crispytoast Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 I was talking about gendered double standards, which were brought into the thread before I entered it. You appeared to be responding to me so forgive my assumption. Taking gendered assumptions out of what you said, yes a joke is less serious than assertion, but I still think it's not healthy. And then bringing gender back into it, if a man were joking about killing his date for a 2nd no show, I still stand by my previous statement that a majority of the forum would be advising her not to attend the date. Link to post Share on other sites
Emmafive Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 I was talking about gendered double standards, which were brought into the thread before I entered it. You appeared to be responding to me so forgive my assumption. Taking gendered assumptions out of what you said, yes a joke is less serious than assertion, but I still think it's not healthy. And then bringing gender back into it, if a man were joking about killing his date for a 2nd no show, I still stand by my previous statement that a majority of the forum would be advising her not to attend the date. She’s been around his family so this isn’t some casual fling. Clearly they have a lot rapport to bring her around his family. Since they have that rapport the joke is perfectly healthy. Also, because this isn’t a casual relationship OP bailing on her makes it a lot worse so she has even more reason and place to let him know in some form or fashion that she’s ticked. I don’t think you’re taking into consideration context here. And no, if the gender roles were reverse we’d be telling her to leave the poor man because she’s flakey which isn’t promising so early on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 2nd attempt: OP: what frightens you the most about this line? Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 Wow, some people read into things so deeply and are so easily put on edge or offended. I can't imagine trying to navigate the world on egg shells like that. Seems like every situation would be so complicated. If a man said the same thing that this woman did to me, I would not be put on edge, or concerned about red flags, or abuse, or murder. I simply trust my ability to judge character, if the OP has a spidy sense that this woman is ... Nefarious - then cut her lose. It's amazing to me how the same situation can be interpreted in such extremely different ways. Link to post Share on other sites
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