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Guys should not give women their phone number


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Fresh_Start
16 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

We're here too! We're just up to our eyeballs in sh**ty men or married. Your point?  ;)  

Quit stealing my lines and come up with your own material. 😋

That was my point.  We're both here, but we're like two ships passing in the dark. For now. ;)     

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43 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

Why? My personal experience has SHOWN me that the men who I accepted phone numbers from, never considered me a priority to begin with. If that happens once, it's not considered a pattern. But this has happened to me a lot over the years, so I consider it a very reliable pattern of determining a man's level of interest in me. I view their phone number hand-off without asking me for mine first, as a tell. It tells me that their interest level in me is so-so, not more than that. It's about first impressions for me.  And, like this crazy experience in my OP, it does not make me feel like I"m the man's priority right from the start. Does it predict how they will treat me if we date? No, but it gives me a hint of where I'm starting from. And, if I believe that I'm starting from the standpoint of being just another female option, well, I don't like those odds. ....

Hey what works for you works for you.  I'm just giving you counter examples and my own perspective why I give my number first and why a guy who is 100% interested in you as more than an option might...again this is all through OLD so that may make it a bit different than meet on the street.  Also why guys who ask for numbers are not necessarily any more reliable in the interest in you as more than an option department.   I'm a guy though, it's not an issue that arises for me.

I don't doubt your experience, it could well be a thing with men in your area or those you attract just like most of the women I attract who are big on the phone call first are not my cup of tea.  I theoretically get why a phone call first is a good idea, just in practice for me it is usually a predictor of incompatibility.  Nevertheless I still did calls and tried not to let my past experience color an interaction as I don't think there is anything inherently off in the desire for a call.  All of our experiences in these regards could also just be a small sample size and us filtering our perceptions through the lens of our general dislike/discomfort of these approaches.  At least I try to keep that in mind.

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Fresh_Start
9 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said:

And how long have you been looking? As in, how old are you?

I'm so old my birth certificate was written in hieroglyphics.  😋

I've found love many times in my 43 years on this rock.  I've even been married to the most wonderful, beautiful woman I've ever known.  The issue I keep running into aside from eating bushels of bad apples is an inability to keep the women that are worth keeping because of factors that are outside of my control.  For example: I had a girlfriend who was raped and murdered by her step dad when I was 15, another shortly thereafter whose whole family bizarrely fled to another state without bothering to tell any of us, a wife who had been a beauty pageant contestant who was repeatedly molested by her grandfather when she was just a child (which ultimately caused our marriage to fall apart when her demons finally caught up to her), and even lost a near-fiancée to similarly tragic circumstances.  I have yet to remarry for 16 years. 

If there's a silver lining to that it's that I have had the great fortune to have loved and lived with multiple soul mates in my lifetime.  There will be another -- and maybe even one that I get to keep this time -- but I'll never find her if I give up.  I'm not sweating it.  I have more important goals for the time being anyways, so you lovely ladies will just have to wait a little bit longer for me. ;)

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Watercolors
2 hours ago, SumGuy said:

Hey what works for you works for you.  I'm just giving you counter examples and my own perspective why I give my number first and why a guy who is 100% interested in you as more than an option might...again this is all through OLD so that may make it a bit different than meet on the street.  Also why guys who ask for numbers are not necessarily any more reliable in the interest in you as more than an option department.   I'm a guy though, it's not an issue that arises for me.

I don't doubt your experience, it could well be a thing with men in your area or those you attract just like most of the women I attract who are big on the phone call first are not my cup of tea.  I theoretically get why a phone call first is a good idea, just in practice for me it is usually a predictor of incompatibility.  Nevertheless I still did calls and tried not to let my past experience color an interaction as I don't think there is anything inherently off in the desire for a call.  All of our experiences in these regards could also just be a small sample size and us filtering our perceptions through the lens of our general dislike/discomfort of these approaches.  At least I try to keep that in mind.

I do appreciate your counter examples and your own perspectives as a guy who gives his phone number out to women he's interested in. I can see your point about guy who ask for phone numbers aren't necessarily more reliable as far as interest level. I think if I hadn't had such consistently bad experiences with men giving me their phone numbers first, then turning out to be commitment-phobes, I may not associate the act of phone number exchange as a negative. But, I do. I am trying to change but I still want a man to ask me for my phone number. 

1 hour ago, Fresh_Start said:

I'm so old my birth certificate was written in hieroglyphics.  😋

I've found love many times in my 43 years on this rock.  I've even been married to the most wonderful, beautiful woman I've ever known.  The issue I keep running into aside from eating bushels of bad apples is an inability to keep the women that are worth keeping because of factors that are outside of my control.  For example: I had a girlfriend who was raped and murdered by her step dad when I was 15, another shortly thereafter whose whole family bizarrely fled to another state without bothering to tell any of us, a wife who had been a beauty pageant contestant who was repeatedly molested by her grandfather when she was just a child (which ultimately caused our marriage to fall apart when her demons finally caught up to her), and even lost a near-fiancée to similarly tragic circumstances.  I have yet to remarry for 16 years. 

If there's a silver lining to that it's that I have had the great fortune to have loved and lived with multiple soul mates in my lifetime.  There will be another -- and maybe even one that I get to keep this time -- but I'll never find her if I give up.  I'm not sweating it.  I have more important goals for the time being anyways, so you lovely ladies will just have to wait a little bit longer for me. ;)

43 years old is hardly hieroglyphics. If that's true, my birth certificate was etched into my family history through the oral tradition of storytellers over open fires under the stars, since I'm 49. Wow you have had a lot of challenges with your romantic partners. Sorry to hear. You have a very optimistic attitude about love and dating, which is a very healthy perspective to have. 

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Fresh_Start
20 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

43 years old is hardly hieroglyphics.

I know.  It's English. 😋

34 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

If that's true, my birth certificate was etched into my family history through the oral tradition of storytellers over open fires under the stars, since I'm 49.

Lol.  That's some 10/10 material right there and you didn't even need my help this time. 😇

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CaliforniaGirl
16 minutes ago, Fresh_Start said:

I know.  It's English. 😋

Lol.  That's some 10/10 material right there and you didn't even need my help this time. 😇

Extra credit for all the negging. You should teach a course. 😁

I have you both beat. I don't have a birth certificate because I'm so old there WAS no family history before me.

 

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Watercolors
21 minutes ago, Fresh_Start said:

I know.  It's English. 😋

Lol.  That's some 10/10 material right there and you didn't even need my help this time. 😇

Derp! Readers Digest Dad Joke alert! Oof! Yer killin' me, Smalls! 😆

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Watercolors
5 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Extra credit for all the negging. You should teach a course. 😁

I have you both beat. I don't have a birth certificate because I'm so old there WAS no family history before me.

 

Ahhh. Clan of the Cave Bear? Are you related to Ayla? Broud? 

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CaliforniaGirl
3 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

Ahhh. Clan of the Cave Bear? Are you related to Ayla? Broud? 

OMG...one of my favorite books of all time. Yes, they tap out my adventures on the back of a bone bowl while somebody acts them out in front of the fire.

I like it, I'm into the attention. 

 

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Watercolors
Just now, CaliforniaGirl said:

OMG...one of my favorite books of all time. Yes, they tap out my adventures on the back of a bone bowl while somebody acts them out in front of the fire.

I like it, I'm into the attention. 

 

Jean Auel is literally my favorite writer of all time. I LOVE THOSE BOOKS! Her prehistoric novels are my favorite! And the 1986 movie with Daryl Hannah was fantastic. 

You are hilarious! For a prehistoric woman! 😆

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9 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

Derp! Readers Digest Dad Joke alert! Oof! Yer killin' me, Smalls! 😆

Once was a time every bathroom seemed to have a Readers Digest or TV Guide....after the time of the Sear Roebuck :)

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4 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

OMG...one of my favorite books of all time.

Same...inspired me to make a sling

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CaliforniaGirl
4 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

Jean Auel is literally my favorite writer of all time. I LOVE THOSE BOOKS! Her prehistoric novels are my favorite! And the 1986 movie with Daryl Hannah was fantastic. 

You are hilarious! For a prehistoric woman! 😆

Me thank! Me be here all week, try the veal.

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Watercolors
10 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

Once was a time every bathroom seemed to have a Readers Digest or TV Guide....after the time of the Sear Roebuck :)

Those were the daaaays a la Archie Bunker. 
 

8 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

Same...inspired me to make a sling

Inspired me to use Sun-In in my brown hair to become Ayla. I became...Orange-head. 

 

6 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Me thank! Me be here all week, try the veal.

Ugh. Me try the veal. Ugh. 

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8 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

Inspired me to use Sun-In in my brown hair to become Ayla. I became...Orange-head. 

Did you shape it into a cone and say you came from France....or I guess could always say you were following devo-lution.   :) 

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Watercolors
14 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

Did you shape it into a cone and say you came from France....or I guess could always say you were following devo-lution.   :) 

"May I have 55 words with you?"

And whip it. Whip it good. 

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Fresh_Start

Looks like your thread has officially turned into a chatroom, Watercolors.  Let's see what kind of entertaining hijinks I missed out on after I hit the hay.

11 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Extra credit for all the negging. You should teach a course. 😁

Oof.  I used to box so I'm no stranger to low blows, but I'm not sure how to take that one.  Negging carries a lot of less than flattering connotations to it.  I'll put that one on ice for now in case it has some new meaning that I'm ignorant of.

11 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

I don't have a birth certificate because I'm so old there WAS no family history before me.

So are we talking Eve level origins or are you still rockin' a vestigial tail? 😋

12 hours ago, Watercolors said:

Derp! Readers Digest Dad Joke alert! Oof! Yer killin' me, Smalls! 😆

I wasn't a fan of that one either, but I'd already taken my sleeping pills and was fading like a barber.  It was raz-worthy though so have at it. ;)

12 hours ago, Watercolors said:

Ahhh. Clan of the Cave Bear?

One of my all time favorite books as well.  I got lucky some years ago and found the movie with Darryl Hannah in the bargain bin.  I still own it to this day. 

12 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

OMG...one of my favorite books of all time. Yes, they tap out my adventures on the back of a bone bowl while somebody acts them out in front of the fire.

I like it, I'm into the attention. 

🤣 You are hilarious enough that I might give you a free pass on the "negging" comment.  Emphasis on might. ;) I've seen some other posts of yours with some very witty comments as well.  

Back to work.

*Fresh_Start has left the chat*

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