into this as you are.

For example he seems to have a normal pace where moving in after dating 16 weeks seems too manic for most people.

What is wrong with your place vs his place? What's the hurry? What's the panic? 

[glows]

5 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

How many times a week should we be meeting?

Today he just texted thinking of you and nothing about plans to meet. I don't get it. I feel hes not excited enough to see me. It has been 6 days we havent seen each other. 

That depends on your schedules. Focus on your other ongoings and plans, ie workmates, friends, family. I can't speak for anyone else but I'd usually give someone a week to get back to me in the early dating stages. People take a few days sometimes to recoup after traveling, not to mention quarantine requirements or restrictions. He might have to restock his fridge, answer emails, pick up his dog at the doggy kennel or daycare. I don't go by one big rule, it's a see how it goes type of deal. 

See how it goes this week and make other plans.

[Britney25]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

That's possible. Is there an ex he's in touch with? He doesn't seem as into this as you are.

For example he seems to have a normal pace where moving in after dating 16 weeks seems too manic for most people.

What is wrong with your place vs his place? What's the hurry? What's the panic? 

Ok forget about me moving in. 

I'm talking about why he's texting me things like thinking of you and nothing else. 6 days we havent seen each other. He was traveling for 3 days, kept in contact yes. Came back yesterday,  texted hes home and tired, goodnight. Today he texted thibking about you from work and nothing else. I dont understand why he's not making plans to see me. I'm not going to initiate because I already asked him yesterday about meeting and he told me maybe Monday but for sure soon. Like wtf does that mean?

[stillafool]

18 hours ago, Britney25 said:

I will text him that but were together 4 months exclusively so just saying bye boy is hard.

Well slow yourself down before you scare him off.  I'm a woman and if a man was acting like this with me I couldn't take it.  It's only been 4 months.

[Britney25]

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

That's possible. Is there an ex he's in touch with? He doesn't seem as into this as you are.

For example he seems to have a normal pace where moving in after dating 16 weeks seems too manic for most people.

What is wrong with your place vs his place? What's the hurry? What's the panic? 

Oh and no ex that I know of. Maybe he's seeing someone else? But then why stay in touch?? Why keep on saying these thinking about you.

[Britney25]

2 minutes ago, glows said:

That depends on your schedules. Focus on your other ongoings and plans, ie workmates, friends, family. I can't speak for anyone else but I'd usually give someone a week to get back to me in the early dating stages. People take a few days sometimes to recoup after traveling, not to mention quarantine requirements or restrictions. He might have to restock his fridge, answer emails, pick up his dog at the doggy kennel or daycare. I don't go by one big rule, it's a see how it goes type of deal. 

See how it goes this week and make other plans.

He has no pets. He works till 5pm. He lives 10 minutes away from me. And it's not like he came back from Europe. Plus we are together 4 months now. Like wtf?! I see nothing but red flags.

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, Britney25 said:

Like wtf does that mean?

It means 'back off, you're suffocating me'.  Just chill, he'll contact you when he contacts you. Don't spill over into the bunny boiler territory. 

[Britney25]

2 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Well slow yourself down before you scare him off.  I'm a woman and if a man was acting like this with me I couldn't take it.  It's only been 4 months.

But acting like what? Hes my boyfriend. Plans are up in the air to meet. I dont want a pen pal! Hes behaviour changed.

[stillafool]

6 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

Ok forget about me moving in. 

I'm talking about why he's texting me things like thinking of you and nothing else. 6 days we havent seen each other. He was traveling for 3 days, kept in contact yes. Came back yesterday,  texted hes home and tired, goodnight. Today he texted thibking about you from work and nothing else. I dont understand why he's not making plans to see me. I'm not going to initiate because I already asked him yesterday about meeting and he told me maybe Monday but for sure soon. Like wtf does that mean?

Because "he's thinking of you" but busy.  Don't you have other things to do to keep yourself busy for 6 days?  Don't let him know this or you'll start to seem boring by making him your life.  It will turn him off. 

Edited June 28, 2021 by stillafool