Mr. Lucky Posted November 17, 2019 Share Posted November 17, 2019 And if that ends up being the case, I just might have to do that myself. Actually, it was you I was addressing. Their location up to them... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted November 17, 2019 Share Posted November 17, 2019 The court will do what’s in the best interest of the child. You need to see a lawyer to make an argument on why it’s best if your son stays put. You can always ask for custody as well. There’s nothing saying you can’t. But think long and hard about what’s in your child’s best interest also. You're concerned about the drive, understandably so, but it has no bearing on your son. You’re the parent, sacrifice is part of parenting. Maybe it’s not about the new guy driving less either, I don’t know why you’re putting all the focus on the drive. A judge won’t like that. It’s not about the adults here, it’s about what’s best for the kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LinThizzy85 Posted November 18, 2019 Author Share Posted November 18, 2019 The court will do what’s in the best interest of the child. You need to see a lawyer to make an argument on why it’s best if your son stays put. You can always ask for custody as well. There’s nothing saying you can’t. But think long and hard about what’s in your child’s best interest also. You're concerned about the drive, understandably so, but it has no bearing on your son. You’re the parent, sacrifice is part of parenting. Maybe it’s not about the new guy driving less either, I don’t know why you’re putting all the focus on the drive. A judge won’t like that. It’s not about the adults here, it’s about what’s best for the kids. I’m not focusing on the drive, other than how it plays into the ability to see my son during the school week. I’ve driven that long, if not longer, to see my son for the first few years of his life, so I know I can handle it. But now, our time is more split up during the week. So losing even one day or one event is pretty tough, not just for me, but for my son. I AM thinking about my son and what’s good for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LinThizzy85 Posted November 18, 2019 Author Share Posted November 18, 2019 Actually, it was you I was addressing. Their location up to them... Mr. Lucky Like I said, if I have to do that, I will. And again, I know their location is up to them. There’s no harm in trying to work out a compromise I thought.. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 18, 2019 Share Posted November 18, 2019 There’s no harm in trying to work out a compromise I thought.. While it’s always good to keep communication open, your focus should be on making your end of this existing arrangement work for you and your son. Has it occurred to you that, in wanting to understand the parameters of this planned move, your ex may have consulted a family law attorney? Not sure why you’re averse to sitting down with one yourself... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author LinThizzy85 Posted November 18, 2019 Author Share Posted November 18, 2019 While it’s always good to keep communication open, your focus should be on making your end of this existing arrangement work for you and your son. Has it occurred to you that, in wanting to understand the parameters of this planned move, your ex may have consulted a family law attorney? Not sure why you’re averse to sitting down with one yourself... Mr. Lucky I have spoken with an attorney about this specific issue before, back when my son was first born. All I really got out of that was that the courts aren’t going to permit me to stop a move if it’s within the state, or less than 100 miles away. If she was trying to move my son during the school year, I’d likely have more of a say in delaying it, at the least. Or if it was out of state. I’m not saying I already know I won’t go back to my attorney, there’s a chance I might have to, if she doesn’t at least try and adjust our routine to fit in with the added distance and all. For now it’s all still up in the air, it seems. Currently just waiting to hear if it’s even going to happen definitely or not. This post was more or less just a way to share my story and get some opinions, in the meantime. Thank you all for your responses and opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 18, 2019 Share Posted November 18, 2019 Hope you continue to get quality time with your son. There’s certainly no substitute for being there. Let us know how things turn out... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author LinThizzy85 Posted November 18, 2019 Author Share Posted November 18, 2019 Hope you continue to get quality time with your son. There’s certainly no substitute for being there. Let us know how things turn out... Mr. Lucky Thank you, Mr. Lucky. I’m trying to be a good father, and a fair and reasonable co-parent, but sometimes it feels like driving in the rain with no windshield wipers. I appreciate the responses and the thought behind them. It feels good to have a place to talk to people, so for that I am thankful for this site. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 but sometimes it feels like driving in the rain with no windshield wipers. Forget co-parenting, that’s an apt description for parenting in general. I examined all four of my kids closely, nary a one came with instruction manual... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Pastypop Posted December 13, 2019 Share Posted December 13, 2019 (edited) According to a lawyer I consulted last year, the rule in my state is 50 miles. She said I could get around that restriction if I moved them while still married before any custody agreement was drawn up. I did just that. I used the excuse that there weren’t really any jobs there except temp jobs and the schools stink. There is actually a lot of work there but I hated the place. I moved my kids 80 miles away and enrolled them in a fantastic school system in another state. If my husband decided to divorce me, he really has no leg to stand on as he allowed the move in the first place. (Well, I just kind of signed a lease, took them and didn’t give him or the kids a choice). I have kept my old state residency because I will be awarded at least triple the monthly child support there and they offer pretty good college assistance. He comes down at least once or twice a week. At some point he will either move here or get a divorce as my kids and I love it here and have no intentions of ever moving back. Edited December 13, 2019 by Pastypop Corrected grammar Link to post Share on other sites
jeff0011 Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 You can never prevent her from moving. you can either go for full custody, or allow the move. If you allow the move request more time in the summer and holidays. not everyone understands but even losing an extra day is tough. Link to post Share on other sites
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