MINAKO Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 Well, I hope you are also going multiple days in between texts. Otherwise, you have been enabling and encouraging his behaviour this whole time since you still see him and everything. And since you have not brought this issue up with him, he has no reason to believe there even is a problem. I do not think anything will magically change unless you talk about this with him. In the end, there really is no way of knowing what is going on in his mind unless you ask. Something like "Okay so I just want to clear something up. You take forever to reply to me! I am wondering where you see this going, if you are serious about us" - something like that. I have been in similar situations and have been too shy, but in that case, I would have a few drinks and then speak my mind. You have to, or else things will always be like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Spring1234 Posted July 9, 2019 Author Share Posted July 9, 2019 Yes this is the same guy I wrote the other thread about. We aren't having sex, he won't do more than kiss me. I don't really text him, I used to however I don't want it to be one sided. I have asked him in the past about the texting and he just said he'd work on it, just thought he would get better with it. Link to post Share on other sites
MINAKO Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 But he did not get better, right? Ultimately, I believe you should protect yourself from a greater heartbreak should you involve yourself further with him. You are already a much better lover than he is, whereas he seems comfortable not considering your feelings when he goes days and days without even single message. I know how that feels, it hurts. It has happened to me, even recently. Just know you do not deserve this behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Spring1234 Posted July 9, 2019 Author Share Posted July 9, 2019 But he did not get better, right? Ultimately, I believe you should protect yourself from a greater heartbreak should you involve yourself further with him. You are already a much better lover than he is, whereas he seems comfortable not considering your feelings when he goes days and days without even single message. I know how that feels, it hurts. It has happened to me, even recently. Just know you do not deserve this behaviour. Thank you, he just is so nice on our dates. He seems to really care about me and my feelings. We really like each other and I'm happy to be with him. I just wish things could be better Link to post Share on other sites
MINAKO Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 Thank you, he just is so nice on our dates. He seems to really care about me and my feelings. We really like each other and I'm happy to be with him. I just wish things could be better I know what you mean. I am in a very similar situation, but I am going to deal with it when I am back home in the Autumn. I read your other thread. Things can always be better. I believe it would help you out so much if you could share with him some of the things that have been on your mind these days. Maybe he has no idea, you know? Link to post Share on other sites
Flame Aura Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 Sorry OP but what you have is not a relationship... more like you are just friends. Find a proper boyfriend, this guy sounds like a kid. Link to post Share on other sites
b1a6 Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 Hi my friend, I think this post from months ago is sadly still spot on... Dang what...? Even 26 year old guys are considered to be like that? I'm 25/F but I would think that most guys that age are entering the phase of looking for something more serious... guess I'll have to find out when I start grad school this year Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 This is the same guy that can go 10-11 days without contact. He's not your bf hun, he's just a guy who is casually dating you. The lack of communicating/contact plus the lack of sexual contact paints a picture of a lack of interest on his part. Oops, I think I meant to write this on your other thread about no sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Spring1234 Posted July 10, 2019 Author Share Posted July 10, 2019 He's off all week and I'm a teacher, so he knows I'm off and I haven't heard from him. I thought he would have gotten better with keeping in touch. Maybe if people have nothing to say they don't text? Link to post Share on other sites
SophieG Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 I don’t know, that’s just weird to me. My boyfriend isn’t a big big texter, but he’ll still write me 2-3 texts throughout his. I’m off for the summer, so he knows I’m not working and he calls me about 2-3 times a day + in the evening before he goes to sleep. Sometimes it’s a 2 minute phone call, but he keeps in touch frequently. Since we started dating a year ago, there hasn’t been a day where I didn’t hear from him. Not one. So him not texting or calling for a few days in a row would be a big red flag for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 (edited) So lets get this straight, he wont text you and he wont touch you (in your other post). This screams to me that he is not romantically interested in you. You have put off sex for so long that he has lost interest, yet still remains your friend. Not saying that that's not your right. It's perfectly reasonable to want to wait for the right time. But wanting to do allot of other sexual stuff is clearly frustrating for him (as well as most people). You just don't seem to grasp this. You complain about him allot, about his lifestyle etc yet you say you really like him. I can understand why you have such difficulty getting people to date you. Edited July 10, 2019 by Maddie82 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Spring1234 Posted July 11, 2019 Author Share Posted July 11, 2019 (edited) I guess he wants a long term casual relationship. Even though he acts like he likes me a lot and says he wants a long term relationship, he must not realize that being in a real relationship needs more communication. It still annoys me the lack of texting, however now I just know that's how he is and what he thinks he wants he doesn't. He wants to casually date someone long term. Edited July 11, 2019 by Spring1234 Link to post Share on other sites
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