Is it a good sign if he asked where things are going/moving forward?

[stillafool]

OP I would just come out and ask him "are we dating or is our relationship platonic"? Why wait it out when you can ask him and find out right away. If he asks you why you're asking tell him "because you haven't kissed me".

[Oak]

It's obvious that the guy likes you (not just as a friend), but I think he is as confused as you are (probably more). Sure, you planned the last date, but then you tried to cancel the last part of it. Do you think that he interprets that as you liking him? I wouldn't. I'd view that as you changing your mind and looking for a way out. This could explain why he hasn't texted you since that "date".

 

Just tell the guy you like him...or at least flirt with him with actual physical contact. Dressing nice and smelling good does not tell him that you like him. It just shows that you care about your appearance, which has nothing to do with him.

 

At this point, I think you just need to be direct and tell him that you like him. There's been enough confusion and mixed messages going on. He likes you.

[Abouttt]

Thank you again for your answers!

 

He hasn’t reached out yet and I’m starting to think he lost interest or that he never was in the first place. I also think that maybe it was a mistake to plan a date without knowing if he really was into me.

 

I won’t reach out to him or try to imitate things, I really don’t want to chase him.

 

@oak For the last activity, there was a lineup and I knew he didn’t sleep a lot the night before and that he had to wake up early on the next day, so I told him it was okay of we don’t do it and he then said he wanted to and I said okay and we had fun. We sure were a little bit on a hurry at the end (I had to reach my bus) so maybe the last impression on that date turned him off.

 

I’m just a bit disappointed today because I realize that exactly one year ago, my ex broke up with and 365 days later, I’m in a situation where a guy might be ghosting me. I think I’m cursed ?

 

If he ever reaches out to me and asks me out, I’ll kick his leg super hard as @livingwaterplease approved loll

 

I’m thinking about going on a date with another guy just to think about someone else and to ‘keep my options open’, but I’m not interested in anyone and I know it’ll be a loss of time. I’ve gone on dates with 10-15 guys in the last few months (almost all just first date), so I know what it’s like and it’s really exhausting. Then I met him and he was different. Anyways, I’ll have answers with time

[kendahke]

Anyways, I just get a hug at the end of our dates.

 

It's time for you to step in to him and kiss him. See what he does then.

 

What do you think about him not reaching out after our last date (that I planned)? I won’t initiate a text because

 

is playing this game more important than you just point blank asking him why he doesn't seem attracted to you? If you are sitting back and not initiating, he may be taking it as you're not interested and he doesn't want to crowd your space. If you're acting like his buddy when you're out and not like his girlfriend, then he could be getting the message that you're good with what you two have going on.

[kendahke]

, I need to know where he stands and what his futur actions will be.

 

You won't know that until you have a conversation with him and that may require you stepping out of your comfort zone and extending yourself.

[Abouttt]

It's time for you to step in to him and kiss him. See what he does then.

 

 

 

is playing this game more important than you just point blank asking him why he doesn't seem attracted to you? If you are sitting back and not initiating, he may be taking it as you're not interested and he doesn't want to crowd your space. If you're acting like his buddy when you're out and not like his girlfriend, then he could be getting the message that you're good with what you two have going on.

 

I honestly don’t want to play a game, I just don’t feel like reaching out to him. I think it’s a bad idea to initiate, I’m already in a vulnerable state. Him staying silent would be an answer. He might be a little it clueless about physical contact, but he has social skills and he knows how to initiate and plan dates. I also know by experience that once I start to initiate things with a guy, I’m not comfortable and it creates a weird vibe and the guy loses interest. I just don’t know why. I also know that me not reaching out has always been the right thing to do while there’s ambiguity with a guy. I’m more of an old fashioned person and I won’t ‘man up’ or step up at his place.

 

I give him this week and if he doesn’t do anything, I’ll just get the hint and move on with my life.

[Curiousroxy86]

I wouldn't initiate. Show interest in men who show interest in you. That is the men who contact you. Respond back with interest.

 

And yes Date other men.

 

If he does contact you and y'all get a conversation going then simply ask if he likes kissing and see what he says

 

And if he responds favorably give him one more date to kiss you. If he don't let him go and continue date other men

[MaleIntuition]

I honestly don’t want to play a game, I just don’t feel like reaching out to him. I think it’s a bad idea to initiate, I’m already in a vulnerable state. Him staying silent would be an answer. He might be a little it clueless about physical contact, but he has social skills and he knows how to initiate and plan dates. I also know by experience that once I start to initiate things with a guy, I’m not comfortable and it creates a weird vibe and the guy loses interest. I just don’t know why. I also know that me not reaching out has always been the right thing to do while there’s ambiguity with a guy. I’m more of an old fashioned person and I won’t ‘man up’ or step up at his place.

 

I give him this week and if he doesn’t do anything, I’ll just get the hint and move on with my life.

 

Or perhaps you are afraid of rejection and you are adjusting your beliefs in order minimise the risk of a direct rejections..?

 

Have you initiated any dates with him yet?

[Grey40]

I honestly don’t want to play a game, I just don’t feel like reaching out to him. I think it’s a bad idea to initiate, I’m already in a vulnerable state. Him staying silent would be an answer. He might be a little it clueless about physical contact, but he has social skills and he knows how to initiate and plan dates. I also know by experience that once I start to initiate things with a guy, I’m not comfortable and it creates a weird vibe and the guy loses interest. I just don’t know why. I also know that me not reaching out has always been the right thing to do while there’s ambiguity with a guy. I’m more of an old fashioned person and I won’t ‘man up’ or step up at his place.

 

I give him this week and if he doesn’t do anything, I’ll just get the hint and move on with my life.

 

He’s probably going to contact you to go out again, so that’s what I’d expect. You’re still going to have to make a physical move with him when that happens. OR you’ll have to speak up about it. Almost sounds like you’re hoping he doesn’t get in contact so you don’t have to worry about it, and I don’t think that’s wrong. I tell my friends all the time that you can’t hesitate with the women when it comes to physicality. Guys are afraid to get rejected or “come on too strong” and lose the girl but in reality they’re losing her anyway by acting like a wuss—it confuses her, makes her feel inadequate or feel he’s not confident or gay or something

Edited March 5, 2019 by Grey40

[stillafool]

I flirt with him by teasing him, laughing (making silly jokes) and just be myself around him haha I also dress up a little, put perfume and makeup on.

 

Teasing isn't really flirting and sometimes can come off offensive. Try complimenting him on his good qualities, it's more feminine.

[spiderowl]

I can see where you are coming from. If he hasn't initiated any physical contact by now, not even holding hands, then it sounds like he is not interested in that way.

 

I do know what you mean about an odd vibe if you initiate. Instinct tells me that if the guy does not initiate, he is not interested enough. If a guy is interested, you will know if you talk to him and spend time with him.

 

Maybe he has some problem or other that he doesn't like to talk about? Does he seem nervous with you or hesitant as if he wanted to say or do something? If you are not picking up any signs that he is physically attracted to you, then you might as well give up on him.

 

I think it is worth following your instinct. You feel something is off here and it probably is.

[kendahke]

I honestly don’t want to play a game, I just don’t feel like reaching out to him. I think it’s a bad idea to initiate

 

then you're going to have to be content with the consequences of taking that tack--which is you'll never know the information that you need to make an informed decision.

[preraph]

Oh, he could very well be gay and not want to admit it to himself or others. That happened to me, but I caught on quick. This guy is afraid of sex at a minimum. Don't make yourself initiate. It's pretty unattractive when a guy is too afraid to do it himself. Men don't usually hang around spending money on women if they're not interested, but that doesn't mean they're competent to have and know what to do with a girlfriend.

 

Date other people. He could be gay or just irretrievably chicken. Not what you need either way.

[ElKay]

I only read the first page, but I'm very much like you when dating! I just can't start the physicalities on my own. Once it has started, then I can initiate it.

 

The way I got around this is that I flirted pretty hard online in between dates and told my now-bf that I loved physical contact and cuddling, but had difficulties initiating it. Basically, I gave him the okay and our dates, now relationship, have been steamy ever since.

[MaleIntuition]

Oh, he could very well be gay and not want to admit it to himself or others. That happened to me, but I caught on quick. This guy is afraid of sex at a minimum. Don't make yourself initiate. It's pretty unattractive when a guy is too afraid to do it himself. Men don't usually hang around spending money on women if they're not interested, but that doesn't mean they're competent to have and know what to do with a girlfriend.

 

Date other people. He could be gay or just irretrievably chicken. Not what you need either way.

 

OP hasn’t initiate either, so in spirit of gender equality I suppose she is also homosexual and afraid of sex then?

 

The likely explanation is that he is a bit shy, inexperienced, and trying to be respectful. Nothing more nothing less.

[Mrs._December]

If he does contact you and y'all get a conversation going then simply ask if he likes kissing and see what he says

Do NOT do this.

 

It would come off as childish asking something like that. More so, it would sound like you were questioning his manhood - like you question whether he's a guy with guy desires or not.

 

Really. Don't do it.

[Hopeful30]

Here's what's interesting and i'm surprised no one else caught this -- you say it's very difficult for you to become physical with someone, yet you expect him to anyways.

 

It's difficult for me to open up physically as well, but I don't expect men to know that -- which is why I prefer to initiating physical contact in the beginning. Maybe he senses your fears and doesn't want to make a move. Men can sense when a woman is sexually into them or not. My guess is that on some level, he feels you aren't ready for physical contact....yet you are expecting him to do it anyways?

 

I feel like this 'problem' has more to do with your expectations and fears rather than his interest in you. If a man was has no physical interest in a woman, he wouldn't take her out on dates for the heck of it.

[preraph]

OP hasn’t initiate either, so in spirit of gender equality I suppose she is also homosexual and afraid of sex then?

 

The likely explanation is that he is a bit shy, inexperienced, and trying to be respectful. Nothing more nothing less.

 

Those qualities (shy, inexperienced) are attractive in women and unattractive in men. That's the point. If someone has too much social anxiety to complete a pass, they should be working on themselves instead of dating and making it someone else's problem.

[preraph]

Here's what's interesting and i'm surprised no one else caught this -- you say it's very difficult for you to become physical with someone, yet you expect him to anyways.

 

It's difficult for me to open up physically as well, but I don't expect men to know that -- which is why I prefer to initiating physical contact in the beginning. Maybe he senses your fears and doesn't want to make a move. Men can sense when a woman is sexually into them or not. My guess is that on some level, he feels you aren't ready for physical contact....yet you are expecting him to do it anyways?

 

I feel like this 'problem' has more to do with your expectations and fears rather than his interest in you. If a man was has no physical interest in a woman, he wouldn't take her out on dates for the heck of it.

 

Yes, he would, if he's gay and trying to avoid thinking about it. I dated one who did. But in general, that's true.

[MaleIntuition]

Those qualities (shy, inexperienced) are attractive in women and unattractive in men. That's the point. If someone has too much social anxiety to complete a pass, they should be working on themselves instead of dating and making it someone else's problem.

 

Yes, that’s a point (and true for some), but it’s not the point you made in your previous post where you said it’s likley that he isn’t into women and that he is afraid of sex.

 

And those are some veeery big (and frankly a bit offensive) assumptions to make based on very little information.

[Curiousroxy86]

Do NOT do this.

 

It would come off as childish asking something like that. More so, it would sound like you were questioning his manhood - like you question whether he's a guy with guy desires or not.

 

Really. Don't do it.

 

Listen OP I dated a guy who took me on two dates and didn't kiss me. And I was confused cause that just has never happened to me before. I was thinking was he stringing me along or gay??? Because he gave me flowers on the first date and was texting and calling in between dates and made it clear he was interested in eventually being in a long term relationship that led to marriage. Compliments and all and the not kissing was just a head scratcher for me too. I was ready to cut his behind loose and so I figured I had nothing to lose. And I literally texted him

 

"Joe honey do you not like kissing....because I do lol" and he replied "LOL!!! With a whole bunch of laughing emojis". And he explained he was a bit nervous and trying to be a gentleman and find the right time and on next date he kissed me. He contiuned to ask me out. But I didn't end up continue dating him for other reasons.

 

I didn't have to intiate kissing him. He stepped up and kissed me like I like. And we ended up laughing about it and it was fine.

 

So you could walk away, you could intiate....but if a guy doesn't kiss you by the 3rd date I don't see anything wrong about being direct. Say it how you want to say it. that's how I said it and felt comfortable saying it and if it happened again I would say it just like that again lol.

 

Your not asking him to kiss you or being confrontational like why haven't you kissed me. Your not making the first move feeling masculine and sh*t. Your simply asking if he likes kissing (because some people really don't) and you express that you like to kiss and see if he is into what your into. Your inviting and open conversation and personally I think it's an adult genuine way to handle it. And also see if he steps up. Either way you get your answer.

 

But do what's best for you

Edited March 7, 2019 by Curiousroxy86

[preraph]

Yes, that’s a point (and true for some), but it’s not the point you made in your previous post where you said it’s likley that he isn’t into women and that he is afraid of sex.

 

And those are some veeery big (and frankly a bit offensive) assumptions to make based on very little information.

 

There's only two possibilities and that's one of them, so....no remorse here.

[kendahke]

Listen OP I dated a guy who took me on two dates and didn't kiss me. And I was confused cause that just has never happened to me before. I was thinking was he stringing me along or gay??? Because he gave me flowers on the first date and was texting and calling in between dates and made it clear he was interested in eventually being in a long term relationship that led to marriage. Compliments and all and the not kissing was just a head scratcher for me too. I was ready to cut his behind loose and so I figured I had nothing to lose. And I literally texted him

 

"Joe honey do you not like kissing....because I do lol" and he replied "LOL!!! With a whole bunch of laughing emojis". And he explained he was a bit nervous and trying to be a gentleman and find the right time and on next date he kissed me. He contiuned to ask me out. But I didn't end up continue dating him for other reasons.

 

I didn't have to intiate kissing him. He stepped up and kissed me like I like. And we ended up laughing about it and it was fine.

 

So you could walk away, you could intiate....but if a guy doesn't kiss you by the 3rd date I don't see anything wrong about being direct. Say it how you want to say it. that's how I said it and felt comfortable saying it and if it happened again I would say it just like that again lol.

 

Your not asking him to kiss you or being confrontational like why haven't you kissed me. Your not making the first move feeling masculine and sh*t. Your simply asking if he likes kissing (because some people really don't) and you express that you like to kiss and see if he is into what your into. Your inviting and open conversation and personally I think it's an adult genuine way to handle it. And also see if he steps up. Either way you get your answer.

 

But do what's best for you

 

well said...

 

You can be hamfisted about it or be measured and adult about it...

[Abouttt]

So after a few dates (the last one was planned by me), he didn’t text me for a little bit more than a week (I didn’t reach out) and at some point, I got the ‘hint’ and decided to plan other dates with other people. That’s when he texted me saying he was really busy with something new he had to do in college and that he couldn’t text me earlier. Then, a few minutes later, he asked me (by text) where are things moving forward between us (I really didn’t expect him to ask me this lol) and he wanted to ask me this last time we saw each other, but he was really tired (which was true, he barely slept the night before because of his exam and he had to wake up early the next day to go see his family) and we were a bit in a hurry at the end of our date because I had to catch my bus. He said that he knows that asking this by text isn’t the best thing.

 

Anyways, I texted him one day after (so yesterday) that I want something serious or friendship and knowing him, he’ll probably answer in the evening or tomorrow. I also have another date planned this evening with another guy.

 

Why did he ask this? Does he want to move things forward?

 

I’m just confused by his behavior. Is it a typical case of a guy pulling away when he’s falling for a girl to figure things out and then comes back when he made his mind?

[smackie9]

hah that's wishful thinking. No he's just trying to keep you on the hook. Look if a guy is really into you, he wouldn't take any chances of letting someone else swoop in. IMO you should have told him the truth. Due to his lack of communication/attention, you have decided to date other guys. I believe he was weighing his options with someone else, to see if things develop with them. Things didn't happen so he contacts you again.

Think about it...people still need to eat and take a crap..there is time in there to shoot over a text right? I'm not buying what he told you.