I sent pictures of someone else to a girl who has now fallen in love with me and wants to meet me in person

[thomas131313]

8 hours ago, The Outlaw said:

I also know what it’s like to get close to someone you’ve never met before because I have recently. But all you can do is tell her it wasn’t you in the photo. It may change things, but if she likes you as much as she says she does, everything may turn out OK. But after four months of chatting, it’s more than high time for a meet up. 

she is so emotional talking about all these different things all the time, this isint much different than other things she has said but today she said ' im so sorry about what i was talking about yesterday and the perpetual loop, ive thought about it and i think you were sent to me to break the loop, to allow me to have the happy ending i have always wanted but could never love myself enough to attract, and likewise i was sent to you to save you, we are eachothers guardian angels and i love you so much '  i just cant imagine how a girl this emotional and spiritual is going to react to me either telling her the truth or making up a excuse, i feel like i have ruined her life for sure no matter what now, and mine as well somewhat

[The Outlaw]

21 minutes ago, thomas131313 said:

i just cant imagine how a girl this emotional and spiritual is going to react to me either telling her the truth or making up a excuse, i feel like i have ruined her life for sure no matter what now, and mine as well somewhat

I get that you've developed a bond with her. I did with someone too. But you won't know unless you try. I hope it works out for you, but you should have cast any fears you may have had to the side and sent her an actual picture. Honesty on top of loyalty and openness to me are key in any potential relationships. But if you want to try to keep it going just tell her the truth. 

[thomas131313]

On 5/18/2020 at 2:32 AM, K.K. said:

I think you need a certain number of posts. Maybe 100. 

 

It’s bound to be really, really difficult.  

if i tell her the truth how should i do it? just tell her that i got carried away and i didnt mean to hurt her and i didnt think she would like what i looked like and i wasnt sure what to do when we started to actually like eachother, and then maybe ask her what she wants to do now? i just cant see her accepting me not cause i lied, but cause of how much she thinks i look a certain way, even today she told me her brother and his girlfriend were talking about us and wanting to meet me. her brothers girlfriend thinks i look like the girl im talking to and her brother and all this stuff similiar coloring and then she said its no pressure on me, but it was more nice and people want to meet me. she has thought about how i look so much in her head i cant see her getting past this, maybe i should just end it now or soon and make up a excuse. as you can tell i cant seem to decide

[thomas131313]

On 5/18/2020 at 2:32 AM, K.K. said:

I think you need a certain number of posts. Maybe 100. 

 

It’s bound to be really, really difficult.  

holy s*** she just called me saying im not who i say i am omg howd she find out wow

[basil67]

The bigger question is how did she react?  

[thomas131313]

i put it out in the universe so much this is so crazy she has already sent her family and friends pictures but they were asking for more and i guess her brothers girlfriend found me online. she literally just said she still loved me im talking to her right now her reaction is what you think it would be really bad

[thomas131313]

the crazy thing is she called me and was crying and couldnt talk and when she was doing that i knew

[thomas131313]

she said she still cares about me shes so embarrased to her family

[thomas131313]

she hates the lieing

[thomas131313]

she doesnt know how i could lie to her about who i am for so long

[thomas131313]

she said shes still in love with me this is crazy she said she wish i would have just told her i almost did a couple days ago

[K.K.]

57 minutes ago, thomas131313 said:

holy s*** she just called me saying im not who i say i am omg howd she find out wow

Holy s*** ! 😮 

Ok look, when I said throw yourself on her mercy, I meant it. Can you imagine how broken and fk’ed over she feels right now knowing you aren’t the ‘you’ that she took her clothes off for? (Wait. I didn’t read the whole entire thread, she sent you dirty pics right and got on cam?) She said she still likes you. She’s upset and probably in some kind of grief zone. Her love bubble is broken. So here in a bit, she’s probably going to stop crying and get really, really mad. This is when you need to keep being apologetic. Explain it again to her. You didn’t know it would escalate this much. You didn’t know it would come to all these feelings and such. Blahbadee blah. 

If you don’t and you turn cold and defensive on her, she’s going to get vindictive in a hurry. People can call me a sociopath too but hey... damage control. You have the ace up your sleeve. You have her dirty pictures. If she starts threatening to send her brother or uncle jim bob over to kick your ass, mention that you’re so very sorry that you hurt her and that you’d keep her pics under lock and key.  Hopefully, she’s smart enough to take the hint. 

Give her time to process what you’ve told her. Really show her that you’re sorry and that you just got in over your head. See that’s the bad thing! She had to find out another way. Now she’s going to question when you were going to tell her and she might not believe that you really were going to tell her. 

I mean, s*** ... it’s out in the open now. 

She does know what you look like now, right? Or does she just know that it wasn’t you in the pics? 

[thomas131313]

she said she fell in love with who i am not the looks

[thomas131313]

i wish i would have told her instead of her getting embarrased like this

[basil67]

Though of course, if she gets vindictive, and you react with any comment other than destroying those photos, she will undoubtedly get even more vindictive.   

Release those photos and expect the police to come calling.  Or someone bigger and scarier.   Or for the whole of #metoo to coming raining down on your head as you are publicly shamed.  Blackmail doesn't always work as we hope - especially when used to cover up one's own misdeeds.  

[thomas131313]

she cant make it work with her family and friends when shes embarrassed

[basil67]

Just now, thomas131313 said:

she cant make it work with her family and friends when shes embarrassed

Why not?   If this happened to my daughter, I'd be down on you like a ton of bricks.

Edited May 20, 2020 by basil67

[thomas131313]

Just now, basil67 said:

Why not?

well even if she wanted to be with me now how would that look now that her family and friends know i lied to her

[thomas131313]

shes asking me to come over omg

[basil67]

Ah, you must have been responding to KK and not me.

You're right, it can't work now that you've been outed.  Though I think that embarrassment is what you are feeling.  She's done nothing to be embarrassed about.  Her feelings are likely more akin to fury and anger at being decieved.

[K.K.]

2 minutes ago, thomas131313 said:

well even if she wanted to be with me now how would that look now that her family and friends know i lied to her

Well just try to bow out humbly and give her space. I agree with basil you can’t actually show her pics to anybody or her family will kill you. I just thought a small tit for tat hint would at least keep you from getting your ass beat. 

[thomas131313]

i might go over to her house

[K.K.]

2 minutes ago, thomas131313 said:

shes asking me to come over omg

Don’t do it man. It’s a trap. Don’t do it. 

[thomas131313]

i dont think its a trap honestly you guys dont know this girl

[thomas131313]

she is really embarrased cause she got played think about how dumb she looks guys