He lost interest suddenly, hurt :(

[Calmandfocused]

Op, I don’t think it was someone else. I don’t think it was anything to do with you.

 

I think this is a case of commitment phobia. He panicked and pulled back.

 

The reason I think this is because it’s sounds like everything was moving nicely towards a relationship then .... bam! The fear kicked in and then he ran off faster than a rat up a drainpipe.

 

He’s been single for 2 years, he was preoccupied with taking it “slow” (but it wasn’t), yet he was giving every sign of being really into you. Yep, I’m convinced that emotional unavailability was the culprit here, nothing else.

 

And I believe he was into you and found you very attractive. That was the problem as I see it.

[smackie9]

Look I already mentioned why he didn't tell you right away...it's because he was still figuring it out, and making sure this was the decision he wanted to make. This is from the years of being on these forums, reading threads about people who were in his position. It happens more that you think. Not everyone develops feelings over 2 months of dating. And like one poster mentioned, that is why we date! To see if they are the one for us.He obviously liked you enough to date you....but the feelings just didn't happen. And TBH he did tell you as soon as he knew it wasn't going to work for him. Most women don't even get that, they get the slow fade, or ghosted on. You got lucky.

[beentheredonethat77]

The lack of compliments and only ever saying "i enjoy your company" -- speaks volumes. If he cant shower you with compliments in the dating phase, imagine what he'll be like down the line when he gets lazier with his affections. I think you dodged a bullet..

[newyorker11356]

The lack of compliments and only ever saying "i enjoy your company" -- speaks volumes. If he cant shower you with compliments in the dating phase, imagine what he'll be like down the line when he gets lazier with his affections. I think you dodged a bullet..

 

To be fair, not everyone showers compliments the same way. He just may not be someone who's wired that way. Sounds like someone who's primary giving love language is words of affection that would give compliments often.

[Gurl]

I have an update for anyone interested. So my friend saw his profile back on the dating site with a NEW picture that he just took like recently. So basically it seems it wasnt someone else that he met. There was no one else since he’s back online looking for someone. His profile says looking for a relationship. So he really just didn’t like me this is such a blow to the ego. I would have preferred that he met someone else as opposed to not liking me specifically. I really don’t know what I did wrong. He seemed so into me and all of a sudden changed his mind so fast. It seemed really fast to me, like he was talking about the next time he will see me and even saying I hope I get to you see you cause I’d like to keep seeing you and all that.

 

Was I imagining that he was into me? Like how do I even date anymore if a guy that showed all the signs of really liking me, probably never did the whole time. How do I even know if a guy is into me or not? Ahhh I’m so confused

 

 

I’m also kind of mad that he slept with me multiple times and acted like he was into me with all the cuddling and holding hands, which is obviously gonna get me attached to him, if he clearly wasn’t into me.

Edited September 8, 2019 by Gurl

[mortensorchid]

I've been where you are as well. It seems like six months and suddenly some of them bail - they don't want to make a commitment or they don't take the relationship seriously. I wonder why, because they all rebound and just keep jumping from one to another to another or they stay with the next one who ends up being a trashy woman who takes advantage of them for years.

 

But whatever the case may be with this guy, just move on. You're done.

[Angel29]

The fact he was in such a rush is a warning sign. He could have taken a bit more time. A lot of online daters get addicted and are always looking for something better when they don't realise they have given up someone good. Focus on yourself and stay off dating for a while whilst you get over him. He will use the next person and do the same again.

[Gurl]

@Angel29...

 

Taken a bit more time for what? Sorry I don’t follow, he said he didn’t want to rush into anything

Edited September 9, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Versacehottie]

Again sorry you are feeling heartbroken and ego blown.

 

But i have to say (such as in your response to angel) you are being a little naive and again to my original point too linear. It's not allowing your instincts to turn on. If some guy said to me that he didn't "want to rush into things" or "wanted a relationship" I would look for evidence in his actions that backed that up totally and fully. For both a clue into his intentions (conscious and subconscious) as well as his CHARACTER. Am I going to rely on what he says, nope!

 

also a big mistake is you seem to be processing "what he would do" based on "what you would do" if you had the same things swirling around in your head. First off, he's a guy--that means he likely won't process things the same as you. Secondly, he's a different person. Once you turn on your ability to hypothesize that others have different approaches to doing things and a variety of intentions and that sometimes even unclear intentions--including to themselves, let alone the ones they share---you will be better positioned to extract what information and clues you need to guide yourself.

 

I think it turns out that he is just not that into you, which happens. Don't treat it as if he is a person with a fixed agenda and once you bypass getting his initial interest and you are home free after you make it through dates 1 and 2. People are fluid beings. His intention may be to gather information about you while proceeding in an affectionate way IN ORDER to determine if there is enough there to pursue a relationship. LOTS of guys are like this and there is nothing wrong with it. He may not know what he wants from you UNTIL he has a sufficient amount of information to decide. Why wouldn't a person with that mindset proceed AS iF it will go well and turn out as he hopes? He is simultaneously trying to impress you so he's not going to purposely sabotage his end of presenting how he would be in a relationship.

 

Idk, i think opening your mind to possibilities of what people will help you. And at same time let go of needing to figure things such as his reasons. Sometimes he can't even explain it, it's just not enough like/love to continue. Good luck

[frus69]

He liked you, had fun with you but he dint feel you are the one. So 3 months in, he sensed you are falling and expecting this to get serious, and he stopped it to not waste any more of your time and feelings.

[stillafool]

The chemistry thing could be possible, going by what he said. But I don’t understand why he kept dating me! I’ve been on at most 3 dates with someone I didn’t find that attractive and didn’t feel chemistry with. He also would cuddle me all night and when he woke up. Even just watching a movie he would hold my hand, and would always be the one kissing me first. So why do all that? But I’ve never gone on 8 dates or slept with them multiple times. So obviously I thought he really liked me by then. I thought he was acting like a boyfriend at that stage. Cuddling, holding my hand, taking me on trips.

 

He did all of that because he is an affectionate person. He needs the human touch like anyone else. He probably acts that way with everyone he dates. Who doesn't? It doesn't mean that they want a relationship or that they are falling in love.